Cybering

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Cybering (also known as cyber sex) is when two (or more) people (or as of 2009, Xorbians) on the internet have sex by sending their actions to each other via instant message or other online chat, such as AIM, IRC, MSN.

It's a form of sexual role-play, which is when you act out via text. It's also the most common by far, surpassing quite a bit that D&D roleplay crap. 'Coz really, would you rather be hiding from orcs or bangin' with a chic who can describer herself as your fantasy babe?

edit Why normally sane people do this

  • Because they can't get laid in real life.
  • The significant other is in another location (probably banging someone else).
  • Fantasy fetishes. Things that would be impossible, impractical, or dangerous to actually do. Like real sex.
  • To be a whore, even when you're at home in your pajamas.
  • Because the other person won't think you're ugly if they never see what you really look like.
  • Because the internet was for that. That and porn.
  • Because you can be something you're not, such as an anthropromorphic animal (aka furry), or good looking.
  • Fear of people finding out that the person you are sexually attracted to is actually Quasimodo, or Richard Simmons
  • Its the safest form of Safe Sex, other than sex with a Volvo.

edit Beginner's Guide

Cybering is relatively simple, assuming that you're intelligent enough to figure out which hole it goes in in the first place. You just type out what you're doing, wait for a response, and then type out what you do after that, wait, and so on.

Taking turns and not butting in is important, unless you're doing a necrophile roleplay. Would be kind of pointless to wait a while just to hear "I'm lying there motionless and dead, just for you baby".

We'll not go into the rest. You should be smart enough to figure the rest out. Use your imagination.

edit Hidden Truths about Cybering

Even though there is no actual physical contact, researchers say that it is still possible for the "Electric Union" to result in Progeny. However, these children are a mutation of the Internet, and appear to be mentally retarded in speech. However, these creatures do have plans for universal domination outside of their own realm of the internet.

These creatures go by the name of Lolcats, and have been the subject of many government coverups over the past 20 years.

Another issue about cybering is that it contributes to spreading the sexually transmitted disease Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. This, oddly enough, is also associated with Lolcats possible attempt at world domination, due to its abbreviation of "Ca.T.S.".

edit Famous Cyberers

  • Bloodninja
  • You (I SAW YOUR AIM LOGS!!! FREAK!)
  • Tom Cruise
  • Your Mom
  • The guy next door
  • Half the people on MMO's.
  • the lonely ol' men in the night, with nothing to do
  • Who isn't?

edit Conclusion

Hold on, I'm busy with someone on AIM. I'll finish this when we're done, I promise.


the lonely people in the night. with nothing to do.

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