Diary

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

“I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.”

~ Oscar Wilde

A diary is where I keep all the personal thoughts and feelings I have throughout the day. I keep it under my bed, on my laptop and on Uncyclopedia. I know it is safe there where no one can read it. I decided to keep a diary for reference in the future, to actually see where my depressing life went wrong.

[edit] January 4, 2005

Dear Diary,

   Today my dad and mom hid me from the natiz. they said they will be back after world war 2 is over. They never came back.I was so scared because they separated from me. My parents never came back though.

[edit] March 3, 2005

Dear Diary,

Today I learned that a diary is also where they produce cheese, yog-sot-hurt and milk.

[edit] May 4, 2005

Dear Diary,

Today is my 8th Birthday. My big brother gave me a knuckle sandwich as a present, but it didn't taste very good. I can't wait to show the Tooth Fairy all the teeth that fell out!

[edit] Monday December 25 2007

Its critsmas todayh and my parents gave me gifts. I got a monkey in a chain! I have always wanted a monkey, but my mum says monkeys are dangeroouuss beasts that eat people. I liked my monkey, since it could dance and stufff... I am so sad! My father ate my monkey while he laughed for no particular reason.. I think he is going mad becazue he was drinking that discusting brown water again and he gots like mad yeah. I think I should go to sleep now... To bad about the funny monkey. Monkeys are funneyh. Tomorrow I am gonna make a time machine! I saw it on TV! and OH NO my penis fell of. :( How irritating and unfitting for this situation I personally am in right now. Oh no my eyes fell of, and I am still writing. My hair is burning, what is this nonsense, and OMG I think I got SEHS!!!!!!:sdasd...