# Uncyclopedia:DYK submissions

Redirected from DYK

This is where you can submit Did You Know entries. List your submission(s) below, and if the admins decide it's worthwhile, it will be added to the main page template. You can sign your submissions if you want.

Q: Why is DYK locked?
A: Because when it was freely editable, the admins felt it was too funny and dangerous to the website's reputation.

Q: I thought this website hated lists.
A: Yes, but it hates vandalism more, and this page might keep you busy.

Q: When will my submission appear?
A: When an admin decides it's good enough for the front page. Making this decision is low priority for most admins. It may not be updated with new submissions frequently, and many entries will be deleted without making it to the main template. Here's how to maximise your chances:

1. Search the current DYKs and make sure yours isn't a repeat. No, "...that 75.8% of statistics are made up" won't cut it, sorry. You can press Ctrl+F to search some keywords.

Q: What is the template format?
A: All the DYKs are thrown into a blender using the <choose> tags. That means only a few DYKs, picked at random, appear on the front page each time you load it. So no, your little gift will not always come up. The reason we hate lists is that they (that is, you) tend to tell the same joke over and over again, and if your third copy is selected to be on the page, no one will ever know you really typed fifteen of them.

Q: What about "Do You Care"?
A: Do You Care entries are mainly for highlighting great past articles.

Q: May I begin, then?
A: If you must. Type your suggestion into Section 1. If you type it at the very end of the page, we'll know all we need to know about you.

## editDid You Know...

• Cheesus Crust said Steve Hawkins didn't make it to heaven cause he couldn't get up the stairs
• Dave Mattingley reported live from Washington
• Your Windows Computer is still updating
• the middle finger was originally devised as a penis substitute?
• That you're illitereyt
• That if pi is a number, it's not a square meal?
• That 7 actually ate 9 because you need 3 squared meals a day?
• That Amelia Earhart's last name should be pronounced 'EER-hart'; she only started saying it as 'AIR-hart' after she becaome a pilot?
• That contrary to the name, the London Underground is actually quite well known?
• That space is just a money-making scheme by NASA?
• ...And that the reason they tell you not to look at the sun is because if you look too long you'll realise it's just a giant lamp taped there?
• That if you feed a man a fish, he'll eat for a day, but if you feed a man TO a fish, you go to jail?
• That the number of users the admins have banned is considered the largest countable number since 1998?
• That Hydrox cookies were like Oreos, except they contained Clorox and Water?
• That Humpty-Dumpty was the very first Occupy Wall Street protester, before the stockbrokers pushed him off?
• That this site is basically dead anyway?
• That I put the "laughter" in "manslaughter"?
• That Red Bull does not actually give you wings?
• ...but that it does give you diabetes?
• That I'm gonna cut your heart out with a spoon?
• That Nick Clegg is sorry?
• That a fool and his money are soon parted
• That because salt is calorie-free, one could eat a solid block of it as a dieting aid?
• That Magic Missile is the only spell usable by anybody, even You?
• That the Toronto Maple Leafs' losing streak can be justified with the phrase: "Nice guys finish last"?
• That Richard the Lionheart of England had a "Richard the Lionheart" of his own?
• That most professional sports teams have more lawyers than players?
• That intelligence theft refers to the stealing of one's ideas, not his IQ points?
• That a sheepish grin makes you look exactly like a grinning sheep?
• That colourless is actually a valid colour, making 'colourless' very colourful?
• That Undertale is actually a genuinely good game?
• That Candy Crush Saga is the virtual version of pure cocaine?
• That slavery is the most efficient form of economics?
• That the chances of Eminem reading this are pretty slim?
• That on the nth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me a total of $\frac{1}{2}n^2+\frac{1}{2}n$ gifts?
• That those suspicious white stains on your professor's blazer are in fact mayonnaise?
• That the Google Street View car replace their cameras with potatoes once they enter the Connecticut border?
• That most people don't read directions and need an "example" to get them started?
• That rules exist inside and outside the mind, but an "example" is an intermediate? And this is an example of a rule and I am not a guru?
• That video killed JFK, and Lee Harvey Oswald killed the radio star?
• That the observer makes his own lists based on the lists of others? So lists learn from lists, like wise men learn off fools!
• That the Golden Gate Bridge was stolen by Canadian terrorists in 1949. Then due to airship problems it fell in Lake Michigan and was painted green under the new name "Mackinaw bridge".
• That without lists, we feel listless?
• That irony extends beyond the line and even the mind? How ironic.. But even more ironic is that "irony" does not appear in the Bible?
• That Dog is offended by this statement?
• That 9/11 might not have even happened if explosives hadn't been invented? But more to the point, if dates had not been invented?
• That being controversial is neither easier said nor done?
• That after the 2001 terrorist attacks, the "Freedom Fries" folks also boycotted Arabic numerals? This resulted in many IX/XI bumper stickers.
• That Antarctica is more of a circle and less of a line?
• That you're late for work?
• That while blackberries are actually purple, calling them purpleberries would be retarded?
• That the most effective way to cure depression is suicide?
• That flantastic is another way to say "this pudding is good" in Finnish?
• That Arceus is the true Lord and Saviour and not that fake 'Felix Hossil' or whatever he's called...
• That 100% percent of babies die at some point in their lives?
• That "Pendiente Perrocaliente" is Spanish for the man bitches are good?
• That you can't skip this GEICO ad, because it's already over?
• That 3/4 of people make up 75% of the worlds population?
• That moisturizer was a failed attempt at making human water-balloons?
• That turtles can run at top speeds of 87 miles per hour, but only in short bursts?
• That thanks to a transporter accident, the joke about suicide bombers' 72 virgins being Star Trek geeks is older than Islam?
• That dying to being dead constitutes death?
• That more people kill ebola than ebola kills people?
• That the inventor of the Nobel Prize invented the Nobel Prize so he could get a Nobel Prize for his invention of the Nobel Prize?
• That 3/4 of all the people make up 75% of the whole population on earth?
• That Kanye persuaded Kim Kardashian to make Mastercard famous?
• That along with "Mein Kampf", Adolf Hitler also released a slightly less popular book about his love of pottery. Named: "Mein Kraften"
• That this sentence was denied entry in the United States because it is on the run from ISIL?
• That no one ever reads these sentences all the way to the end, except for a select few, who have the diligence and patience, and are bored enough, to read to the very end of these very long, dull and uninteresting sentences?
• That I don't that you don't know that I don't know that you don't know nothing?
• That killing someone will result in someone dying?
• That people suffering from writer's block are usually very...
• That Tetris is generally considered to be the cause of the collapse of the USSR?
• That members of Flat Earth Society travel all around the world to promote their views?
• That Donald Drumpf drinks his covfefe with milk and sugar?
• That after breaking through the skin, drilling a hole in your head isn't so painful?
• That walking in the air will not make you fly in the moonlit sky?
• That you can't wear my sweatshirt? It's mine!
• That Cirno will always be the strongest, beating the nuclear raven.
• That the Roomba is a vacuum cleaner and not a cat vibrator?
• That the Earth is indeed hollow, but you might fall off the edge trying to find the entrance?
• That Tyrannosaurus Rex went extinct because it couldn't reach anything put on a top shelf?
• That broccoli is a hybrid made from from Isaac Brock of Modest Mouse and coliform bacteria?
• That if you stop on the haunted railroad grade crossing tracks in San Antonio, TX, ghostly hands will not push you off the tracks since you set the handbrake?
• That if you drive a VW Beetle backwards as fast as you can, not only will you find that Paul is dead, but you will be, too?
• That your laptop was stolen last night and you're staring at an empty table with people pointing at you?
• That if your are paranoid, you will never see anyone standing behind you, just out of the range of your vision?
• That virtual reality will soon allow you to read this in 3D?
• That if the entire human race linked arms around the Earth, most of the population would drown?
• That if your computer is slow you can hire people to make it faster through the power of giant hamster wheels?
• That all turtles smoke
• That electricity is blue and it hurts
• That if you kill yourself, you die
• That Microsoft Windows doesn't know how to count?
• That Your mom has at one point dated Your dad, which makes her Gay because he is a boy?
• That If Robert Plant heard Stairway To Heaven on the Radio, he would sing along? If Jimmy Page was there too, he'd play air guitar?

## editSuggested Images

Looking for an image to submit? Why not try looking on this list of orphaned images? Approved submissions will be listed here.