Deming

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
“When was the last time you had a chicken fried steak with mashed potatoes for $4.99? (Bet you can't eat it all!)"
~ Local Delicacy
Prisonw445

Deming: Whole lotta nothing

Burgerf

"Serving everything from burgers to fries."

Deming is one of America's largest gas stations! It has about 15,000 full time residents. Deming exports some of the highest numbers of Mexicans into the US annually. Some of the major industries are frozen tamale's, and welfare. Many people retire to Denny's New Mexico for it's lovely sandstorms that rival those on Tatooine. Although Deming is low in extra terrestrial aliens it boasts duck races once a year and has one coffee shop. You can get any food item with roasted green chilli including pizza, and McDonald's has a special 'international' menu; like double cheese burger with chillis!

Once a tuberculosis colony, now it's just a colony of people.. with tuberculosis. Always second best Deming took the silver spike in the uniting of eastern and western railroads, for the second time in US history, A true achievement, the first joining of the Eastern and Western railways... for a second time.

edit Sun! Sand! Surf!*

Cardeming

It is rumored that Deming is part of the 'devil's triangle', and it is said that Charles Manson used to party in the badlands a few miles north of Deming. If Charles Manson ever escapes or is released he has claimed he would like to retire to Deming.

It is widely advised you do not pick up any hitch-hikers in this area as there is a prison nearby and hitch-hikers may be recently released, or escaped convicts.

Another famous person from here is Broadway composer: Nacio Herb Brown! A local park is named for him. He actually penned the tune Singing in the Rain and many other famous numbers. Why does September seem sunny as spring? "Might have something to do with living in the middle of an f*%ing desert", surmises one expert. "Hey, if I were named after nachos and weed, I might be pretty carefree too." His parents might have been on to something: when the going gets tough the tough eat nachos and smoke pot, and then in a stupor name their kids after their favorite snacks & pastime.

*surf not included

edit Much Ado About Deming

Hipy

"They're coming right for us"

There is good hunting about an hour's drive north of Deming in Silver City where there are many types of hippies. You can take in many cultural sights in Las Cruces, or El Paso; only 2 hours away.

The Deming Duck Race is another unique cultural wonder. Lacking horse racing, dog racing, or any other sport that requires a little money (you have to feed kept animals). Each year residents collect stray wildlife and bet on which will be the first to run out of town. Based on a long tradition of "Getting the hell out of here"; the duck race is something not to be missed. One camper on Deming remarked about her dog "I can not convince him to leave the motorhome." and said "I brought many tools with me to aid in the search of rock."

Rock hound

"Look son I found one!"

There's also lot's of rocks. At the "Rock Hound, State Rock Park" you can find many rocks, just a quick 40 minute drive from town. A notable distinction from the many types of sand Deming offers.

edit Intestinal Flora and Fauna

Although Deming boasts a large number of wild rabbits, it is recommended that you do not eat them. Even when thoroughly cooked they still posses large numbers of worm eggs.

edit Historic Deming

"The [Bargain Barn] was completed in 1917 and expanded in 1930. The wood framed plate glass windows, signboard and bulkheads are visible. It has a truncated roof, concrete block and stone capped crenelations. A brick front and adobe rear are present." - This building is listed on the State Register of Cultural Properties. It had been converted to the old Spanish Disco, and in its current incarnation, is a rubble factory.

Deming is also regularly raided by Mexico in a recreation of the famous raids of the past, where residents are looted and shot. (See Pancho Villa)

Deming

a Border Wolf cleverly disguised as a tank

Deming used to harbor an active military, forward operating base: Border Wolf; as part of operation Jumpstart. It is now closed and resources have been spread elsewhere. You can sometimes still see drones, tanks, and full formation Black silent C.I.A. helicopters. The airbases in the state like to pretend its a small Afghani village; and use it for training, (not hard to do).

edit See Also: Deming Chamber of Commerce

Personal tools
projects