Dave Evans

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Dave Evans is considered by many people to be the world's most fantastic singer. His voice is so angelic it makes the angels and even God himself proud. He has sang at many a bar and calmed many biker gangs. He has considered himself to be the "King of All Badasses." This has hurt the nation of Badassia, mainly because real Badasses and Dave Evans's "Badasses" are nothing alike.

edit AC/DC Days

He was the original singer of the band AC/DC, but AC/DC sucked to much to have a voice that good and he soon left to pursue further career opportunities. He recorded at least five songs with AC/DC, including "Can I Shit On Your Face Girl", "Fucking In The Parlour", "Baby, Please Fuck Me", "Soul Saver", and "Pornographic Swinger". The only two songs from these sessions to survive the drop of Evans were "Can I Shit On Your Face Girl" and "Fucking In The Parlour". The other songs were re-written by Bon Scott when he joined the band and appeared as "Baby, Please Don't Go", "Soul Stipper", and "Rock 'n' Roll Singer". Dave Evans, after hearing these versions of the songs, punched a million babies so hard they started crying, hence the second 40 day flood that Noah only had two hours to prepare for.

edit After AC/DC, but before Hell"

He had small success with the bands Rabbit, and Thunder Down Under, but nothing much, since both bands sucked and didn't fit in with Dave's greatness. After meeting Bon Scott he was inspired to write the song "Too Much Rock & Roll", which would be the title of Rabbit's last album before they broke up and Dave Evans moved on to bigger and better things. He met Bon Scott again in 1979, and being so mad he put a curse on him, the curse was also put on Clash, which led to Clash's murder of Bon, and demise. Dave Evans has been running from God since then.

edit Back to the past, still here though

He recently paid tribute to AC/DC's most popular singer Bon Scott in 2000 by holding a concert and retooling some of AC/DC's songs to pristeen condition. He had the Melbourne Symphony Orchestra conducted by AC/DC tribute band Thunderstruck and played the two songs he recorded and released, two songs he did with AC/DC live in 1974, and four songs from the cursed Bon Scott era, and even refused to admit to the crowd that Higway To Hell was indeed Bon's epitaph, and that he was scared to death that Bon was gonna come back and kill him for defiling the name of AC/DC.

edit Rendez-vous with Tenacious D

He has an album out called "Sinner" with a track called "Sold My Soul To Rock And Roll", which was a true story of his 2002 excapades in which he, along with Tenacious D, sold themselves to the devil to gain a hit song, Tenacious D won the battle and gained the PICK OF DESTINY and Dave Evans got the bum end of the deal, as he always does, since he is just too good. Although the devil thinks he is the worst singer ever, since his voice is too angelic and god-like to be appealing to true rock and rollers.

edit AC/DC's future album?

Talks have been in place with Melbourne record labels and Alberts Productions to release some more of AC/DC's unreleased garbage, stuff that sounds worse than "Porn's Balls" from AC/DC's 1985 release "Shake Your Fondue". Some of these tracks may possible include the unreleased Dave Evans sessions and the Accept cover "I'm A Rebel". Of course Dave Evans, upon hearing this, put a curse on all of AC/DC's past and present labels to avoid the release of any new AC/DC material, the curse has appeared to work since Angus Young recently broke his leg while on tour and had to stop touring to let it heal. Also Malcolm Young has claimed they have been unable to enter a studio, due to a sick feeling whenever he goes to play guitar. Dave to this day denies these allegations, although we know he really killed Bon Scott and is plotting to kill Malcolm, Angus, and Phil. He leaves Cliff and Brian alone since they are too good to be affected by his curse.

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