DeviantART
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
- The crappiness of this article begins with its lowercase letter. Do not be alarmed. This is a necessary inclusion.
deviantART is an Emmy award-winning American fantasy television series created by Scott Jarkoff, Angelo Sotira and Matthew Stephens. The plot details the lives of artists around the world and their attempts to produce noncanonical fanart.
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[edit] Production
DeviantART was marred by numerous setbacks prior to the broadcast of its first episode, including the death and subsequent resurrection of most of its cast and crew.
[edit] Practices
DeviantART functions by allowing its members to display artwork and comment on the artwork of other people. It is one of the largest online communities of athiests. However, a majority of the art is in the medium of photography and/or photo manipulation. And by photography and/or photo manipulation, the definition in this context is really only taking pictures of the anatomy and/or physical formations of female bodies while they are naked. In short, being pornography. Seriously, they have, like, naked women everywhere. Search up naked woman, boobs, naked lady poses, more boobs, and breasts. The whole frickin' structure is held up by porn.
However, in reality the website replaces all artwork that a user views, apart from his own, with masterpieces by genius artists from across the ages. However, most users do not realize this because they never leave their computers, and therefore have never seen any real art. The effect created by this tends to be that every user on deviantART believes his own work is absolute crap, while remaining in awe of all the other users. Slowly, a user's ego disintegrates, and he loses all hope of ever being worth anything in life. The user eventually metamorphoses into an emo.
What happens from here varies. deviantART has experimented, with some success, in placing subliminal messages in pieces of art viewed, which easily get through the user's already weakened mental defenses. Most of the experiments include further selling their product to the viewer, or rather having the viewer sell their soul to the product. A good example of this is the "subscribe to deviantART" text pasted all over the website. Subscriptions give a user dubious benefits, such as the ability to make polls which other brainwashed users can comment on.
[edit] The Emo Factor
One of the most important features of deviantART is something known as the emo factor. The emo factor is spyware, which connects to the brain of whomever happens to be unfortunate enough to create a deviantART account, and modifies their brain patterns causing them to produce a seemingly endless supply of emo artwork which is generally referred to as shit by intellectuals, as well as common people. A majority of the artwork posted on deviantART is simply poorly rendered image incorporating some form of masochism.
[edit] Origin
There are theories that the emo factor was created by Plato after stumbling on deviantART while looking for emo artwork to put on the wall of his bedroom. Disappointed by the lack of quality emo artwork, he created the emo factor and began to let it do its work. This is only one theory, however, and all the experts who were examining the data have also been struck down by the emo factor and had to be removed from their positions because they were no longer able to function properly.
[edit] Symptoms
- You experience undeniable urges to listen to Hawthorne Heights music.
- You develop an irrational fear of opening your messages.
- You cry.
- You feel inexplicable urges to wear lots of black eyeliner.
- You experience the sudden desire to change your Screenname to "xx___th3 dark maiden xx 666" or any variant thereof.
- You have an urge to spend more than 11 hours a day on Bebo or something similar.
- You long for a tablet and stylus, as well as Photoshop CS4000000x10 so you can create even more awesome art!
- You begin to use phrases such as 'canon/fanon' 'OMG' 'lol' 'fav' in actual conversations (if you are still having actual conversations, at this time).
- You cry.
- A lot.
- You actually read this list, and have been nodding your head.
- You are a red and black dragon wannabe, whose IRL is just some fat British guy, and wants some free artz.
- You start to act like Tilford Edwards, you heard me. TILFORD EDWARDS!!!!!!
- You are a female and are too stupid to accept the flaws that females come with. Like CandyCornKita and some of her supporters and photo-buff. GROW UP! ALL OF YOU!
- You shop at Hot Topic, but claim you made it or bought it from Salvation Army.
- You have an disgusting urge to draw Naruto as a furry with disgustingly large breasts.
- You search for porn art....sick bastards.
[edit] Fella
Fella is the deviantART mascot. For some reason, he always looks angry, no matter where or why his image is used. This is probably because he has no arms, and, although he can somehow levitate his hands at will, they are simple spheres, making it impossible for him to do anything with them except pleasure Goa Tse practitioners. But we should just face it, the poor little guy has no fucking limbs! It is believed that he is the lame half-son of Rayman and Gigantor. There have also been unconfirmed reports that fella is usually constipated, and that he has a UTI from having anal sex with Princess Peach.
[edit] Content
Aside from the porno, you'll find plenty of other crap which is apparently called "art," which we know is "photography," aka "taking pictures of the anatomy and physical formations of female bodies while they are naked" aka "hot naked Asian chicks" aka "hot naked Asian chicks in a wet bikini contest" aka "porno." Apparently, there are peeps out there who are overexcited about their "art," which really is just a black line zig-zagging all over the frickin' page with random colors everywhere, upload it, and dub it to HELL as "art." This also applies to six year olds who post their shitty little scrawlings that look like a 64-pack of Crayolas vomited and have Rembrandt spinning in his grave. These belong on the fridge where they will be briefly admired, then thrown out.
DeviantART has many sections for people to post their crude emo-music inspired doodles. Current estimates state that ninety-eight percent of all artworks on the site are in the section Fanart>Games, and are directly related to Final Fantasy and Kingdom Hearts. At an indeterminate point in the future, the site will reach what is known to theoretical physicists as the Kingdom Hearts Event Horizon, at which point posting a non-Kingdom Hearts related artwork to the site will be impossible, and dA will be sued into oblivion by Disney and Tetsuya Nomura. All of the people who use deviantART are from Japan, or at least think they are.
67.897% of deviantART is made up of crazy kawaii neko naru yaoi fangirls. You should put some critiques on their pages. They'll take offense and start screaming and crying and then they'll block you, which always makes for a good day.
The website is also infamous for the origin of the slashfic religion known as ZADR.
[edit] Kingdom Hearts Event Horizon
- Main Article: Kingdom Hearts Event Horizon
The Kingdom Hearts Event Horizon is a sad event that, unfortunately occurs in many online communities. It starts out with some good-quality KH artwork. People are then inspired to post some more pictures, which in turn inspires others to post their own crappy KH artwork. The quality constantly decreases, and as more people post, more people realize this fact. They want to fix it, of course, and then try to post good KH artwork that turns out to be even crappier. This in turn inspires people to post even crappier KH artwork. Eventually, the online community degenerates into people posting only Kingdom Hearts artwork, except for the lucky few that grew wings and migrated to Uncyclopedia.
[edit] Manga
- Main Article: Manga
Surveys show that 110% percent of the art on deviantART is manga style (closely followed by Photography which a whopping 109% of the site is filled with). This shows that the Manga Virus is spreading. Artists who do not do fanart, manga, or anything like that (and no, not even porno) are never seen because of all the manga art. The Manga Virus can also mutate to adapt to other styles, e.g. Kingdom Hearts.
However, though a high percentage of devArt members are known to be manga-fags, it has been proven that the popular site, 4chan, actually has sixty percent more manga fags in its member list.
