From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Dinosaur Comics is a webcomic created by a paleontologist/robolinguicist/tall guy known by the alias Ryan North. Many fans abbreviate the title as DC (short for "Dinosaur Comics"), DDC ("Daily Dinosaur Comics"), or DDDDDDC ("Dang! Doubly Dashing, Daily Daring Dinosaur Comics"). Among other abbreviated titles, Dinosaur Comics' stands out as one of the most versatile in history. However, though abbreviated DC, Dinosaur Comics are not to be confused with DC Comics, which are far inferior, or the webcomic Dresden Codak, which is good but for different reasons.
It is remarkable for being the first comic to break the color-barrier. While controversial at the time, this landmark comic has helped to shape race relations in the west for decades.
Contrary to popular belief, Mr. North is not the original author--Dinosaur Comics is, in fact, Mr. North's translation of the Qwantz Codex, a 365-million-year-old stone tablet found on the moon in 1765. The language of the Qwantz Codex (particularly the abundance of cool words like "Woo!" and "awesome") is so confusing that every attempt at translation has been wildly wrong. Ryan North attempts a new translation every weekday (except when he doesn't feel like it), publishing the result as a new Dinosaur Comics strip.
In the past, and at sometimes in the future, the Qwantz Codex contains scripts of dinosaur movies, subsequently stolen and remade by North, who later "condenses" them in his comic. Sometimes, North simply writes about his own secret fantasies.
Each strip is accomanied by Ryan North's brilliant artistic interpretation of the story. Some people, however criticize the art, claiming that each strip is the same art with the dialogue changed; these people are clearly insane. In over 1000 comics, Mr. North has yet to ever reuse a joke or punchline (well, except for comics 1183 and 2112).
edit The Comics Themselves
The setting of Dinosaur Comics is a post-apocalyptic dystopia, in which war, disease, and environmental disaster have reduced nearly everything to a white, featureless plain. The main characters are Dromi (or Dromiceomeocemeimimiceimomius for short), an herbivorous female dinosaur, and her best friend THF (or Tiny Human Female, as Dromi affectionately calls her).
By day, Dromi and THF attend school, discuss feelings, and engage in deep, serious debates about philosophy, science, and semantics. By night, Dromi and THF use their superpowers to save what's left of the world from zombies and robots. Plots frequently involve time travel and alternate universes.
Dromi and THF live in a small log cabin. A society of raccoons and cephalopods beatniks live next door; their poetry slams and jam sessions frequently keep the girls awake late at night.
The Devil is one of the most frequently appearing villains. He is obsessed with macramé and talk about little else. There has been a rumor that Ryan North is a big macramé enthusiast, and that he has based the Devil on himself. But Ryan denies this, saying he only does a little macramé on the weekends. The Devil is never seen, only heard, and only by Dromi and THF. He mostly appears in times of great danger when he taunts the girls (And ask them for macramé tips.). Fans of the comic long speculated that the Devil was not real, but a delusion the heroines shared. This changed after the Armageddon saga. The Armageddon saga is the longest running story arch in Dinosaur Comics to date. It starts with the Devil convincing Dromi and THF that it is useless to go on fighting and that they should devote their lives to hedonism (and macramé). He then seduces them. The girls later regrets their new lifestyle, but too late: The Devil has impregnated them both. The comics actually chronicled the pregnancies for nine months, followed by a year of comics in which the sons of Dromi and THF fights over who would be the true antichrist.
T. Rex and Utahraptor are occasionally-appearing minor characters who alleviate the serious tone of Dinosaur Comics. Utahraptor is the token gay character; his only funtions within the comic is to set up jokes about homosexuals. T. Rex is the stereotypical "wacky" character; his trademarks are empty threats of stompings and the catchphrase "Pooty pooty!" Due to their popularity, Ryan North considered creating a spin-off series starring T. Rex and Utahraptor; he scrapped the idea when he realized that those two could not carry an entire story on their own.
Dinosaur Comics has few characters, so most of those who make appearances are very important to the story line, though there exist some exceptions. The exceptions are like VUPs, or Very UNimportant Persons, rather than VIPs. VUPs from the comic frequently show up on Uncyclopedia as UNusers and other UNrelated users.
edit The Main Characters
Dromi: One of the two lead characters, Dromi is often sidetracked from her main quest of saving the world by T-Rex, who frequently needs inoculations of a unique medication for his delusions of grandeur. She also serves to counterpoint the inherent silliness of T-Rex's sporadic outbursts with her extremely calm demeanor, even in the face of extreme danger. Dromi might suffer from night-terrors, but this is just speculation on T-Rex's part.
THF: or "Tiny Human Female," is not actually tiny, human, or female. In fact, she is an alter-ego of Utahraptor, who is large, not human, and gay. This prospect has been debated, but such dabates often stem from misunderstandings in the nature of Dissociative Identities Disorder, and the fact that THF and Utahraptor are one and the same is further evidenced by the fact that neither ever appear in the same comic panel.
Morris: Morris is a small bug that lives in Dromi and THF's log cabin. Regardless of how often the two see Morris, his presence never fails to surprise the pair. Morris has read every interesting book in history, and has a library of information in his head. This great wealth of knowledge is frequently tapped in Dromi and THF's philosophical debates, often when one of the two makes an incorrect assumption or statement about the history of philosophy.
Morris once beat Chuck Norris in a reproduction competition. Morris fertilized a record 40,000 eggs in one hour, with Chuck coming in a close second with 38,500 eggs.
Professor Science: Professor Science, like Morris, knows much about his chosen field of research. While Morris provides information on philosophy to Dromi and THF, Professor Science provides information on, as his name implies, music theory and history of music. Professor Science is known to be one of the greatest drummers in history, although he has no rhythm and is unable to keep a steady beat.
edit Minor Characters
Stong Bad: Makes infrequent appearances in the comic. He does not appear as often as viewers would like him to as he is frequently busy with his own feature, Stong Bad Emails. Though this feature does not appear on Qwantz, most of Ryan North's readers still find ways to access the Stong Bad Emails archives.
Utahraptor: Utahraptor is a raptor who lives in Utah. He only appears on days when Stong Bad needs a stand-in. He is a sufferer of Dissociative Identities Disorder, and his alternate personality is some unimportant girl. Utahraptor is probably some sort of Gay, but this is unverified, though he says this himself.
T-Rex: A sufferer of the rare mental affliction- Delusions of Grandeur, T-Rex often believes that he is, in fact, the main character of Dinosaur Comics. In fact, T-Rex is merely comic relief in an otherwise serious dramatic comic which deals with complex philosophical and scientific concepts. T-Rex is most frequently seen carrying on the logical progression of what he believes to be the main storyline, which is the main source of humor in the comic. These storylines mostly deal with T-Rex's sexual encounters and meat parties.
T-Rex sells hugs. He makes up for heavy price competition with extremely high quality hugs.
edit Comic Format
There is no set format; Ryan North adapts the art style to the plot of the comic. Some of the styles that North has used to tell the story of Dinosaur Comics include:
- Sock Puppets
- French Rap
- Sprite Comics
- 2-D fighter video games
- "Elephant" paintings
Only time will tell what style Ryan North will use next...
edit Secret messages
According to renowed secrets expert Dan Brown, Ryan North is secretly working with the illuminati/aliens/area 51/catholicism/Judaism/Well known secret society to cover up Aliens/Black Jesus/Batman/Batboy/Gay Marriage. While Ryan North could not be reached for comment, his undead servents claim these are baseless attacks and that Dan Brown is an idiot.
Each Dinosaur Comic contains 17 secret messages. The ways to find these messages is mostly unknown, but here are some:
- Ryan secretly enjoys insulting his audience with Alt-Text, RSS Feed Titles and the subject of his email link.
- Take the first letter of every word T-Rex says. Shuffle them carefully.
- Stare at the comic for nine minutes while blinking rapidly.
- Copy the comic into Photoshop. Zoom in on Utahraptors tail. You will find a map. Follow the map. You will find a cave guarded by cannibals and inhabited by a deranged pirate. On the innermost stalagmite of the cave the message will be carved in very small writing. Beware: most people who read these messages go mad.
- Print out the comic. On a Saturday night with a full moon place the comic in a circle of 13 black candles. Using your left hand and only one match, light the candles in a counter clock fashion starting with the northernmost candle. Pour over the comic a mix of the blood of a virgin black cat and the secretions from one of those toads you can lick to get high. At the stroke of midnight you must eat the entire comic in no more than 13 seconds. (Tip: You should have printed out the comic on some very thin paper.) Go to sleep. You will have a vision of a diplodocus wearing a mortarboard. He will tell you the message. Some say the messages from the diplodocus are profound truths about life and the universe. But in fact he just tells insulting jokes about your genitalia.
- An experienced practitioner of steganography will frequently notice the incongruities in color of T-Rex's nose in the final panel, from which they can deduce that there is a secret message hidden in the source code of the image. These secret messages usually turn out to be tips for finding other secret messages, most of which are vulgar and unfunny. The type of stuff you see on Uncyclopedia.