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Dig Dug is a retarded sex game meant for JACK SQUAT! I'm kidding! It teaches the importants of digging ditches to bury your dead!
Dig Dug the secret menace
“He digs for Britain”
The main objective of this horrid game is to destroy underground monsters. What you don't know is that in reality by destroying these game monsters you are actually setting free demons to stalk the land of Saskatchewan. They eat the souls of babies and chipmunks. Not even catholic priests with their special exorcism rituals can deter or destroy these foul beasts. Only the dagger of Methusalah from the temple of elemental evil can stop their sick wrath from rampaging across canada and devastating the local baby and chipmunk populations. Every time your little Dig Dug man dies,un-beknownst to you, a part of your soul is stolen by Azazel.
Your weapon for unleashing the hordes of the underworld is some strange inflating device that oddly resembles an enlarging penis. So not only are you releasing evil into the world to torment the innocent and furry, you are also being covertly over sexualized by a sadistic little man in white and blue. Satan is very proud of his clever game.
Steps you can take to evade this undercover menace
- Step 1: Immediately take this game away from your children,nieces and nephews,local neighborhood kids,and their friends.
- Step 2: Enroll said children in soul restoration centers.
- Step 3: Do not play this game yourself, unless you're already evil....then it's ok.
- Step 4: Send copies of this game to your enemies.
- Step 6: Get drunk with a prostitute and watch South Park until your genetalia has become opposite. Sort of.