Darth Vader is Luke's father

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Darth Vader is Luke's father!!! No, really, he is!! Oh wait, you knew that already? How? Did you see that movie? What, it's in every Star Wars movie? Oh. What do you mean you were born after 1970, and everybody knows that before they see it? Oh. So you mean, it's not a surprise? Oh.

edit Darth Vader is Luke's father Episode 1

Well, he is. That's why they have the same last name. It figures, right. Apparently in that galaxy, people don't change their name if they are hiding from the most powerful military leader in the entire galaxy.

edit Darth Vader is Luke's father Episode 2

Ok, well, guess we did cover that in the last movie. Now we just need to make 4 more movies just to reiterate that, just so that discarded candy wrappers on the island of Ceylon know it as well.

edit Darth Vader is Luke's father Episode 3

Sorry, sorry, just wanted to mention this as it will come in handy for one or two scenes we still have to shoot. Also, we do need to make sure that you see the next one, so just making sure that you do know about this.

edit Darth Vader is Luke's father Episode 4

well, technically in this movie, which is actually rather minor, he is actually not specified as Luke's father. however, that's because we are trying to keep it a secret. as is Obiwan. although not, you know, really.

edit Darth Vader is Luke's father Episode 5

BLAM!!! see? VAder says so himself! he is! didn't see that coming!! did you? what? oh, you already saw epsiode 3? oh.

Well also, see, we did not quite cover how Yoda would say this, yet. So that's why we needed another instalment in this series, just to really give this idea a good thorough wash-down and a nice run through Bletchley Park, there's a good boy.

edit Darth Vader is Luke's father Episode 6

see? just like we've been telling you all along!! see, that's why he couldn't throw him down a shaft when the Emperor asked him! makes sense, right? what kind of father would do a thing like that?

well, as you can guess, now that we've established that, the Ewoks can go on to win a great victory, based on all the general sense of Darth-Vader-being-Luke's-Father-ness and what-not.

edit Darth Vader is Kylo Ren's grandfather episode 7

See? Star Wars 7 does have some new ideas!!

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