Deaf culture

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A typical deaf man who has escaped his cage.




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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about Deaf culture.

The walking deaf are a type of zombie spread by loud noises. Aside from the lack of auditory acumen, deaf people are also generally impeded in their ability to use their vocal orifices, this is not because they can't hear or due to low self esteem, as was once thought, but because all deaf people are too damn lazy to learn to talk like the living and because they think they are better than us. Normally, deaf people are kept in a cage for their own protection, deaf tamers have to muzzle on them when you take them out or they will bite you.

Being culturally Deaf is not to be confused with being biologically deaf; like how you can be considered Jewish without ever actually going to temple or learning a word of Hebrew; except that unlike being born of a Jewish woman, you can always convert to being deaf later in life through a circumcision of the inner ears. Typically the Deaf grow up not hearing, viewing their condition not as a disease but as a divergent mutation, while the lowercase deaf are like all the other Marvel superheroes who aren't mutants but rather mutates, having acquired their superpowers later in life and without the benefit of specialized schools. The rivalry between the two groups can be lethal as seen in the gang wars between the Bloods and Crips.

edit Why "Deafies/Deafos" Aren't to be Trusted

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Deaf people are fundamentally evil, dangerous, and should not be trusted even by the dumbest man alive. Because they can’t hear they have developed many evil forms of witchcraft to fight against us normal folk. The most famous forms of their evil magic are Sign Language and Lip Reading/Eating.

edit Sign Language

The main purpose of sign language is to lull the victim into a trance and then steal his or her ears for use by the deaf witch and/or wizard.

edit Lip Reading and/or Eating

These practices are the most evil things the deafies can do to us. Lip reading is one of the most evil practices in the world, it allows the deaf to steal the thoughts of other people. The deafo can thus ‘read’ the words a real human speaks and use them against them.

edit See Also

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