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Yo' probably internally screamin' "BOO-YAH!" right now from just one look at 'im.

Cyborg is a character from DC Comics' Justice League franchise. He was introduced in 1980 as the first Black member o' the team an' as a way t' draw in female readership.


In the comics, Cyborg is described as a high school decathlon athlete an' football star born an' raised in South Detroit, constantly on the run from horny cheerleaders wantin' t' have his babies. Unfortunately, during one such occasion, he got into an accident an' almost died. Fortunately, his dad was there t' save 'im by replacin' his injured parts with experimental cybernetic technology, thereby castratin' 'im. When Cyborg woke up an' saw his new look, he was amazed and couldn't stop thankin' his dad, especially fo' cuttin' his dick off so he'd never have sex wit' anyone. However, he still wasn't safe from the sex-crazed cheerleaders, who thought he looked even sexier with his enhancements despite only havin' one human eye. This caused Cyborg t' run away an' join the Justice League; he was accepted as the team's technology expert, the youngest member, an' the Token Black Guy. Teenage girls wit' hormones bought the comics everywhere just so they could ogle Cyborg in his ill-fittin', thigh-high romper an' not care 'bout anythin' else goin' on in the comic.

Cyborg soon developed an obsession with Strawberry Shortcake an' tried t' hide it from the rest o' his teammates; however, this attempt failed miserably as Black Canary caught 'im red-handed playin' wit' his secret stash o' the scented dolls. This, combined wit' his revealin' outfit (meant t' be his "cybernetic enhancements") exposin' his pecs, made Cyborg target t' jokes 'bout bein' a sissy.

Sometime later, Cyborg went through puberty, which made his voice sound like that o' a senior citizen an' not a black teenage boy. He decided that since his costume made 'im look like a male stripper, he should go an' become one. He got a job at a Gotham City strip bar, strippin' for various thirsty women and gays, as well as perfomin' pole dances an' lap dances. Durin' this time, Cyborg made millions off these sexy-studded shows, even goin' into sexual activity wit' the customers, which led 'im t' be available for hire.

After somehow contractin' rampant headlice an' gettin' a short temper as it was makin' 'im itch, Cyborg quit his strippin' job, lost his hair, mellowed out an' changed his getup; now lookin' 90% machine an' 80% shoulder. Now lookin' like a cancer patient, Cyborg was forced t' become unemployed an' get fat, until 2003, when the Teen Titans found 'im an' added 'im t' their roster. After years of screamin' 'bout waffles an' shootin' a rocket from his shoe, Cyborg decided enough was enough an' quit the team. He got in shape, reducin' his shoulders back to normal, grew his hair back, an' rejoined the Justice League. He currently spends his days advocatin' Mega Man an' bein' part o' the vaporwave community (his producer alias STONE 1980.)

In 2013, Cyborg met his future husband Grid, a sentient cybernetic system designed by a death metal loving teenager. The two plan t' get married an' have a nice day someday. Also known 'bout Cyborg nowadays is that he's in a lifelong rivalry wit' Black Panther, an emo black kid in a leather jacket. In addition, Cyborg's goin' through anotha bout o' puberty, which is causin' 'im t' grow a slight mustache.

(Addendum: It's rumored that Gal Gadot's character shouted "CHRIST BABY OH GOD PUT IT IN" durin' the first take o' the scene in Justice League where she talks t' Cyborg, due to the appearance o' Cyborg in his sweatshirt turnin' her on greatly. Of course, this line bein' an ad-lib an' thus not in the script, it sadly wasn't included in the final cut released t' theaters.)