UnNews:Dead Sea Scrolls reveal advice

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

(Redirected from Dead Sea Scrolls)
Jump to: navigation, search
This article is part of UnNews UnNews Logo Potato1 Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?

17 May 2006

“How can you get useful information from a DEAD Sea Scroll?”
~ Alfred E. Neuman on The Scriptures

ISRAEL -- Last week, in a surpising announcement, the International Commission to Translate the Dead Sea Scrolls revealed that it had translated an entire section, using altavista's "babel-fish" function.

That section, now called the "Lost Proverbs", has been released to the press for inspection. The team of translators is still confused as to why these proverbs were hidden. Also, there are no indicators who the advice is for.

One translator said, "yeah, we sat around with it for months, and we couldn't figure out who was giving advice to whom. So we said screw it, lets publish what we have..."

UnNews has been given the initial exclusive to the new list of proverbs. As a note of caution, the translation team warns that each individual might interpret the list differently. Here are the 43 Lost Proverbs, use them wisely:


edit The 43 Lost Proverbs

  1. To fuck a hot dog, is to fuck insufficiently
  2. To fuck a hot dog, is to fuck insufficiently
  3. To fuck a hot dog, is to fuck insufficiently
  4. To fuck a hot dog, is to fuck insufficiently
  5. To fuck a hot dog, is to fuck insufficiently
  6. To fuck a hot dog, is to fuck insufficiently
  7. To fuck a hot dog, is to fuck insufficiently
  8. To fuck a hot dog, is to fuck insufficiently
  9. To fuck a hot dog, is to fuck insufficiently
  10. To fuck a hot dog, is to fuck insufficiently
  11. To fuck a hot dog, is to fuck insufficiently
  12. To fuck a hot dog, is to fuck insufficiently
  13. To fuck a hot dog, is to fuck insufficiently
  14. To fuck a hot dog, is to fuck insufficiently
  15. To fuck a hot dog, is to fuck insufficiently
  16. To fuck a hot dog, is to fuck insufficiently
  17. To fuck a hot dog, is to fuck insufficiently
  18. To fuck a hot dog, is to fuck insufficiently
  19. To fuck a hot dog, is to fuck insufficiently
  20. To fuck a hot dog, is to fuck insufficiently
  21. To fuck a hot dog, is to fuck insufficiently
  22. To fuck a hot dog, is to fuck insufficiently
  23. To fuck a hot dog, is to fuck insufficiently
  24. To fuck a hot dog, is to fuck insufficiently
  25. To fuck a hot dog, is to fuck insufficiently
  26. To fuck a hot dog, is to fuck insufficiently
  27. To fuck a hot dog, is to fuck insufficiently
  28. To fuck a hot dog, is to fuck insufficiently
  29. To fuck a hot dog, is to fuck insufficiently
  30. To fuck a hot dog, is to fuck insufficiently
  31. To fuck a hot dog, is to fuck insufficiently
  32. To fuck a hot dog, is to fuck insufficiently
  33. To fuck a hot dog, is to fuck insufficiently
  34. To fuck a hot dog, is to fuck insufficiently
  35. To fuck a hot dog, is to fuck insufficiently
  36. To fuck a hot dog, is to fuck insufficiently
  37. To fuck a hot dog, is to fuck insufficiently
  38. To fuck a hot dog, is to fuck insufficiently
  39. To fuck a hot dog, is to fuck insufficiently
  40. To fuck a hot dog, is to fuck insufficiently
  41. To fuck a hot dog, is to fuck insufficiently
  42. To fuck a hot dog, is to fuck {{adv})
  43. Monica Lewinski is a real peach.

edit Sources

  • the International Commission to Translate the Dead Sea Scrolls

edit Notes

We're still trying to find the segment that contains the instructions on how to build giant angst-powered mechs.

Personal tools
projects