David Jason

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
Djis

David "Two Christain Names" Jason

Bouncywikilogo3
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about David Jason.
“Those three last Only Fools And Horses believe in Jesus Christmas episodes broadcast from 2001-2003 were not lovely-jubbly.”
~ The Great British Public on David Jason

Sir David Veronica White, OBE (born 2 February 1940), better known by his stage name David Jason, is an English television actor believed by the Vatican to be the Antichrist. His name appears on a list that resides in the Pope's own secret papal chamber.

Many believe the cheeky wannabe cockney to be the epitome of televised comedy. However, this is not the case. He is in FACT the bastard son of a thousand maniacs.

Urban Legend has it, that if you look into a mirror at midnight on Halloween and repeat the name 'Del Boy' six hundred and sixty six times you will see the face of Satan. Who will then proceed to clobber you to death with a million undeserved BAFTA awards.

Scientific studies recently concluded by the "Institute for Scientific Studies into Paranormal Stuff with the Exception of Derek Acorah" have found that all you need to do to see the 'face of Satan' is turn on BBC One on Christmas day and watch Jason parade around in a comedy Batman outfit and dropping Chandeliers.

A leak at the BBC recently reported that Jason was part of a world domination plot that aimed to turn all the United Kingdom's television viewers into mindless couch potatoes. To do this they recycled old Harold Lloyd, Charlie Chaplin and Laurel and Hardy comedy moments and combined them with the DNA taken from some of the most annoying people ever to have walked this fair planet. The results were amazing (Apparently) The first 'Batch' of these Hell children included Jason, Jim Davidson, Lenny Henry, Dawn French (see fat) and Cannon and Ball.

One BBC programme maker was quoted to have said "Yeah..great, because only fools and horses will watch it!" when it was announced that Jason was to be live tested on the public.

Pope1

The old pope at an ANTI-JASON rally in Cardiff.

edit Jason Syndrome

Jason Syndrome has now been officially accepted and added to The Big Book of Real Medical Conditions although at this time it is believed that the ignorance it induces and the distaste for 'real' comedy can never be cured. Many many sufferers are found dead in a pile of their own excrement surrounded by crisp packets after feeling compelled to watch endless re-runs of crap comedy from this awful evil little man fortunately he has one son, shares the same fist name but to avoid public humilliation changed the surname to Sewell after his hero Brian Sewell.

Personal tools
projects