DVD
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
|  This article needs love | |
| This article is currently in a bad state, but all it needs is a little love. Please give some love by rewriting it. | ||
“Where wouldn't we be with DVD?”
~ Oscar Wilde on DVD
“This rental DVD must be way more damaged than it seems. Half of the VTS_01_1.VOB file is unreadable”
~ n00b attempting to copy a sony DVD with the use of antique software (and subsequently getting pwnd)
The DVD is an optical storage format that was primarily invented as a alternative to rubber-tire wheels during World War 2, it was later determined through Experimentation that the DVD could have the potential to prevent children from breathing.
Contents |
[edit] History
The DVD or Direct Vagianl Destruction, was invented on June 14th for the purpose of prividing somthing shinny to throw at small children by Nicholas Tesla in 1942, Edison then "Struck him about the head with a newspaper and took the invention for himself" this had begun the Format War's, as in a blind Rage Nicholas invented Blue_Ray. Unlike Tesla's version, Edison solely used newspaper for the purpose of recycling, which helped Nicholas to develope blue ray, as it was made of used condoms and Sandpaper, these materials where his orignal inspiration as his mothers juice was on the first used condom.
[edit] The 2nd and 3rd First DVD
The first modern DVD contained all information up to 1995. It was pretty big compared to like the commercial DVD's we have now, so only one was made. Scientists planned to send it back in time using a giant slingshot, however, later realized that such technology did not yet exist. This would have allowed our civilization to invent every possible invention virtually in an instant and nothing could possibly go wrong. The DVD containing all human knowledge is currently in a warehouse somewhere, (most likely area 41) waiting for a DVD containing all human knowledge from the future to be sent to us. Then we can send our DVD back in time. Some have theorized that such a futuristic DVD would simply be better off sent further into the past as we plan to do with our DVD. However, that would mean our DVD, which was ridiculously expensive, is just a big waste. So, unless humans in the future are as dickheaded as they are now, this shouldn't be a problem.
The first commercial DVD was invented in 1996 as a smaller version of the DVD containing all knowledge; the idea to shrink the DVD down to a more manageable size being related to the Edison DVD, and hence the carry over of the name. The commercial DVD was first used as practical storage for the Blondie comics and as an easy way to hide porn, just as edison had intended.
[edit] Modern Use
The modern DVD has been scaled down to a sensible size, and it can now hold 8GB of pirated movies, which is goody-goody hooray. Some overloaded DVDs are also known to hold 10GB, however these are considered unstable and may melt or fly through the air and cut your hands off. However, a top-secrect "Blue-ray" disc is said to be held in Area 51 and is heavily guarded by goombas and Bowser. This is the internet, so of course we know about it. Word has also leaked that it may hold up to 50GB, and the reason for that is to hopefully upload every bit of Hanna-Montanna material onto a single disc so that it can be safly contaid deep in the Asse II nuclear waste pit near Salzgitter,Germany.
[edit] Manufacture
Today, DVDs are created by using heavy metals retrieved from dead politicians and melted into discs, then polished and sent through a laser that etches the desired pirated content onto the disc. The disc is then sent to a packing station to be packaged by "the droids", then sent off by disgruntled UPS workers.
[edit] Other Meanings of DVD
- Dat Very Dumb!
- Donald von Duck
- Dangerous vats (of) Disaster!
- Dick Van Dyke
- Dirty Victorian Diaper
- Degenarative Vascular DoDad
[edit] Also on DVD
--Gyrojet 18:04, 18 February 2008 (UTC)
