Desert Eagle

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“The fact that you've got "Replica" written down the side of your gun. (draws his gun), and the fact that I've got "Desert Eagle point five O" written on the side of mine, should precipitate your balls into shrinking, along with your presence. Now... Fuck off.”

~ Bullet Tooth Tony on Desert Eagle

A Desert Eagle wielding an Octopus

“Tell me, Mister Anderson. What good is such a big gun if you have no mouth?”

~ Agent Smith on Desert Eagle

“Dude, you're not making any sense”

~ Neo on Agent Smith

“I DON'T NEED TO! I'M PACKING A DESERT EAGLE! NOW BEND OVER!”

~ Agent Smith on Desert Eagle

“The Desert Eagle - Weapon of choice for the Israeli Defence Force and every drug dealer on East Coast USA.”

~ Anonymous on Desert Eagle

“NO!!! WHY!!! WHY!!!, I never thought I'd see the day!, the .44 Magnum cant be Surpassed!!!”

~ Dirty Harry on When asked about the Desert Eagle

“ If there's anything this gun can't kill, I want to hear about it then I'm gonna kill it with a bigger gun...”

~ the grim reaper on Desert Eagle

An Octopus wielding a Desert Eagle

That's one big motherfucking gun

Desert Eagle by Jewish Global Industries, is the biggest fucking pistol you'll ever see in every action film, blasting away the good, the bad and the ugly. In fact, calling this item a "Pistol" would be like calling an atomic bomb a firecracker since the DE is in fact the largest handgun in existence, Dirty Harry's little .44 Magnum can Fuck off.

Why, you ask? We're glad you did. For several reasons:

The DE was created for people who are genitilia-unchallenged (i.e. - got a huge penis). To counter-balance their tendency to loose their balance due to wrong body weight ratios, they must carry a big motherfucking gun at all times.
Being a Product of Zionism this impressing piece of hardware must convey the might of the global agenda of Judaism less its power be diminished.
To make sure that this mighty weapon can drop just about any terrorist. Even Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.
Speaking of which, you can actually use it to shoot down ICBMs coming your way.
To have a stopping power fit for an Elephant. Why? Because it's cool, that's why!

For Limited Time Only! The babe is included

WARNING! NASTY RECOIL!

Typical DE owners suffer from severe side effects due to recoil. Use extreme caution.

[edit] Effects of recoil

Being such a big piece, the DE has some know nasty side effects to it. Mainly, horrendous recoil. Having the equivalent of a 124Kg punch to it, the DE might cause some dire effects on its owners. The typical unprepared DE owner can be identified by having the following:

Displaced shoulders
A very big dent in their forehead
No Arms
Very long arms
A disproportional large upper body
Missing in counter strike
Dis
Brain damage, and under Common circumstances Brain death.
Down syndrome
Parkinson's disease.
Erectile Disfunction
A Large Amount of Shit in your pants.
A feeling that you juct got run over by 45 Trucks and then savagele

[edit] The DE in popular culture

Anyone who claims to know anything about guns will always mouth off about the 'Deagle'.
These people don't really know what they're talking about but it gives them what they perceive to be wang value.
People who think they know about guns are irritating, avoid them and don't listen to them unless they actually do know about guns... otherwise you're just encouraging them.
Under no circumstances should a small child ever have access to a DE UNLESS there is a very apparent existence of zombies within 500 miles of said child's location.]
The unaccurate piece of crap in Call of Duty 4, typically sought after by Fat noobs, who have not yet become Morbidly obese. WARNING: RECOIL CAN AND WILL BREAK YOUR SCREEN.
The above is not true. Do NOT read any of the above sentence. If you have read it, then you need to take a Deagle and shoot your NOOB A$$ in the face. Its shiny.
Movies use this gun. They are posers.