UnNews:Dead Sea Scrolls reveal advice

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Dead Sea Scrolls reveal advice

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17 May 2006

“How can you get useful information from a DEAD Sea Scroll?”
~ Alfred E. Neuman on The Scriptures

ISRAEL -- Last week, in a surpising announcement, the International Commission to Translate the Dead Sea Scrolls revealed that it had translated an entire section, using altavista's "babel-fish" function.

That section, now called the "Lost Proverbs", has been released to the press for inspection. The team of translators is still confused as to why these proverbs were hidden. Also, there are no indicators who the advice is for.

One translator said, "yeah, we sat around with it for months, and we couldn't figure out who was giving advice to whom. So we said screw it, lets publish what we have..."

UnNews has been given the initial exclusive to the new list of proverbs. As a note of caution, the translation team warns that each individual might interpret the list differently. Here are the 43 Lost Proverbs, use them wisely:


edit The 43 Lost Proverbs

  1. To incarcerate a nuclear reactor, is to incarcerate riotously
  2. To incarcerate a nuclear reactor, is to incarcerate riotously
  3. To incarcerate a nuclear reactor, is to incarcerate riotously
  4. To incarcerate a nuclear reactor, is to incarcerate riotously
  5. To incarcerate a nuclear reactor, is to incarcerate riotously
  6. To incarcerate a nuclear reactor, is to incarcerate riotously
  7. To incarcerate a nuclear reactor, is to incarcerate riotously
  8. To incarcerate a nuclear reactor, is to incarcerate riotously
  9. To incarcerate a nuclear reactor, is to incarcerate riotously
  10. To incarcerate a nuclear reactor, is to incarcerate riotously
  11. To incarcerate a nuclear reactor, is to incarcerate riotously
  12. To incarcerate a nuclear reactor, is to incarcerate riotously
  13. To incarcerate a nuclear reactor, is to incarcerate riotously
  14. To incarcerate a nuclear reactor, is to incarcerate riotously
  15. To incarcerate a nuclear reactor, is to incarcerate riotously
  16. To incarcerate a nuclear reactor, is to incarcerate riotously
  17. To incarcerate a nuclear reactor, is to incarcerate riotously
  18. To incarcerate a nuclear reactor, is to incarcerate riotously
  19. To incarcerate a nuclear reactor, is to incarcerate riotously
  20. To incarcerate a nuclear reactor, is to incarcerate riotously
  21. To incarcerate a nuclear reactor, is to incarcerate riotously
  22. To incarcerate a nuclear reactor, is to incarcerate riotously
  23. To incarcerate a nuclear reactor, is to incarcerate riotously
  24. To incarcerate a nuclear reactor, is to incarcerate riotously
  25. To incarcerate a nuclear reactor, is to incarcerate riotously
  26. To incarcerate a nuclear reactor, is to incarcerate riotously
  27. To incarcerate a nuclear reactor, is to incarcerate riotously
  28. To incarcerate a nuclear reactor, is to incarcerate riotously
  29. To incarcerate a nuclear reactor, is to incarcerate riotously
  30. To incarcerate a nuclear reactor, is to incarcerate riotously
  31. To incarcerate a nuclear reactor, is to incarcerate riotously
  32. To incarcerate a nuclear reactor, is to incarcerate riotously
  33. To incarcerate a nuclear reactor, is to incarcerate riotously
  34. To incarcerate a nuclear reactor, is to incarcerate riotously
  35. To incarcerate a nuclear reactor, is to incarcerate riotously
  36. To incarcerate a nuclear reactor, is to incarcerate riotously
  37. To incarcerate a nuclear reactor, is to incarcerate riotously
  38. To incarcerate a nuclear reactor, is to incarcerate riotously
  39. To incarcerate a nuclear reactor, is to incarcerate riotously
  40. To incarcerate a nuclear reactor, is to incarcerate riotously
  41. To incarcerate a nuclear reactor, is to incarcerate riotously
  42. To incarcerate a nuclear reactor, is to incarcerate {{adv})
  43. SEHS is a real peach.

edit Sources

  • the International Commission to Translate the Dead Sea Scrolls

edit Notes

We're still trying to find the segment that contains the instructions on how to build giant angst-powered mechs.

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