Daft Punk

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Daft Punk

the Half-Frenchies and Left Hand(s) Of God

Daft Punk are half-French, half-robot, half-human, and the official Left Hand(s) of God. (Along with Freddie Mercury.)

Overview

Daft Punk consists of two human-like robots who are in denial, and constantly try to convince the world that they are actually humans. They are known for teaching humans what music is, and have been present on Earth since the early middle ages. Recently, they have become more famous for their 2013 song about robbing Mexican monkeys. Despite being robots, they need to eat, and it is a widely known fact that they eat only bread (baguettes being their bread of choice) and pancakes. Beginning in the mid-late 1990s, Daft Punk began to play music at clubs wearing human costumes in a last-ditch attempt to prove they are humans, but in 1999 they gave up all together, and have openly appeared as their true robot selves ever since. Aside from making the most best music of all, the robots like to make videos. In true pyromaniac fashion, everything in their videos is burned, even themselves. Most recently they burned down the Smithsonian Museum of American History for their music video Instant Crush.

Formation

The origins of Daft Punk are shrouded in mystery, they were conceived as robots, but their dream to be real really hip suburban white boys from France came true. The two eventually decided to put their foremost skill to good use, namely, their extensive knowledge of obscure Motown-funk songs that are quite good, but have some good stuff that could be re-worked a bit to become the best song ever. Their style became even more commercialized in order to pay for batteries since their accident when they became cyborgs again (see Identities).

Their first attempt at a band was the Led Zeppelin cover band Oh Darlin, Darlin' Darlin' Darlin' Walk a While With Me, which was reviewed by one critic as "symbolizing every conceivable reason to arrange a fix-up between your tape player and a 12-gauge."This band however, did release one hit single; "Cindy So Loud" which quickly rose to the top of the charts and was loved by millions. While Tommy Tommy Bang Bang quit the band to compose the album Irrevocable with the sound chip from his old NES system, The Count of Monte Christo was cast in a number of low-budget swashbuckler movies to earn money. One of the scripts required a villain address The Count as a "daft punk". The Count immediately called his friend to tell him he'd finally discovered the band name that would allow fans to tell each other very long stories of how the band's name was created.

Start of their career

Armed with only three turntables, four analog synthesizers, and frequent refills of coffee supplied by Tommy's mother machine, the two composed the album Homework while in a shared bedroom, testing each other on their knowledge of obscure funk bands. The band recorded police sirens from responses to domestic abuse calls from the apartment downstairs, and the waves on the track Fresh by flooding the bathroom on eight occasions and overdubbing them. The screams on Rolling & Scratching were created by Tommy taking a vibrating neck massager and jabbing it between The Count's legs.

The final product got the two an A- on their group project, and catapulted them into cult superstars of the French Techno Underground. Subsequent albums, including Disco? Actually, Kind Of, Hadn't Thought About That and Human After All, Then Again, Not So Much, Really earned the group further fame and fortune.

Identities

PunkPants01

Irish men called Paddy Power?

Daft Punk are known for their cutesy dress ups and hats. According to Tommy Tommy Bang Bang, their synthesizers exploded at 9:09 am on September 9, 1999. Then their doctor fucked up and made them robots. Tommy Tommy Bang Bang's helmet is silver and The Count's helmet is gold. Tommy is about 5 feet taller than his miniature bandmate, who is only two feet tall with shoes. Today, Daft Punk loves to cause the collisions of passerby's by blinding them with their increasingly shiny heads which are known to become 9.09x10^99 times shinier each year.

Both members of Daft Punk have high-level education. Tommy Tommy Bang Bang has a masters degree in lyric writing. The Count of Monte Christo has a bachelor of science in disappearing while in the presence of a camera. It is said that he trained for two years with ninjas to be able to completely disappear at the sight of a camera. The Count was on track for a second degree in hair styling with a minor in fashion, but never went to the required physical education class, instead choosing to scour the campus for every last baguette. In spite of not actually receiving the degree, he is known for always having salon quality hair and the freshest clothes on the block.


Lyrics

Daft Punk's repetitive lyrics have earned them universal acclaim. Director Pedro Almodovar has said, "Around the ninety-fifth time they said "Robot Rock", it clicked with me that this was a song about robots that rocked. Such a simplicity of message is something all artists should strive for."

Draft Punk's "Around The World", has some pretty interesting content as well, the words "Around the world" are repeated around 74 times. That is the whole song. But it might indeed have a deeper meaning. This has raised questions like "Are they going clockwise or anticlockwise around the world"? These questions are yet to be answered by the legendary French DJ's. (They probably don't care).

Alive 2007

Johnny-Hallyday

'Daft Punk, c'est merde!' The grandfather of French Rock passes judgement.

The duo returned to prominence with their 2007 live album Alive 2007, which immediately drew interest for its ground-breakingly original and thought-provoking title. The album was a recording of a concert in the Parisian catacombs, the city's undead turnout was reportedly 40,000, breaking records previously set by Queen + Paul Rodgers. Like the rest of the tour, Daft Punk's concert started with them finding two random homeless people and putting them into the group's trademark costumes and inside the giant pyramid. There, they pressed the play button on a CD player, setting off 97 backing tracks and a light show as the two homeless people pretended to be working the computers and samplers. In the meantime, the real Daft Punk would go off to a club and party and smoke pot as they made six-figure checks from concert tickets. The group repeated this tactic successfully for the entirety of the tour, with exactly zero Daft Punk fans becoming suspicious.

The tour allowed the group an opportunity to pay tribute to another beacon of childhood wonder, the movie Tron, with Daft Punk composing the score for an upcoming sequel. Tommy Tommy Bang Bang was reported to have suffered a light-cycle accident during filming. He was saved only by the song Aerodynamic playing on set, because he would not allow himself to die until the guitar solo was finished, allowing paramedics to get there in time, rush him to the E.R., and make a full recovery. The Count of Monte-Cristo has stated that the synth riffs for the soundtrack will be worsened for the movie because they were too cool, and star Jeff Bridges kept breaking into an awkward robot dance whenever he heard one.

Troll: Legacy

Troll: Legacy was in its early stages and the director didn't know what to do for music, and suddenly, BAM! Daft Punk drops from the heavens into a local L.A. Cafe where the team was meeting, The Director realized no one could understand a word they were saying so he hired them. Daft Punk worked with former Troll composer Wendy Carlos to spit out a bunch of "Biodigital Jazz, Man!" with songs as "Derezzed," which was extremely popular in the U.S. Daft Punk was actually featured in the movie as the Bitch Boy's DJ's at the End of Line club.

Criticism

Following the release of Digital Love, everyone accused them of ruining the lives of everyone, as it contained the lyrics Why don't you play The Game?

Tommy Tommy Bang Bang was criticized for his involvement in the movie Irreversible, for which he used earlier music. The movie, edited by someone who had just seen Memento, consists mostly of people being bludgeoned and assaulted with heavy objects while Bang plays different remixes of Crescendolls.

Spike Jonze, a frequent collaborator, has expressed misgivings over the music video for Technologic, claiming to know a bit more about the true nature of the little infant-robot thing than he would like to. His only remark on the matter was "Planned Parenthood and hardware stores... all that trash has to go somewhere..."

Daft Punk was accused for ruining the brains of the entire Jersey Shore cast because they tried to fist pump to "Around the World". The side effects turned them orange.

See also

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