Didst Thou Ken

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Didst thou ken...

  • ... if one would catch flies 'tis better to eschew vinegar and use honey or beefsteak well decayed?
  • ... that a wise man contendeth not with a fool, but striketh him with a large faggot or well proportioned mackerel instead?
  • ... thou art more likely to collapse of the dropsy than to succumb to the wiles of Medusa?
  • ... if thou wert to take a stroll off the edge of the earth, thou wouldst anon fall to the depths of Hell, to be buggered by the Devil?
  • ... if thou feedest a maiden of virtue true, chaste and untouched, to a dragon, the dragon will only want more?
  • ... variety is the spice of life, but sea salt is the proper spice to remove the foul flavor of mold from most meats?
  • ... the iceman cometh, and he cometh hard?
  • ... that it's not the iceman, we have recently been informed that it is in fact the ozzman, to the disappointment of all?
  • ... if thou findest a bag of holding, and holdest it back, it will become sexually excited?
  • ... for whom the bell tolls? It tolls for thee, especially if you dare have the Insanity Frog ringtone.
  • ... that whilst two birds can be killed with one stone, many more can be crushed in a landslide?
  • ... that if Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, pepper prices would plummet below proposed percentage profits?
  • ... that there is much music, excellent voice, in this little organ, yet cannot you make it speak?
  • ... that fortune doth favor the brave, but the Fortune 500 doth favor those deep in coin and shallow of heart?
  • ... that 'tis a braw bricht moonlicht nicht th' nicht, because no bugger'll pay for the heating?
  • ... that first come is first severed?
  • ... that a pox be upon your house?
  • ... that mater hath decreed thou art to be beaten quite insensible?
  • ... olde English filleth my mind, and anon hath I constructed a rhyme of purest funk?
  • ... that thee Kingis Quire?
  • ... that Cardinal Wolsey is himself possessed of but a single Orb?
  • ... that herein lies Alchemie's Innermost Truth, not some thrice-damned and foul devilry of a paltry list!
  • ... you can't get ye flask?
  • ... and anon hiring yon private investigator, Barbie uncover'd thy skulduggery?
  • ... that ye Buggery Act (1533) is not a request?
  • ... that I am with child? Yes, Ken, thou dids't!
  • ... that man bit by dog is rarely considered news, yet dog bit by man is considered witchcraft? Funny olde worlde.
  • ... that I have befoul'd myself, and anon shalt thou be befoul'd?
  • ... I have licked that which you would eat?
  • ... the way to San José? Thou dost? Spaniard!
  • ... that to shift ones vowels thou must clear thy bowels?
  • ... that in ye olde Soviet Russia, vodka drinketh YE!!??
  • ... that most foul of all Godde's creatures is ye Chillax?
  • ... that gneiss resembleth schist? Titter ye not. 'Tis true.
  • ... that yon flatbread-fetching knave hath but a single minute twain? Both monies and flatbreads shall I possess this night, methinks.
  • ... that to try dissent is one thing, but dysentery quite another?
  • ... that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and this beauty hath landed in her hair?
  • ... that witchcraft is a secret jealously guarded by the witchmakers of Swotzerland?
  • ... that I keep wanting to write "ith" instead of "is", even though there is no historical basis for yte?
  • ... thou had'st best enquire of a body? Worde.
  • ... that if scyte is wit, thou art a scyte-wit?
  • ... that 'tis greater than nine thousands?
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