Dear Diary:I Met the Love of My Life Today

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edit July 29th, 2009: Community Pool

Ah, the Wednesday dip. My weekly reprieve from the world, 10 minutes of just me, the lap pool, and my water wings. Little did I suspect, this Wednesday would be like no other Wednesday. This Wednesday, my destiny would come to me in a polka-dotted onesie, ready to whisk me away to a land of ecstasy and lollipops.

She was exiting the locker room just as I was finishing my second lap. Our eyes locked, I blushed slightly, she tripped over a small child. I pray she didn't hear my snickers. She brushed off my gallant offer of aid with a small smile and quietly slipped into the lane next to me. Even from behind her bulbous goggles, I could see her eyes shine.

She swam beautifully, as if the water were rushing to propel her forward as eagerly as I was. Alas, the water was a jealous fiend and hindered my journey, so I could only watch as she raced to the far end of the pool, bravely defying the deep end I dared not traverse. Upon reaching the far wall she submerged herself, only to abate my panicked frenzy by resurfacing more gracefully than a mermaid, mysteriously moving in the opposite direction.

Lap Pool

The deep end, my personal 6-foot grave.

Upon reaching my end of the pool once more, she removed her goggles and shook the water out of her hair, as if to impersonate the ritual my basset hound always undertook to dry his magnificent mane. My desperate attempts to seize a lock of the beautiful hair were to no avail. It was then that I noticed a small child staring at me with some wonderment (the same small child, in fact, that the lovely vixen next to me had previously tripped over), so I viciously compelled him to return to the kiddy pool that he belonged in. Noting that my antics had alarmed my poolmate, I smiled and said simply, "kids, ha ha!".

Blue Whale

Maybe not like a blue whale, this guy's a bit of a pussy.

After some hesitation, my beautiful salmon asked if I was going to be swimming as well. I gave a small smile and took off, not even giving my passage over the deep end a second third thought. Mother would have been proud. After floundering around for a bit, I sunk an inch, touched off bottom, and sped back in the other direction. I emerged like a blue whale, spouting water in all directions as if to show my dominance of the sea. I'm sure she was smiling at my majestic achievement before I spat water in her face.

When the water had settled from my display of superiority, she was already back in the water continuing her swim, surely too intimidated to socialize any further. I continued swimming as well, as I'm sure that when she returns for the next Wednesday dip she'll have collected herself enough for me to make my real move. When she had finished, she nimbly lifted herself out of the pool and returned to the locker room. As I watched the door close behind her, I felt unfamiliar emotions well up and erupt within me. Maybe it was joy, maybe it was excitement.

At any rate, I quietly thanked God that they use chlorine in swimming pools and promptly left.

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