UnNews:Dead Sea Scrolls reveal advice

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

(Redirected from Dead Sea Scrolls)
Jump to: navigation, search
This article is part of UnNews UnNews Logo Potato1 Your source for up-to-the-microsecond misinformation.

17 May 2006

“How can you get useful information from a DEAD Sea Scroll?”
~ Alfred E. Neuman on The Scriptures

ISRAEL -- Last week, in a surpising announcement, the International Commission to Translate the Dead Sea Scrolls revealed that it had translated an entire section, using altavista's "babel-fish" function.

That section, now called the "Lost Proverbs", has been released to the press for inspection. The team of translators is still confused as to why these proverbs were hidden. Also, there are no indicators who the advice is for.

One translator said, "yeah, we sat around with it for months, and we couldn't figure out who was giving advice to whom. So we said screw it, lets publish what we have..."

UnNews has been given the initial exclusive to the new list of proverbs. As a note of caution, the translation team warns that each individual might interpret the list differently. Here are the 43 Lost Proverbs, use them wisely:


edit The 43 Lost Proverbs

  1. To dance a toaster, is to dance acceptably
  2. To dance a toaster, is to dance acceptably
  3. To dance a toaster, is to dance acceptably
  4. To dance a toaster, is to dance acceptably
  5. To dance a toaster, is to dance acceptably
  6. To dance a toaster, is to dance acceptably
  7. To dance a toaster, is to dance acceptably
  8. To dance a toaster, is to dance acceptably
  9. To dance a toaster, is to dance acceptably
  10. To dance a toaster, is to dance acceptably
  11. To dance a toaster, is to dance acceptably
  12. To dance a toaster, is to dance acceptably
  13. To dance a toaster, is to dance acceptably
  14. To dance a toaster, is to dance acceptably
  15. To dance a toaster, is to dance acceptably
  16. To dance a toaster, is to dance acceptably
  17. To dance a toaster, is to dance acceptably
  18. To dance a toaster, is to dance acceptably
  19. To dance a toaster, is to dance acceptably
  20. To dance a toaster, is to dance acceptably
  21. To dance a toaster, is to dance acceptably
  22. To dance a toaster, is to dance acceptably
  23. To dance a toaster, is to dance acceptably
  24. To dance a toaster, is to dance acceptably
  25. To dance a toaster, is to dance acceptably
  26. To dance a toaster, is to dance acceptably
  27. To dance a toaster, is to dance acceptably
  28. To dance a toaster, is to dance acceptably
  29. To dance a toaster, is to dance acceptably
  30. To dance a toaster, is to dance acceptably
  31. To dance a toaster, is to dance acceptably
  32. To dance a toaster, is to dance acceptably
  33. To dance a toaster, is to dance acceptably
  34. To dance a toaster, is to dance acceptably
  35. To dance a toaster, is to dance acceptably
  36. To dance a toaster, is to dance acceptably
  37. To dance a toaster, is to dance acceptably
  38. To dance a toaster, is to dance acceptably
  39. To dance a toaster, is to dance acceptably
  40. To dance a toaster, is to dance acceptably
  41. To dance a toaster, is to dance acceptably
  42. To dance a toaster, is to dance {{adv})
  43. Darth Vader is a real peach.

edit Sources

  • the International Commission to Translate the Dead Sea Scrolls

edit Notes

We're still trying to find the segment that contains the instructions on how to build giant angst-powered mechs.

Personal tools
projects