Dexter's Laboratory

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d e s u

This article is patent ED fucktard nonsense.
This, however, does not mean it isn't funny.

“A physics professor and his assistant are working on liberating negatively-charged hydroxyl ions, when all of a sudden, the assistant says, "Wait, professor, what if the salicylic acids do not accept the hydroxyl ions?" And the professor responds, "That's no hydroxyl ion; that's my wife!"”

~ Dexter on jokes

“Dexter's a cookie!”

~ Robot parrot on Dexter

“Hehe, he's short.”

~ User:soviotkandyland on Dexter

As America was emerging from a decade of chaos and desolation due to the effects of Disney dictatorship and Looney Tunes there was one voice, one vision, one genius to help us all overcome our dark impulses and rejoice in the glory of the light. His name was Dexter Oniga Gucci (or the great D.O.G) This is his story.

[edit] The man

Dexter was born in a time beyond time reading devices (which he invented, and gave the name clocks) therefore his coming into the world can only be dated as 0:00 on the 00.00.0001, in the Dexterarian calendar. It is widely known however that his birth was before the great feeding and the great burp that commenced after the great cleansing in the great hall of light. It is also generally accepted that only a life of Dexter can cleanse one's soul and prepare one for the afterlife.

[edit] Parental Control

His parents were common folk, unprepared to take care of such a genius. In order to prepare them for the shock the doctor planned to stage a puppet show as indicated in the famous article Worst 100 Ways to Deliver Bad News (which Dexter invented by sheer will power). However he just got a hint that he might have AIDS in the form of a singing telegram and decided to wipe out his memory. Since then a series of misfortunational news followed all doctors that treated Dexter. This is the only reason why no doctor was able to identify Dexter's remarkable genius by the patterns of his baby drools and teeth imprints which resembled Mona Lisa and revealed DaVinci's Code. He also envented the butt device which he tested on his mother and gave her a huge badonkadonk

[edit] His Hellish Entrance To Science

Bored with arts Dexter will soon migrate to science, though this pattern was broken down only when all doctors in the Dexter area were long dead. Desperate his parents took him to the famous voodoo doctor whose name cannot be pronounced without casting eternal famine on your chickens (billywitchdoctor.com). The voodoo doctor concluded that Dexter's high genius could only be balanced in this world by an equal evil mind and used his magical powers to summon an evil daemon from the 7th circle of hell. It is unclear what happened to the daemon or the voodoo doctor since they both disappeared mysteriously and reappeared after years as the famous Modern talking group and sometimes as Sigfried and Roy(just for the money, though). He loves to run around naked spanking his buttcheeks for everyone to see and he wears a stupid leaf to cover his dick but his main attraction is his cute little white ass. He is a common nudist, streaking in the middle of the day.

[edit] DeeDee

Unrelated to this event Dexter's mom, by now in chronic depression due to Dexter's height (lack of) and it's implications on her hopes of having grandchildren, gave birth to his older sister DeeDee.

DeeDee entered a life of illegal crime and hip hop taking the alias of Double D Cups from an early age, to protect her innocent family. Encouraged by this underground movement Dexter joined several para-military organizations. His actions finally led to a revolution. After his revolution and proclamation as king, Dexter decided he wanted more and started building an underground secret facility for nuclear and chemical bombs. This facility will soon come to be known as the "Dexter's Laboratory". With the help of his sister DeeDee, Dexter prepared to lead a new revolution that would overcome all the world and establish him as king over everything.

[edit] The Holy War On Hip-Hop

It was now that Dexter realized the errors of his ways. He already had invented everything there was to invent in the world just so he could conquer it. Shocked by this new thesis, Dexter decided to renegate his own sister and start a holy war against the hip-hop empire.

Uncertain about what this revolution and holy war business was his parents sent him to bed without supper. Confined to his own cell like room Dexter found a way to mentally control the robots in his laboratory situated milions of miles away and teleport his facility within his own room. The U.S government noticed this strange laboratory movement and decided to blame a random country for possession of wet dogs and attack it.

The rest is legendary hippo piss out the ass.

[edit] Influence

During the early 90's Dexter's lab was a fucking big hit. The name of the great Dexter, and even though this fucker is unknown to the public, he'll soon emerge as the world's greatest OB-gene. Yeah that's right, just call him at +639164629530. He'll surely give you a good bullshit answer. Trust this website even though inside you don't really care.

[edit] The book

After his great revolution, while confined to his room Dexter wrote his autobiography entitled Mein Knackwurst. The book will probably hit the libraries next summer and is already a predicted best- seller. Here is a most thriling paragraph from his latest chapter intitled "I understand".

"I have understood my love for science can be compared with nothing as common and humane as what you wear mortals call love. What you call love is for me only an appetizer to the great three course feast that is my life dedicated to the science of understanding. For it is understanding not science itself that made me understand that I understand the science of understanding more than I understand the science of not understanding. And thus I understand. I understand and that is why I can compare my understanding with the meal, the source of life and energy for all creatures, those understanding and not understanding alike in their understanding of the need for understanding. Do you understand?"

Steven Spielberg will also produce a movie based on Dexter's book, however Dexter will be played by a gigantic T-Rex and Dee Dee. by a little alien who wants to order a pizza.