Disposable Pets

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Revision as of 03:27, March 28, 2008 by Flutter (talk | contribs)

Jump to: navigation, search
Labrador Puppy2
The Dis-Pup v1 prototype

“I had a cat once, but it pissed on the carpet, so I slowly beheaded it with a dull AOL 9.0 cd then I threw it away”
~ Oscar Wilde on Disposable Pets

The concept of disposable pets is one that every person used to think about, but could never find a way without the RSPCA busting their doors down. However on the 30th of August 2001, Cute-Cuddles-Carpet company released their first product, a disposable and completely recyclable puppy.

CCC History

The Cute - Cuddles - Carpet Company was founded by a Mad Kitten huffer named Bob, while in a Kitten induced Psychosis. He soon found a following with Kitten huffers and Politicians. With a bit of government funding Bob soon started breeding his latest invention, and before long released the Dis-Puppy v1, with the motto "If it's not cute, who wants it..."

What Makes CCC Pets Disposable

The main thing that makes CCC pets disposable is the fact that they can be deposited in specially marked bins and returned when they are no longer cute and cuddly. Then they are either made into carpets, or sold on the black market to kitten huffers. The reason this is not stopped by the RSPCA is that they are being paid incredible amounts of money. In fact...25% of of all CCC profits go to them, which keeps them happy.

Supporting Organisations

Hungry Casper
"Hope you stay close..."

PETA- PETA was formed to keep competition at bay. The main goal of PETA is to ensure that no other company goes anywhere near the idea of disposable pets - and, of course, to keep their 5% of profits.

The Militant Wing of the Salvation Army- MWSA as its called is the back-up of CCC. If there is any threat of closure to CCC, a show of military strength will be required. The MWSA is a provenly effective special forces unit.

How to Buy Dis-Pets

Dis-Pets can be purchased from almost any retail store, and McDonalds has bought the rights to sell cheap Dis-Pet merchandise. There are also extensive TV commercials as well as the occasional bit of telemarketing.

See also

Personal tools
projects