Deathstroke

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

“It's strange how I know this guy's first name but I keep wondering who he is.”

~ The Teen Titans animated version of Robin

“Oh, c'mon. I mean, who HASN'T been ripped off by me these days?”

~ Deadpool on Deathstroke's accusal of Deadpool for identity theft

“The reason he has no fanbase is because he was in that pussified Teen Titans show.”

~ Everyone on Deathstroke

Deathstroke the Terminator (a.k.a. The Govenator, Santa Claus, Slade Wilson, just Slade [in the pussy ass animated series], and SUPAFREEK!!!) is an evil psychopath guy who claims to be named Leslie but is actually named Slade Wilson. He can beat you up just by looking at you. In the Teen Titans anime show, he is called by his first name due to the fact that Cartoon Network is run by pussies who are too scared to say the words "Death" or "Stroke" and believe that censorship is a good thing. He is not to be confused with Deadpool who is a fucking knock-off of him, and also a complete tool. Yet, somehow, he manages to score with the fanboys a lot better than Deathstroke, which has led to Slade's subtle nickname for him, "YOU FUCKING CUNT-LICK."

Contents 1 Lawsuit against Marvel Comics 2 Ethnicity 3 Relationships 4 Conflicts with Batman and Robin 5 Family 6 Early Years 7 Post-Crisis

[edit] Lawsuit against Marvel Comics

Deathstroke sued Marvel for use of Spider-Man whom he claims is a character that he made up. He then used the lawsuit money to buy a Twinkie. Another conflict he has had with Marvel is about Deadpool, though Marvel claims that Deadpool is not in any way based on or inspired by Deathstroke. Deadpool himself has said the Slade is a "Big Meanie" and says he wants to pee on him and knock him upside the head... or something.

[edit] Ethnicity

Though his ethnic origins were at first debated, he is now confirmed to be Italian, much like his second cousin Joey Tribbiani. At first he was thought to be African since that's what his animated series counterpart is, then he was thought to be a Lebanese born Filipino-Afghan. He is NOT Cuban despite popular belief.

[edit] Relationships

Slade (before he was Deathstroke) was known for having a relationship with Demi Moore. This relationship ended really nastily in the 1980's. After this he started dating an underaged girl named Terra, who has really useless super powers and smokes a lot. After Terra's tragic death caused by the Teen Titans, he dated Wade Jones. They got married and she changed her name to Wade Wilson (this just happens to be Deadpool's real name). Deadpool was angry at Slade's wife for pretty much stealing his name and creamed her into pudding and fed it to his cat Jeffrey. Slade was angered by this and decided to break things out of anger. He is currently dating Lindsay Lohan though he can definitely do better.

[edit] Conflicts with Batman and Robin

He is very well know for his conflicts with the superhero Batman and his partner Robin. Once on Jimmy Kimmel he said "Batman and Robin must be a homosexual couple.", this very much upset The Dark Knight and The Boy Wonder. In fact, Robin formed the Teen Titans after Deathstroke made this comment and tracked him down and beat him senseless, this may be why he always wears a goddamn eyepatch. As a rebuttal to the Teen titans apparently "ruining his life", he formed the Legion of Doom with Lex Luthor, Jerry Seinfeld, and Samuel L. Jackson. They occasionally meet up in Lex' underwater basement/lair/thing. The Legion first planned an unsuccessful attack on Batman and Robin. This failed because he accidentally killed the Filipino knock-offs of Batman and Robin. After this unsuccessful attack he told Joel Schumacher to make 2 really shitty Batman feature films, one starring Val Kilmer and one starring George Clooney. These movies made Batman and Robin's costumes have nipples on them at the request of Deathstroke. These movies ruined the career of the Caped Crusader and Boy Wonder thus making Deathstroke's plan an EPIC WIN! That is, until 2005 when a British guy named Christopher Nolan made a movie known as Batman Begins, starring Christian Bale as Batman and a sequel, The Dark Knight. These two movies restored Batman's reputation (and the Joker's already infamous fame also increased to worldwide God, Google searches for The Joker (or alternatevley "Kill The Batman" or "HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa!" or "Ronald McDonald's less creepy brother, no not Pennywise, the other one, the even LESS creepy one, yeah him, the gay Aussie cowboy" shot up a whopping 30 gajillion percent and was ultimately certified UBER STAR by the League of Doom/Hollywood) but unfortunately not Robin's. In an earlier attempt to restore Robin's career, there was the infamous Teen Titans animated series which nobody even likes and Deathstroke claims to be a "piss stain" which you have to agree with because Robin keeps asking the question "Who is Slade?" when he fuckin' knows his first name!

[edit] Family

Spouse

• Adeline Wilson (divorced)

Girlfriends

• Tara Markov (She was 15 and he... well about 40)
• Dakota Fanning
• Barbara Streisand
• Lindsay Lohan (deceased)

Boy Friends

• Geoffery Leonard
• Tommy Lee
• Roman Polanski
• Barney the Dinosaur

Children

• Grant Wilson: AKA The Prettyboy
• Joseph Wilson: AKA Captain Passive Aggressive
• Rose Wilson: AKA The Ravager
• Wade Wilson: AKA The Knock off
• James Wilson: AKA House's Friend
• Slade: AKA The Mispelled
• Michael Jackson: AKA The Monochrome Molestor ( deceased...God rest his soul... :*( )

[edit] Early Years

Deathstroke claims he served in the army, which he probably didn't but it doesn't even matter because he's awesome. He also claims that he was born in Africa to 2 gay parents who were stowaways from Jerusalem and he inherited his awesome superpowers from his great grandfather Moses. This also probably isn't true. Not much is known about him besides these terrible lies he has told, but what do you expect? He's a bad guy!

[edit] Post-Crisis

After the pointless and confusing events of the Crisis on Infinite Earths, the entire continuity changed and Deathstroke and Deadpool are now the same person. Also his age is now 41 rather than 42 and he is now a sexually confused pot smoking hippie. To make everything more pointlessly confusing than it already is, he is later retconned into being a tranny. Why, you ask? Because DC feels like it.