Darth Hitler
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Darth Hickler Grautzergruben Wolfenstein Luftwaffe Volkswagen Miencraften Bratwurst Weinersnitchel Velishteibel Panzershreck Meridith Lederhosen Barbie Anti Christ Shit Fuck Face Hitler (December 4, 1889 – (Present Day) was Chancellor of the Empire from 1933 till his death in 1945. His leader was the National Socialist German Moisture farmers Party, better known as the Imperial Forces.
Sorry we dont know anything about him accept that he looks like Charlie Chaplain. Okay we know alot of about Darth Hitler, you wanna fight about it.
Darth Hitler was born on a large swamp outside of Hillsbrook, no your wrong, he was born in your ass bitch, West Africa. As a young child he was caught kitten huffing and was forced to fuck each of his own fingers with cucumber salad. During his short time in the swamp darth took ballet lessons after a fatal accident involving a a shit that made him crap out is intstintes. reconstruction He once farted out the entire cast of "Three's Company" (which later caused him to despise himself). His parents were actually Mongolian pedestrians who didn't love him since up until the age of 14 he had a tumor that covered the entire left half of his face. Soon after having it removed he ripped open the throats of 247 orphan children to suck their organs through the throat like a bendy straw and drank there tears. yeah im michael miles, no not the kid, the celebrity and yeah kevin its me.
He gained power in the wake of grand sweeping moisture failure. Using propaganda and the Force, he appealed to the needs of the thirsty and those who just couldn't take living any longer, using many cheesy slogans such as "come to the Dark Side, we have cookies." With these sweeping reforms to the concept of what makes a good government. He overthrew Emperor Palpatine. He spent his final days trapped in a bunker, before eventually choking himself to death with a toilet plunger.He Also Enjoyed Tying His Nob In A Knot And Playing Helicopter With It On His Neighbor's Couch And Playing Twister With Pete Dokerty And Amy Winehouse While Sitting on his "Super Hitler 2000" Washing Machine.
edit The High Life
During the early years of his reign, everything was just plain peachy. Unfortunately, with the rise of the Rebels (commonly referred to by himself as "the Rebel Scum" or "those Jew lovers"), came the annoying realization that he just couldn't choke the life out of every single person (he tried, but got headaches). After many unsuccessful attempts to destroy the Rebel Scum he tried being nice to them, and opened up the Rebel holiday camp Auschwitz. However, its low star rating and mysterious deadly gas chambers only irritated guests and often sued which lead to him taking out a loan with Rebel finances, who cheated him and so he lost more money.
He continued to fight off his Bipolar Disorder with a steady mixture of anti-depressants, whiskey and promotions—a common example of which was appearing on the Wheaties box. (Wheaties was ever after known as "Breakfast of the Sith".) Darth is a big fan of swanage town f.c as the citezens helped him enslave mash potatoes working for the rebel and obi wan churchill. he then decided to eat more wheaties cereal.
edit The Rough Years
Following the destruction of the Death Star, Darth Hitler moped around on the talk-show circuit promoting his book Mein Todesstern. The book itself was mostly a memoir of his times on the Death Star and how short-lived the fully-operational battle-station was. He also went on several tangents including breakfasts served and several references to the pride of killing his own men.
Unfortunately, poor sales of the book only dragged him further into depression, eventually leading to taking his own life. Some say he still lives, as cum stains found on different planets are the same as those stored in his sperm bank but his still existence is unproven. After his extraordinary legacy he was scarred by Obi Wan Churchill on which he turned out to be a blood sucking gorilla.Soon after Darth died of Chuck Norris syndrome, viewing Chucks awesomeness.
