From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Dinoflagellates were dinosaurs who injured themselves ahead of the great meteor fall over the Yucatan Peninsula in an attempt to gain strength. They followed the principle of what doesn't kill you must make you stronger. Unfortunately for the dinoflagellates, they often killed each other trying to make themselves stronger. What kills you does NOT make you stronger.
The first dinoflagellates were the Coelophysis. According to fossil evidence, these early dinosaurs attacked and ate each other in hard times to strengthen the pack. During one drought, hundreds of Coelophysis gathered around a dwindling watering hole to engage in The Strengthening: an event where everyone present must scratch, bite, and trample every other individual in the same place. They were the only dinoflagellates that existed during the Triassic Period.
During the Jurassic Period, this behavior passed on to other species of dinosaurs. Soon, dinosaurs began biting and even eating outright other species of dinosaurs in an attempt to satiate their lust for a tougher physique.
One such group of later dinoflagellates was the Triceratops. Scientists deduced from the markings on their fossilized horns that these dinosaurs frequently locked horns with each other as well as the Stegasaurus during droughts and mating season to improve their reproductive health as well as attract mates. This behavior has been observed in every species of dinosaur that had spikes and/or armor plated skin that existed during the Cretaceous Period. By the time the meteor arrived, every dinosaur alive was a dinoflagellate.
edit Ultimate test
Did the dinoflagellates' work pay off? Did all that beating themselves up and killing each other help the dinosaurs survive? Alas, no.
As the meteor crossed the sky, the dinoflagellates had what would be their last feast as living dinosaurs in a dining hall designed and built by Leonardo da Vinci. The meal consisted of arms, legs, skin, bony plates, tounges, and tails from every dinosaur alive. Everyone dining had been skinned and/or maimed in preparation for the event.
edit Last moments alive
When the meteor grew dangerously close to Earth, a Tyrannosaurous Rex peered out of the dining hall to watch the fiery light show. When other nearby dinosaurs expressed concern, the T. Rex was quoted as saying, "We can take this. After all, we're dinoflagellates, remember?" Those would be the dinosaur's last words. He then delightfully collapsed in the meteor explosion a second later.