Daniel Brandt/Main

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

< Daniel Brandt(Difference between revisions)
Jump to: navigation, search
m (Reverted edit(s) of 174.144.61.215 (talk) to last version by Fnoodle)
 
Line 1: Line 1:
[[Image:Youradd.jpg|center|Go eat shit Wikia!]]
+
<!-- ---------- BEGINNING OF HEADER SECTION --------------------------- -->{|style="width:100%;margin-top:+.7em;background-color:#fcfcfc;border:1px solid #ccc"
[[Image:Youradd.jpg|center|Go eat shit Wikia!]]
+
|style="width:56%;color:#000"|
  +
{|style="width:75%;border:solid 0px;background:none"
  +
|-
  +
|style="width:75%;text-align:center;color:#000" |
  +
<h1 style="font-size:162%;border:none;margin: 0;padding:.1em;color:#000">Welcome to [[Britney Spears|Brandtopedia]],</h1>
  +
<div style="top:+0.2em;font-size: 95%">the [[Existentialism|non-existent]] encyclopedia that [[Everyone else|anyone]] who doesn't mind having their real identity compromised can [[Random Insanity|edit]].</div>
  +
<div id="articlecount" style="width:100%;text-align:center;font-size:85%;">[[Special:Statistics|{{NUMBEROFARTICLES}}]] outings in English</div>
  +
|-
  +
|}<!-- ----------Portals Follow---------------------------- -->
  +
|style="width:11%;font-size:95%" class="nounderlinelink"|
  +
*[[Daniel Brandt (True Version)|The Truth]]
  +
*[[Daniel Brandt (non-person)|The ''Real'' Truth]]
  +
*[[Daniel Brandt (video game)|Computers]]
  +
|style="width:11%;font-size:95%" class="nounderlinelink"|
  +
*[[Special:Listadmins|Targets]]
  +
*[[:Category:Wikipedians|Non-People]]
  +
*[[Scientology|Religion]]
  +
|style="width:11%;font-size:95%" class="nounderlinelink"|
  +
*[[MediaWiki:Privacy|Accountability]]
  +
*[[Planet Google|Astronomy]]
  +
*'''[[Uncyclopedia:Browse|All]]'''
  +
  +
|}
  +
<!-- -------End Portals----- -->
  +
{|style="width:100%; background-color: transparent; margin-top:.8em; margin-bottom:.7em"
  +
|style="font-size:90%; white-space: nowrap; text-align:left"|
  +
|width="100%" colspan="2" class="MainPageBG" style="border:1px solid #ddcef2; background-color:#ffcc22; vertical-align:top;"|
  +
  +
{|style="width:100%; background-color: transparent; margin-top:-.8em; margin-bottom:-.7em"
  +
|style="font-size:95%; white-space: nowrap; text-align:left;"|
  +
<span class="plainlinks">'''[http://www.wikipedia-watch.org Beginner's Guide] &middot; [http://www.wikipedia-watch.org/hive2.html The Big Hive] &middot; [http://www.wikipedia-watch.org/vandals.html Style] &middot; [http://www.wikipedia-watch.org/staffww.html Questions] &middot; [http://www.wikipedia-watch.org/gifs/jimbo3.gif Help] &middot; [http://www.networkforgood.org/donate/ Donations]</span>
  +
|style="font-size:95%; padding-top:10px; padding-bottom:10px; white-space: nowrap; margin:0px; text-align:right"|
  +
[[:Category:Categories|Categories]] '''&middot;''' [[:Category:Wiki|Featured content]] '''&middot;''' [[Special:Allpages|A&ndash;Z index]]
  +
|}
  +
  +
<!-- ---------- END OF HEADER SECTION / BEGINNING OF MAIN TABLE AND LEFT-COLUMN ------------------ -->
  +
{| style="border-spacing:8px;margin:0px -8px"
  +
|width="55%" class="MainPageBG" style="border:1px solid #cef2e0; background-color:#f2fff9; vertical-align:top;"|
  +
{| width="100%" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="5" style="vertical-align:top; background-color:#f2fff9;"
  +
! <h2 style="margin:0;background-color:#cef2e0;font-family:sans-serif;font-size:120%;font-weight:bold;border:1px solid #a3bfb1;text-align:left;color:#000;padding:0.2em 0.4em;"> Today's featured privacy issue</h2>
  +
|-
  +
|<div style="float:left;margin-left:1em;margin-right:1em;margin-bottom:0px;padding: 0em 0em 0em 0em !important;">{{FeatArticleImg|Blankawooga.jpg|100}}</div>
  +
__NOTOC__ __NOEDITSECTION__
  +
One of Wikipedia's most reviled administrators, '''[[User:Jimbo Wales|User:OneOfWikipedia'sMostReviledAdmins]]''' is none other than [[Fox News]] "personality" '''[[Sean Hannity]].''' Sean began editing Wikipedia last week, and immediately undertook to insult as many Scientologists, heterosexuals, and accountability advocates as he could find. Within a mere six hours, he had impressed the [[Wikithug]]s in charge to such a degree that they gave him '''complete control over all of Wikipedia's editorial content,''' as well as "Steward" status, which allowed him to immediately demote all of the other administrators to "pathetic [[n00b]]" status, while he proceeded to delete everything on the site related to liberalism, humanitarianism, or any other uses of the human [[brain]].
  +
  +
Within 30 minutes, Hannity had essentially turned Wikipedia into a mirror of "Fox News Online," complete with several fawning articles covering what U.S. President [[George W. Bush]] had worn to the golf course that weekend. Which, as it turned out, was a comfortable, yet easy-care polyester-cotton blend polo emblazoned with the Bush family crest, along with a pair of neatly-pressed slacks purchased from Neiman-Marcus for an astoundingly low price of just... '''[[Sean Hannity|(continued...)]]'''
  +
  +
Recently featured: [[See Dick|Dick Cheney]] - [[John Seigenthaler Sr.]] - [[Brian Chase]]
  +
<div align="right" class="noprint">
  +
'''[[Uncyclopedia:Best of|Archive]]''' &ndash; '''[[Uncyclopedia:VFH|Vote for featured outing]]'''
  +
</div>
  +
|-
  +
! <h2 style="margin:0;background:#cef2e0;font-family:sans-serif;font-size:120%;font-weight:bold;border:1px solid #a3bfb1;text-align:left;color:#000;padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Did you know that in real life...</h2>
  +
|-
  +
|
  +
* [[Captain Obvious]] says I hate those Wikipedian commie morons? Its true! I mean, they want people to know stuff for free! This is an outrage! I'll set up a website against the whole thing...
  +
* [[I Can't Believe it's Not Murder|User:PsychoticMassMurderer]] is actually '''Morton Finkelstein''' of Sandusky, Ohio, a man who once misused serial commas twice in the same sentence?
  +
* Brandt was called an "It" on January 3rd, 2006 at 13:01pm and 3.412212111 seconds; an obvious breach of all known human rights known to any carbon-based lifeforms?
  +
* [[Troll|User:NeoNaziTrollWithBadBreath]] is actually '''[[you]],''' since you're a neo-Nazi troll with bad breath?
  +
* I'm watching you from behind the refrigerator? I'm really skinny, you see.
  +
* [[George W. Bush|User:George W. Bush]] is ''not'' actually President '''George W. Bush''' at all, but rather an extremely clever impostor?
  +
* [[User:Some user]] is actually ''still at large?''
  +
* Some '''[[people]]''' actually do [[Everybody cares|prefer]] not to have personal details about themselves published on major websites?
  +
* Except for [[Plushies|Furries]], who essentially have no shame whatsoever?
  +
<div align="right" class="noprint">
  +
'''[[Identity Theft|Archive]]''' &ndash; '''[[Talk:Identity Theft|Suggest new entries]]'''
  +
</div>
  +
|-
  +
|}
  +
<!-- -------------------- START OF RIGHT-COLUMN ---------------------------------- -->
  +
|width="45%" class="MainPageBG" style="border:1px solid #cedff2; background-color:#f2f8ff; vertical-align:top;"|
  +
{| width="100%" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="5" style="vertical-align:top; background-color:#f2f8ff;"
  +
<!--! style="background-color:#cedff2; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size:120%; border:1px solid #a3b0bf; text-align:left" | Insult of the Day
  +
|-
  +
|<center><span style="font-size:130%;font-weight:bold" class="plainlinks">[[KOOK]]</span><br />''Try to use it in your next article.<br>Offensiveness is power.''</center>
  +
|--->
  +
! <h2 style="margin:0;background-color:#cedff2;font-family:sans-serif;font-size:120%;font-weight:bold;border:1px solid #a3b0bf;text-align:left;color:#000;padding:0.2em 0.4em;"><span class="plainlinks">[http://news.google.com/news?hl=en&ned=us&ie=UTF-8&q=%22privacy+issues+involving+google%22&btnG=Search+News Google News]</span></h2>
  +
|-
  +
|
  +
* '''[[George W. Bush|President Bush]]''' signs the Violence Against Women and Department of Justice Reauthorization Act, which in effect states, ''"Screw You, Wikipedia."''
  +
* '''[[Enron|Kenneth Lay]]''' dies, commits suicide, has a heart attack, dies again, and finally has a suicidal heart attack due to his having died of supreme, ultimate [[happiness]] over having made so much money by stealing from [[you|middle-class working stiffs]].
  +
* '''[[Jimbo Wales]]''' launches another pointless, meaningless tirade about free speech, but [[nobody cares]].
  +
* '''[[Google]]''' unveils a new feature, "Google Harassment," which gives internet users access to stalking and harassment links directly from the [[Google Toolbar]].
  +
* The '''[[Supreme Court of the United States]]''' refuses for the 13,237th time to hear the case of ''Brandt vs. World.'' Brandt vows to "try again next month."
  +
* The '''[[United States Congress]]''' once again refuses to acknowlege the existence of [[Wikipedia]], referring to the entire internet simply as "a series of boobs shaped like tubes."
  +
  +
|-
  +
! <h2 style="margin:0;background:#cedff2;font-family:sans-serif;font-size:120%;font-weight:bold;border:1px solid #a3b0bf;text-align:left;color:#000;padding:0.2em 0.4em;">On this day...</h2>
  +
|-
  +
|
  +
* [[1812]] - Americans witness the first Invasion of Privacy when British troops invade Privacy, Maryland on their way to burn down [[Washington, DC]].
  +
* [[1861]] - [[Civil War]] breaks out between Northern Wikipedians and Southern Wikipedians over the issue of Mind-Slavery. The North wishes to end Mind-Slavery, but the South crushes the North and assimilates all 14 unbanned survivors.
  +
* [[1899]] - First appearance of '''Krazy Kat''' in a sentence.
  +
* [[1917]] - [[Jimmy Durante]] leads US and British forces to victory against the Germans in the '''Battle of the Bored.'''
  +
* [[1999]] - [[Wikipedia]] appears for the first time in a gas-station bathroom outside of [[Cincinnati, Ohio]]. The first 100 people who pee in it are immediately sysopped.
  +
* [[2005]] - "The Wikipedia Hive Mind" is first posted on the World Wide Web. Wikipedians unanimously deny the site's notability in their weekly newsletter, ''The Buzzzzz.''
  +
<div align="right" class="noprint">
  +
'''[[Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}}|More anniversaries...]]'''
  +
</div>
  +
|-
  +
|}
  +
|- <!-- -------------------- START OF FEATURED PICTURE TD ------------------------------ -->
  +
|width="100%" colspan="2" class="MainPageBG" style="border:1px solid #ddcef2; background-color:#f8f2ff; vertical-align:top;"|
  +
{| width="100%" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="5" style="vertical-align:top; background-color:#f8f2ff;"
  +
! <h2 style="margin:0;background:#ddcef2;font-family:sans-serif;font-size:120%;font-weight:bold;border:1px solid #a3b0bf;text-align:left;color:#000;padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Today's featured picture</h2>
  +
|-
  +
|{{FIimage|ThatsNoMoonThatsWikipedia.jpg|350px|DaMenace}}
  +
|-
  +
|}
  +
|- <!-- -------------------- Start of Recent Articles ------------------------------ -->
  +
|width="100%" colspan="2" class="MainPageBG" style="border:1px solid #ffc9c9; background-color:#fff3f3; vertical-align:top;"|
  +
{| width="100%" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="5" style="vertical-align:top; background-color:#fff3f3;"
  +
! <h2 style="margin:0;background:#F2CECE;font-family:sans-serif;font-size:120%;font-weight:bold;border:1px solid #a3b0bf;text-align:left;color:#000;padding:0.2em 0.4em;"><div class="plainlinks" style="float:right;margin-left:5px;margin-right:10px">''[{{SERVER}}{{localurl:Template:Recent|action=edit}} edit]''</div> Recent Articles</h2>
  +
|-
  +
|[[Pokemon|Bulbasaur Lives]] - [[Daniel Brandt (True Version)|Wikipedia-Approved Trashing]] - [[Daniel Brandt (non-person)|The Perplexing Problem of Human Existence]] - [[The Matrix (films)]] - [[Brian Peppers]] - [[Brian Chase]] - [[John Seigenthaler Sr.]] - [[Wikipoleonic Complex|Harassment]] - [[Self-aggrandizement]] - [[Attention Whore]] - [[Everybody cares]]
  +
'''[[Special:Newpages|More recent articles]]''' |
  +
'''[[Special:Wantedpages|Most wanted pages]]''' |
  +
'''[[:Category:Rewrite|Requested rewrites]]''' |
  +
'''[[:Category:Stub|Add to stubs]]''' |
  +
'''[[Special:Lonelypages|Lonely pages]]''' |
  +
'''[[Uncyclopedia:Pee Review|Pee Review]]''' |
  +
'''[[Uncyclopedia:Requested Articles|Try writing about...]]'''
  +
|-
  +
|}
  +
|- <!-- -------------------- Start of Awards ------------------------------ -->
  +
|width="100%" colspan="2" class="MainPageBG" style="border:1px solid #c9c9c9; background-color:#FFFFF2; vertical-align:top;"|
  +
{| width="100%" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="5" style="vertical-align:top; background-color:#FFFFF2;"
  +
! <h2 style="margin:0;background:#F2F2CE;font-family:sans-serif;font-size:120%;font-weight:bold;border:1px solid #a3b0bf;text-align:left;color:#000;padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Privacy Violator of the Month</h2>
  +
|-
  +
|
  +
{|width="100%"
  +
|style="border: 0px solid #ffffdf; padding: 0em 0em 0; background-color: #FFFFF2;"|
  +
[[Image:Wotm.jpg|left|70px]]
  +
This month's Privacy Violator of the Month has been '''cancelled.''' Please check back again next month. ''Somebody'' has to be out there, violating peoples' privacy... but ''who could it be?''
  +
|}
  +
|-
  +
|}
  +
|}
  +
::<br><br><center>Protected by [[Help:Fair Use|the Unfair Use Clause]]</center>
  +
[[Category: Wiki parodies]]
  +
|}
  +
<center>{{Daniel Brandt}}</center>

Latest revision as of 10:00, October 24, 2008

Welcome to Brandtopedia,

the non-existent encyclopedia that anyone who doesn't mind having their real identity compromised can edit.
30,662 outings in English

Beginner's Guide · The Big Hive · Style · Questions · Help · Donations

Categories · Featured content · A–Z index

Today's featured privacy issue

Blankawooga

One of Wikipedia's most reviled administrators, User:OneOfWikipedia'sMostReviledAdmins is none other than Fox News "personality" Sean Hannity. Sean began editing Wikipedia last week, and immediately undertook to insult as many Scientologists, heterosexuals, and accountability advocates as he could find. Within a mere six hours, he had impressed the Wikithugs in charge to such a degree that they gave him complete control over all of Wikipedia's editorial content, as well as "Steward" status, which allowed him to immediately demote all of the other administrators to "pathetic n00b" status, while he proceeded to delete everything on the site related to liberalism, humanitarianism, or any other uses of the human brain.

Within 30 minutes, Hannity had essentially turned Wikipedia into a mirror of "Fox News Online," complete with several fawning articles covering what U.S. President George W. Bush had worn to the golf course that weekend. Which, as it turned out, was a comfortable, yet easy-care polyester-cotton blend polo emblazoned with the Bush family crest, along with a pair of neatly-pressed slacks purchased from Neiman-Marcus for an astoundingly low price of just... (continued...)

Recently featured: Dick Cheney - John Seigenthaler Sr. - Brian Chase

Did you know that in real life...

  • Captain Obvious says I hate those Wikipedian commie morons? Its true! I mean, they want people to know stuff for free! This is an outrage! I'll set up a website against the whole thing...
  • User:PsychoticMassMurderer is actually Morton Finkelstein of Sandusky, Ohio, a man who once misused serial commas twice in the same sentence?
  • Brandt was called an "It" on January 3rd, 2006 at 13:01pm and 3.412212111 seconds; an obvious breach of all known human rights known to any carbon-based lifeforms?
  • User:NeoNaziTrollWithBadBreath is actually you, since you're a neo-Nazi troll with bad breath?
  • I'm watching you from behind the refrigerator? I'm really skinny, you see.
  • User:George W. Bush is not actually President George W. Bush at all, but rather an extremely clever impostor?
  • User:Some user is actually still at large?
  • Some people actually do prefer not to have personal details about themselves published on major websites?
  • Except for Furries, who essentially have no shame whatsoever?

Google News

  • President Bush signs the Violence Against Women and Department of Justice Reauthorization Act, which in effect states, "Screw You, Wikipedia."
  • Kenneth Lay dies, commits suicide, has a heart attack, dies again, and finally has a suicidal heart attack due to his having died of supreme, ultimate happiness over having made so much money by stealing from middle-class working stiffs.
  • Jimbo Wales launches another pointless, meaningless tirade about free speech, but nobody cares.
  • Google unveils a new feature, "Google Harassment," which gives internet users access to stalking and harassment links directly from the Google Toolbar.
  • The Supreme Court of the United States refuses for the 13,237th time to hear the case of Brandt vs. World. Brandt vows to "try again next month."
  • The United States Congress once again refuses to acknowlege the existence of Wikipedia, referring to the entire internet simply as "a series of boobs shaped like tubes."

On this day...

  • 1812 - Americans witness the first Invasion of Privacy when British troops invade Privacy, Maryland on their way to burn down Washington, DC.
  • 1861 - Civil War breaks out between Northern Wikipedians and Southern Wikipedians over the issue of Mind-Slavery. The North wishes to end Mind-Slavery, but the South crushes the North and assimilates all 14 unbanned survivors.
  • 1899 - First appearance of Krazy Kat in a sentence.
  • 1917 - Jimmy Durante leads US and British forces to victory against the Germans in the Battle of the Bored.
  • 1999 - Wikipedia appears for the first time in a gas-station bathroom outside of Cincinnati, Ohio. The first 100 people who pee in it are immediately sysopped.
  • 2005 - "The Wikipedia Hive Mind" is first posted on the World Wide Web. Wikipedians unanimously deny the site's notability in their weekly newsletter, The Buzzzzz.

Today's featured picture

ThatsNoMoonThatsWikipedia

Template:FI/ThatsNoMoonThatsWikipedia.jpg

Image Credit: DaMenace
Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images

Recent Articles

Bulbasaur Lives - Wikipedia-Approved Trashing - The Perplexing Problem of Human Existence - The Matrix (films) - Brian Peppers - Brian Chase - John Seigenthaler Sr. - Harassment - Self-aggrandizement - Attention Whore - Everybody cares

More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about...

Privacy Violator of the Month

Wotm

This month's Privacy Violator of the Month has been cancelled. Please check back again next month. Somebody has to be out there, violating peoples' privacy... but who could it be?



Protected by the Unfair Use Clause
v  d  e
Part of the Daniel Brandt Series
Wikipersecution Complex, Daniel Brandt (True Version), Brandtopedia, Daniel Brandt (non-person), Daniel Brandt (video game)
Personal tools
projects