Daft Punk

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Revision as of 04:06, July 18, 2013 by Qweer (talk | contribs)

Jump to: navigation, search
Whoops! Maybe you were looking for Taft Punk?
Daft Punk

the Half-Frenchies and Left Hand(s) Of God

Daft Punk are half-French, half-robot, half-human, and the official Left Hand(s) of God. (Along with Freddie Mercury.)


The origins of Daft Punk are shrouded in mystery, but you can tell they're probably the typical pair of hip suburban white boys from France. The two eventually decided to put their foremost skill to good use, namely, their extensive knowledge of obscure Motown-funk songs that are quite good, but have some good stuff that could be re-worked a bit to become the best song ever.

Their first attempt at a band was the Led Zeppelin cover band Oh Darlin, Darlin' Darlin' Darlin' Walk a While With Me, which was reviewed by one critic as "symbolizing every conceivable reason to arrange a fix-up between your tape player and a 12-gauge." While Tommy Tommy Bang Bang quit the band to compose the album Irrevocable with the sound chip from his old NES system, The Count of Monte Christo was cast in a number of low-budget swashbuckler movies to earn money. One of the scripts required a villain address The Count as a "daft punk". The Count immediately called his friend to tell him he'd finally discovered the band name that would allow fans to tell each other very long stories of how the band's name was created.

Start of their career

Armed with only three turntables, four analog synthesizers, and frequent refills of coffee supplied by Tommy's parents, the two composed the album Homework while in a shared bedroom, testing each other on their knowledge of obscure funk bands. The band recorded police sirens from responses to domestic abuse calls from the apartment downstairs, and the waves on the track Fresh by flooding the bathroom on eight occasions and overdubbing them. The screams on Rolling & Scratching were created by Tommy taking a vibrating neck massager and jabbing it between The Count's legs.

The final product got the two an A- on their group project, and catapulted them into cult superstars of the French Techno Underground. Subsequent albums, including Disco? Actually, Kind Of, Hadn't Thought About That and Human After All, Then Again, Not So Much, Really earned the group further fame and fortune.


Daft Punk are known for their cutesy dress ups and hats. According to Tommy Tommy Bang Bang, their synthesisers exploded at 9:09 am on September 9, 1999. Then their doctor fucked up and made them robots. Tommy Tommy Bang Bang's helmet is silver and The Count's helmet is gold.


Daft Punk's repetitive lyrics have earned them universal acclaim. Director Pedro Almodovar has said, "Around the ninety-fifth time they said "Robot Rock", it clicked with me that this was a song about robots that rocked. Such a simplicity of message is something all artists should strive for." Some have suggested that their style of ballad lyricism inspired Uncyclopedia to teach new writers the technique of the "humor of repetition."

Alive 2007


'Daft Punk, c'est merde!' The grandfather of French Rock passes judgement.

The duo returned to prominence with their 2007 live album Alive 2007, which immediately drew interest for its ground-breakingly original and thought-provoking title. The album was a recording of a concert in the Parisian catacombs, the city's undead turnout was reportedly 40,000, breaking records previously set by Queen + Paul Rodgers. Like the rest of the tour, Daft Punk's concert started with them finding two random homeless people and putting them into the group's trademark costumes and inside the giant pyramid. There, they pressed the play button on a CD player, setting off 97 backing tracks and a light show as the two homeless people pretended to be working the computers and samplers. In the meantime, the real Daft Punk would go off to a club and party and smoke pot as they made six-figure checks from concert tickets. The group repeated this tactic successfully for the entirety of the tour, with exactly zero Daft Punk fans becoming suspicious.

The tour allowed the group an opportunity to pay tribute to another beacon of childhood wonder, the movie Tron, with Daft Punk composing the score for an upcoming sequel. Tommy Tommy Bang Bang was reported to have suffered a light-cycle accident during filming. He was saved only by the song Aerodynamic playing on set, because he would not allow himself to die until the guitar solo was finished, allowing paramedics to get there in time, rush him to the E.R., and make a full recovery. The Count of Monte-Cristo has stated that the synth riffs for the soundtrack will be worsened for the movie because they were too cool, and star Jeff Bridges kept breaking into an awkward robot dance whenever he heard one.

Troll: Legacy

Troll: Legacy was in its early stages and the director didn't know what to do for music, and suddenly, BAM! Daft Punk drops from the heavens into a local L.A. Cafe where the team was meeting, The Director realized no one could understand a word they were saying so he hired them. Daft Punk worked with former Troll composer Wendy Carlos to spit out a bunch of "Biodigital Jazz, Man!" with songs as "Derezzed," which was extremely popular in the U.S. Daft Punk was actually featured in the movie as the Bitch Boy's DJ's at the End of Line club.

Random Access Computer In-Jokes

Random Access Murder was the third album made by Daft Punk, and was a welcome return after more than 9000 years of Daft-Punk-albumless dystopia. Random Access There's one bit of bowel-loosening noise here and that's it aims to take cues from every genre known to man, from dubstep to white noise to blues to incoherent noises that sound a bit like speech. The critical reception of Random Access Ok, I lied, there's actually a whole song of bowel-loosening noise was, on average, rather good, with critics liking it for being easy for people without ears to listen to. However, some fans thought it was bad, even liking it to the disliked Daft Punk album Discovery.


Following the release of Digital Love, everyone accused them of ruining the lives of everyone, as it contained the lyrics Why don't you play The Game?

Tommy Tommy Bang Bang was criticized for his involvement in the movie Irreversible, for which he used earlier music. The movie, edited by someone who had just seen Memento, consists mostly of people being bludgeoned and assaulted with heavy objects while Bangalter plays different remixes of Crescendolls.

Spike Jonze, a frequent collaborator, has expressed misgivings over the music video for Technologic, claiming to know a bit more about the true nature of the little infant-robot thing than he would like to. His only remark on the matter was "Planned Parenthood and hardware stores... all that trash has to go somewhere..."

Daft Punk was accused for ruining the brains of the entire Jersey Shore cast because they tried to fist pump to "Around the World". The side effects turned them orange.


1997 Homework

2001 Disco? Actually, Kind Of, Hadn't Thought About That

2001 Alive 1997

2005 Human After All, Then Again, Not So Much, Really

2006 Musique Vol. 1 - 1997-2005

2007 Alive 2007

2007 Kanye West - Stronger ("Collaboration")

2013 Get Lucky and 12 other songs ("Random Access Mammaries")


1998 Da Fuck?, Around The World, Revolution 909, Burnin', Fresh and Rollin' and Scratchin'

2001 Interstella 555

2005 Tech-no logic, Robot Rock, Robot Rock Maximum Overkill and Prime Time of Your Ability to Sleep

2007 Electrorama

2013 Everything but music videos

See also

Personal tools
In other languages