Dinosaur
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Dinosaurs were the original owners of the planet Earth, but sold it on a whim to Earth's current inhabitants for a bag of magic beans. They later found out that the beans would not grow a giant bean stalk which would lead to a giant, and this made their teeth hurt. Dinosaurs are often confused with, fdsafdffd a different breed of gigantic lizard.However, fasfdsa do produce eggs similar to those of dinosaurs, and like dinosaurs, they have extremely nauseating breath. It is widely believed that dinosaurs were invented by God to fool scientists and Democrats into hell.
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[edit] Genetic structure
Dinosaurs are one of the most varied animals in terms of apperance. Ranging from 20 centilitres wide to 30 megametres tall, 1 dinousaur is practically unrecognisable from the next. The only cohesive features between breeds are their hind legs the size of ice-breakers and their bright green scrotal tusks, visible only during football season. The real truth about the dinosaur that they never want you to forget is that their sexual organs are always showing. Even though they try to hide these things with "scales", the females aint buying it, and thus the Lesbian orientation was born. Then the male dinosaurs had no one to satisfy their "urges", and thus Monopoly and Taboo was born.
fidel castro thinks there scary>
[edit] The religious view
Some fucktards creationists are vehemently opposed to the notion that dinosaurs exist. They prefer to follow the teachings of the Bible, where the story of St. Peter battling the Giant Space Octopus, defeating him and creating humans from his remains is much more widely accepted. Even the world-famous dinosaur skeletons, discovered in the basement of the British Museum, have yet to convince the religious world otherwise.
Scientists and Priests are due to settle this debate once and for all with a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors in the Yankee Stadium at some time yet to be announced. Gates will open at 7:30. Tickets are $5 each. Bring your own beer.
If you kill one dinosaur, your home village (or tribe or suburb or commune) will declare you a hero, but if you kill too many, dirty hippies will come after you for driving an important species to extinction. The fact is that dinosaurs, no matter how terrifying they may be to humans, are part of the world's ecosystem as much as we are. The only difference is that they kill with big giant jaws or fire while humans kill with nukes and guns. and knives and swords and their own hands and water and candlesticks and rocks and power tools and heavy books and lethal injections and strangling and suffocation and hippopatomous' and leaders of bible study...
[edit] The greatest Dinosaur that ever lived...
==Dinosaurs: the Game==
A popular sci-fi action fighting game within the second to eighth grade demographics, Dinosaurs was created unwittingly when a young Charles Turner attempted to hit someone over the head with a rolly backpack and in the process looked very much like a dinosaur. The entire seventh grade class instantly erupted into a Dinosaur frenzy, as each person tried to be a dinosaur as well. Rules where quickly drawn up, including
- Run around and pretend your a dinosaur
- You can only be a flying dinosaur if you can actually fly
- No real biting
- Parasalalafolassas are for noobs
- Pokemon are not real dinosaurs
- A Tyrannosaurus can not mate with a Tricerotops
- Dinosaurs can't breath fire
- Don't fall in the Volcano
- look tough your supposed to be a dinosaur
A week after its invention, Dinosaurs erupted onto the market. It seemed that everyone from DC to Ben Shaw's house in Maryland was frolicking around the classroom, creating their own Jurassic adventures. In 2007, Joss Whedon created the first ever Standard rule book, which described in great detail possible settings, adventures, and gave a few new characters to choose from, including:
- Handheldsaur
- T Rexosaurus
- Tristerotops
- Parasalalafolassas
- Godzilla
- Albertosaurus
- Flying Dinosaur
- Walrosaurus
- That dinosaur in Jurrasic park that is, like, So Cool!
- Angrysaur
- Robbie Sinclair
- Loptersaurus
- Styrofomasaurus
- chucknorrisauros
- Megasuperawesomesaur
- Yoshisaurus (also known as 'Yoshi' or 'Rapeasaurus')
- Deathasaurus-rex
- Stimpysaurus
- Padasaurus
- John McCain
- Linosaurus
- Chaynasaurus
- Huganosaur
- Mitchadactyl
- Tomasaurus
- Riddlasillasaur
- FuckMyLifeasaurus rex
- Simosauralosaraptordactylsauris
- Acnesaurus aka Garrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyy
- Bill Gates aka Diplodociis
- George Bush
- Tony Blair
- AnaisTheNinjaRobotsaurus Rex
- Gordon Brown
- Nickasaur
- Zelisaurus Rex
- chucknorrisaurus.
- Bigcrazyfurybuttsexorex
N.B - The suffix Rex may be applied to any dinosaur name in order to imply superiority. During a game the leader may be bestowed with this honour (which means thay can fly and drink magma)...
[edit] Dinosaurs today
After selling Earth to the Martians, the dinosaurs demanded justice, and threatened to eat Earth's new owners. God convinced the Martians to give the dinosaurs New Jersey, but the dinosaurs were infuriated at the mere suggestion. God had no choice but to have all the dinosaurs tranquilised and sent to the Corupted remote Planet of Moglarg, where he provided them with food, bedding and 35 miles of electified fence. God, being the natural showman that he is, decided to milk the island for all it was worth. He built a hotel on the island, and created man so that he could charge somebody an entrance fee. However, he lacked the foresight to see that the dinosaurs might escape.
God now faces a hefty jail sentence if convicted of the murder of 13 Chinese scientists.
[edit] Shocking Recent Discovery
[The apparently genuine letter below, from a senior official at the prestigious Smithsonian Institution in Washington DC, was sent to an enthusiastic, ingenious and persistent archaeologist who digs his back garden and sends any finds to the Smithsonian with his own ideas of what they are and complete with his own scientific labels.]
Dear Mr Williams
Thank you for your latest submission to the Institution, labeled "93211-D, layer seven, next to the clothesline post ... Hominid skull".
We have given this specimen a careful and detailed examination, and regret to inform you that we disagree with your theory that it represents conclusive proof of the presence of Early Man in Charleston County two million years ago. Rather, it appears that what you have found is the head of a Barbie doll, of the variety that one of our staff, who has small children, believes to be "Malibu Barbie".
It is evident that you have given a great deal of thought to the analysis of this specimen, and you may be quite certain that those of us who are familiar with your prior work in the field were loath to come to contradiction with your findings. However, we do feel that there are a number of physical attributes of the specimen which might have tipped you off to its modern origin:
1. The material is molded plastic. Ancient hominid remains are typically fossilized bone.
2. Cranial capacity of the specimen is approximately 9 cubic centimeters, well below the threshold of even the earliest identified proto-hominids.
3. The dentition pattern evident on the skull is more consistent with the teeth-marks of the common domesticated dog than it is with the ravenous man-eating Pliocene clams you speculate roamed the wetlands during that time. This latter finding is certainly one of the most intriguing hypotheses you have submitted in your history with this institution, but the evidence seems to weigh rather heavily against it.
4. Your mom
Without going into too much detail, let us say that:
A. The specimen looks like the head of a Barbie doll that a dog has chewed on.
It is with feelings tinged with melancholy that we must deny your request to have the specimen carbon-dated. This is partially due to the heavy load our lab must bear in its normal operation and partly due to carbon-dating's notorious inaccuracy in fossils of recent geologic record. To the best of our knowledge, no Barbie dolls were produced prior to 1956 AD, and carbon-dating is likely to produce wildly inaccurate results.
Sadly, we must also deny your request that we approach the National Science Foundation Phylogeny Department with the concept of assigning your specimen the scientific name Australopithecus spiff-arino. Speaking personally, I, for one, fought tenaciously for the acceptance of your proposed taxonomy, but was ultimately voted down because the species name you selected was hyphenated and didn't really sound like it might be Latin. However, we gladly accept your generous donation of this fascinating specimen to the museum. While it is undoubtedly not a Hominid fossil, it is, nonetheless, yet another riveting example of the great body of work you seem to accumulate here so effortlessly.
You should know that our Director has reserved a special shelf in his office for the display of the specimens you have previously submitted to the Institution, and the entire staff speculates daily on what you will happen upon next in your digs at the site you have discovered in your Newport backyard. We eagerly anticipate your trip to our nation's capital that you proposed in your last letter, and several of us are pressing the Director to pay for it. We are particularly interested in hearing you expand on your theories surrounding the "trans-positating fillifitation of ferrous ions in a structural matrix" that makes the excellent juvenile Tyrannosaurus Rex femur you recently discovered take on the deceptive appearance of a rusty 9-mm Sears Craftsman automotive crescent wrench.
Yours in Science Harvey Rowe Chief Curator – Antiquities
[edit] Extinction of the Dinosaurs
There are many theories about exactly how the dinosaurs were extincted. There is the theory made by 19th century Mcdonald's manager Douglas Ferderstand. This theory says that in 1938 beloved childrens entertainer Adolf Hitler, uncovered Jesus' time machine and traveled back to the time of the Dinosaurs. He claimed he was trying to protect the purity of German blood so he had recruiters try and convince dinosaurs to breed with Nazis, hoping to make a race of Nazisaurs! Sadly for them, the dinosaurs hadn't eaten in days due to "The Great Famine" in Ireland in 1845 and were starving. Trust me; it wasn't pretty. The dinosaurs were all but wiped out a few hours later when Hitler got mad about the recruiters all being eaten and told his scientists to kill them all with lethal injections of carrot juice. This theory is ofcorse losing popularity amongst the scientific community because of books discovered in Hitler's castle stating that he did not want to make a race of Nazisaures, but many still think theses books are just a lie made by the Sceintologists to disguise Mr. Hitler's brilliant plan.
A second theory that is sweeping world is that Stephen Hawking went back in time and killed the dinosaurs. This theory says that Stephen Hawking and Chuck Norris were playing a game of poker when Chuck Norris saw that Stephen Hawking was cheating. Enraged by this act, Chuck attemped to sommon this guy to Avada Cadabra him, but Chuck forgot that this spell has a warm up time of 4 seconds, which was just enough time for Stephen Hawking to escape via his built in time machine. While he was traveling through time, a hole in the space-time fabric caused him to end up in the time of the dinosaurs. Stephen was pissed because he ended up in the wrong place and PWn3d all of the dinosaurs just because they looked at him funny. This theory has proof because Al Gore invented it.
The real reason of dinosaur extinction was quite obvious though. As opposed to its counterpart the "Yoshi" which cannot survive without the virus, dinousaurs are killed by it. Yes, it was the AIDS that finally killed all the dinsaurs.
Some quick dote points.
- Going to the mueseum and staring at the dead dinosaurs all day.
- Being called a "paleontologist" for digging up dead stuff and calling it interesting.
- Watching walking with dinosaurs if your some science geek/loner who has to much time on their hands.
- Calling them creepy and funny looking
as we all know people have different views on why we should know about dinosaurs like the scientist- "It is our duty as scientist (with our heads up our #$%'s!) to give the scientific truth about the creepy creatures that look funny and sound strange. With all us guys in our big white coats with our clipboards.)
so.............. what we can sum from that is that- we are guys in cheep white coats from big w. who have no idea what we're talking about and love playing solitare on our computers.
yes,
dinosaurs are really worth talking about.
not
thanks for reading
- )
This is funny lol hitler was a gay boy lol hitler crying >>>>> T.T
[edit] One Species Survived
One species, known as the Norrisaurus survived do to its amazing ability to roundhouse kick things. It ate well during the great famine and was known back then as the Great Norris. After getting caught under a forest that fell on him and having to eat his way out with its mouth, it became the most famous dinosaur in the world, Chuck Norris.
Please press alt+F4 for more information.
[edit] See also
- Mesozoic
- Goldasaurus
- Dinosaurs, masturbation of
- Ozone layer
- God
- The Bible
- Oprah Winfrey
- The Fellatious Period
- The Flintstones
- Chicken
- Microsoft
- Physicsaurus NB This dinosaur, unlike others, is not extinct yet.
- Bub
- Oscar Wilde
- John Prescott
- Michael Foot
- Bill O'Reilly
- Yoshi
