Dialga

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I am Dialga, the ruler of time...Woof

~ Dialga on himself

THERE IS NO DIALGA!

~ Jack Bauer on Dialga

Wow! It's Dialga! The ruler of time! How great to see you, standing tall, looking after time- I mean, after all, you are fabulous! I'm the Doctor, nice to meet you, Dialga.

~ Doctor Who on when he first meet Dialga

Is it time yet to end the world? No.

~ Dialga on end of time

Fuck that bastard, I will fucking kill him

~ Palkia on Dialga

No matter what anyone says, I love Dialga with all my heart

~ Arceus on Dialga

Ooooh a Doggy Biscuit

~ Dialga on his favourite snack

I always have time with Dialga.... but no time for Palkia!

~ Giratina on Dialga
Dialga (wearing high heels)
Japanese name Dialga is cute! (ディアルガ可愛いです!)
Chinese name Time Dog (帝牙盧卡)
Stage Ultimate
Evolves from Egg
Evolves to Time
Species Temporal Doggy
Type Steel/Dragon/Cute
Height 5.4m (17'9")
Weight 683kg (1508lbs)
Ability Uber Pwn
Next Pokémon Some Space Penis Called Palkia
Previous Pokémon The Lake Trio that kept trippin' balls.
Main Advantage Controls Time and the Time Magazine itself
Main Disadvantage Completely Gay

Dialga is a Pokemon that controls time. It is also featured in Pokemon Diamond, which makes itself proud to control time and be a mascot of Pokemon Diamond. He currently lives in the world of time, where everything can control time.

Contents

[edit] Biography

Dialga spends most of his time in the real universe, inside the Temporal Tower[1]. However, he often goes to Earth to work as a CEO of Time Magazine. That's why the magazine was knwon as Time, because Dialga wrote for Time since 1927. He owns a TARDIS that looks like a penis.

[edit] The Life of Dialga

[edit] Birth

Dialga was born from Arceus' egg/vagina/anus. Time started to move. Just about 6 hours, 6 minutes and 6 seconds before, Palkia had been born and space had started to expand. Palkia, however, was pure evil. He tried to make Dialga go insane by sending him death threats by the Pelipper postal system and crushing his doggy biscuits. Dialga fought against Palkia several times, which at one time, caused the birth of Giratina.

[edit] Youth

After years of Dialga being driven insane by Palkia, Dialga was finally attacked by Palkia (along with Arceus), after an epic battle in the Place Palkia and Dialga were head to head on the planet below the place. Palkia was charging up a Massive Spacial Rend but Arceus told Dialga that he had a special power too. So Dialga then started to clench his muscles and a blue energy aura surrounded him, he opened his mouth and started to collect vasts amounts of energy. After charging to his max capacity Palkia said "Your Death comes now Dialga, feel the might of a fully charged SPACIAL REND" And with that Palkia fired the massive Spacial Rend towards Dialga and with Arceus' command Dialga fired his fully charged Roar of Time at Palkia.

Both attacks collided in the middle and created a massive shower of energy sparks, the collosion point began to glow and finally exploded creating a cylindrical wave of what looked like space that flew out horizontally and disappeared into the horizon. The explosion hit Palkia in his grey chest area and knocked him to the ground--luckily Dialga survived the explosion and was recovering energy after using his move; Palkia however was badly injured and was struggling to get up, he fired a Spacial Rend at Dialga but missed him. What nobody knew was the space that flew towards the horizon was the birth of Giratina's Home, a parallel universe.

[edit] The Battle

Palkia distorted the very fabric of space with Darkrai's help and thus, Arceus accidently sent Dialga into Giratinas world, Giratina attacked Dialga thinking Dialga ripped the fabric of space; but when Dialga cried and instantly surrendered, Giratina realised that Dialga was too weak and wimpy to distort space and thus hired Dialga as a sex slave (and an ally to take down Palkia, although Giratina was probably going to use Dialga as a sheild).

However, Darkrai decided to distort time, so he destoryed Dialga's place, which made him go crazy. It was a year later that someone restored time, and Dialga stopped being insane. But then, Palkia had other plans. He decided to kill Giratina and Dialga. Luckily, Palkia was locked up and was inflicted by a nightmare that was done by Darkrai.

[edit] After the Black Hole incident

OVER 9000 Years after Palkia died (trapped in the Prison of Light), Giratina decided to control space (alongside Dialga) but eventually, Arceus took control of space from Giratina and told him never to control Space again. Arceus regretted the day when Palkia tried to kill Dialga so he didn't want Giratina becoming power-hungry and doing the same.

[edit] Mystery Dungeon Role

Dialga is one of the main antagonists protagonists in the game, this is due to the fact that after you save him from his tantrum and prevent a giant Thunder Wave hitting the planet he changes the future and effectively creates a small Time Paradox without any negative effects. Dialga talks calmly and gently after you stop his tantrum and sets about working to rebuild Temporal Tower, even though he still abuses caps lock. Then your main-character-from-the-future walks off and vaporises and your partner gets all angsty. [2]

[edit] Dialga's Battle

Dialga decided to fight against the ghost of Palkia (Darkrai) and Giratina.

[edit] Dialga's Moveset

[edit] Best moves for Dialga

[edit] Dialga's Learnset

Level Move
- Smelly Breath
- Woof Cutely
5 Splash
7 Growl
10 Tail Wag
20 Pounce
26 Kick a Rock Out of Curiosity
30 Sing
40 Roar of Time
50 Destroy Cancer Curing Drugs by Accident
59 Beg for Doggy Biscuits
65 Accidentally Crush Small Stuff
73 Gay Hump
80 Seizure Cannon
90 Hyper Beam
100 Stupidly Ram Head Into A Wall
OVER 9000 Distort Time Without Arceus' Help
Max Level Jerk off to porn (required to defeat Ganon)

[edit] Reference

  1. Tajiri, Satoshi et al. Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Time/Darkness, The Pokemon Company/Chunsoft 2008
  2. Pokemon Mystery Dungeon 2: Explorers of Time/Darkness Nintendo, Chunsoft 2008/The Pokemon Company 2008.

[edit] See also

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