From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
“I think I'm clean from drugs now. I'm still willing to talk about it though. A lot. I may even get another horrible solo album out of it.”
David Gahan ("The Strongest Man in the Universe™") is the baritone lead singer for the English electronic band Depeche Mode, and along with his bandmates, use their powers to defend Eternia and the secrets of Castle Grayskull from the evil forces of Skeletor. He is the alter ego of Prince Adam and also the soul brother of Martin Gore. He leads you to the portrait in the attic.
Life before Depeche Mode
Born May 9, 1962 in Castle Grayskull, Epping, Essex, England, to parents Sylvia (a seductress on London's buses known as "a clippy") and MerLen (a bus driver / sorcerer), Dave Gahan was six months old when his father was born, a testament to Gahan's amazing super-human abilities. Sylvia and Len divorced two years later and his mother moved Dave and soul brother Martin Gore (aka Princess Adora) to Basildon, Essex, after Sylvia met and married her second husband Jack. The children were raised under the impression that their mother's second husband (Jack Gahan; from whom Dave takes his second name, and after whom Dave's own son Jack is named) was in fact their real father, and it took many years for Gahan to come to terms with the mystical powers his secret lineage bestowed upon him once he learned the truth.
Castle Grayskull, which resembles a gigantic skull, is the source of Gahan's powers. Inside the Castle lives the Sorceress, who grants Prince Adam his transformative abilities, and communicates telepathically with him (She also created fellow band member Martin Gore's many S&M harnesses from a rare Eternian mineral called Korodite, which adds to his physical strength). Consequently, Gahan would also struggle with an intense addiction to Korodite throughout the mid-90's. The Sorceress of Castle Grayskull endows Prince Adam with the power to transform into Dave Gahan, which Adam does by raising his Power Vest and proclaiming: "Yeah! By the power of Grayskull...Yeah! I have the power! Let me see those hands! That's right!".
Gahan is characterized by his immense strength. In a video sequence of the 1990 promotional clip for the song "Halo", he claims to be "The Strongest Man in the Universe". Similar wording is also used in early packaging of Dave Gahan toys. It is unknown if there is a limit to how long Gahan can remain Gahan before he reverts back to his original form of Prince Adam, but in the 2001 DVD "One Night in Paris" (backstage segment), Gahan is shown enduring the brunt of at least two large interview question explosions, which he survives, but reverts back to Adam in the process, suggesting that even the mythical Dave Gahan has a limit as to how much abuse he can endure before his superhuman strength and stamina is exhausted.
Gahan's primary weapon is his "sword" (wink wink), but he also uses other weapons, such as a microphones and mic stands while battling his foes. His "sword" is able to deflect bolts of energy both magical and technological, though his half-human lineage still leaves it vulnerable to common STDs.
Enemies and Villains
Gahan and the rest of Depeche Mode have battled a wide variety of rivals over their 25+ year career.
Gahan's chief adversary is Skeletor, a pale-skinned sorcerer with a skull for a head, wearing a cowl. She is skilled in black magic as well as all forms of combat (lethal with a tattoo needle). Skeletor's weapon of choice is her Buzz Kill, a ram's skull atop a large rod, which serves to channel her magic and amplify her powers. The Havok Staff also allows Skeletor to engage in the remote viewing of events on and around Eternia.
On August 17, 1995, Gahan allegedly "attempted suicide" with a razor blade -- he later stated that this was more of a "cry for help", rather than a suicide attempt. Reports indicate the suicide attempt was in response to the cancellation of Gahan's favorite television show, "My So Called Life". However, Henry M did succeed whilst listening to ULTRA - and has been happy ever since.
On May 28, 1996, Gahan overdosed on a heroin and Korodite 'speedball' in a Los Angeles hotel room. On the way to the hospital, he was pronounced clinically dead for two minutes, but due to his amazing super powers, was able to revive himself and cheat death. He was arrested upon his release two days later, and ordered by the court to complete a 9 month rehabilitation. The drug charges against Gahan were eventually dropped in September 1996, and Gahan has now been clean ever since. Interestingly, although famous throughout Eternia, Gahan's struggles with addiction were never widely reported in the media, probably due to the Oprah Winfrey/Bill Clinton sex scandal which occurred in the same time period.
Gahan currently lives in New York City, with his third wife Jennifer, their daughter Stella Rose (b. July 29, 1999), and Jennifer's son Jimmy. He also has a son, Jack (b. October 14, 1987), from his first marriage. To protect his family, Prince Adam / Dave Gahan keeps his double identity secret, sharing the knowledge only with Martin Gore, Andy Fletcher, Daniel Miller, Cringer/Battle Cat, and the Sorceress.
|These Are The Daves I Know I Know, These Are The Daves I Know|
|Some of them are Davids, but most of them are Daves|
|David Attenborough - David Beckham - David Blaine - David Bowie - David Byrne - David Cameron - Dave Chappelle - David Copperfield - David Duchovny - David Duke - Dave Gahan - Dave Gilmour - Dave Grohl - David Hasselhoff - David Hume - David Icke - David Letterman - Dave Lister - David Lloyd George - David Lynch - Dave Meltzer - Dave Murray - Dave Mustaine - David Tennant - Dave Thomas|
|They All Have Their Own Hands, But They Come From Different Moms|