Curry
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One of the most widely used of the anti-aphrodisiacs, Curry is made by grinding the African vampire worm Curridus to a pulp, drying the remains and chopping them into a fine red or yellow powder. It is a poison used by Third World shamans in Central Europe to eliminate friends. It is supposed to be good with chips and a beer, though it tastes better on the way up than it did on the way down. Curry gets its pungent flavor from Flavor beans found far, far away in Parapa Palace. Defeat the Horseman who lives there and find a candle. Hot, Spicy, Tastes Great, and a former TNA Fired Champion, need we say more?
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[edit] History
While the real origins of curry remain unknown, it has been claimed that it was invented around the birth of Jesus by the three Wise Men, who bought gold, frankincense, and two Vindaloos with all the gubbins and a garlic Naan. This ensured that the baby Jesus's first night was comfy cosy, and redolent with the smell of vindafart, the true sign of maximum divinity. Since then, curry has been mentioned regularly in history for its ability to cure the common cold and tame wild geese, who find curry suppositories quite soothing. It is also the main food for the Khadri residence and can be found in most British homes, where it is the official National Dish. The atrocious smell can kill in extreme conditions. That's the smell of the curry, not the smell of the homes, although with some people it's difficult to tell.
[edit] Different Tastes
Curry is quite tasty, especially in comparison to the bland American "food". Dishes like chicken tikka masala were made for the white people in Britain while Indians were being ruled by the whites. It is foretold by prophet that this day shall once again be relived. Lianne is a great tasting curry. It is a type of cooking, which is exclusive. This curry has a habit of licking walls and furry road kill. It has 5 legs and 8 penises.
[edit] Curry in Britain
Curry, or Indian food in general, has been declared the National Dish of Great Britain, narrowly overtaking Crumpets, Fish and Chips, Class A Drugs and Kangaroo. It became popular due to large numbers of Indian immigrants, and celebrity chef Jamie Oliver's attempts to get it on the menu of national school dinners due to its high nutritional value and low calorie content. It is believed that curry was used to drive away peoples trying to conquer India, but it didn't work, as the British were attracted 7000 miles across the globe by its spicy aroma.
Traditionally young Britons of a certain age go out and order Vindaloo, one of the spiciest known Indian foods, as a rite of passage. This is why Britain is populated by 6 foot tall rugby players, who are usually the only survivors. The fatality rate increases drastically if this challenge is attempted sober.
An adult British male spotted eating any Korma is considered automatically gay and summarily beaten up and raped by his "not gay" Rugby playing communists.
[edit] Curry Sauce
Staple food of the poor man, great with Kebabs, Chip-dipping and Prawn Crakers (Shrimp Chip or Shrimp Cracker). Usually sold by Chinese restaurants and German markets where a dipping-chilli is supplied.
[edit] CUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRY
This is a cry often shouted by Richard Murray to make people laugh. Because his surname's "Murray". Hence the joke. It's the rhyme, you see.
[edit] Chilli
Chilli is to curry what heroin is to marijuana, although somewhat more expensive. Chilli addicts start off taking curry just for kicks, but soon find it can no longer deliver the high they needed, so they take chilli instead. The strongest type - Malaysian Death Chilli - is so hot that if someone not accustomed to it were to even look at a bowl of noodles containing just one single drop their head would immediately turn into a supernova. And that really, really hurts. It is said that, in Peruvia (or Argiebargietina or somewhere else in the country of Southamerica) there is a chilli so hot that locals mix it with water and use it to strip the paint off cars. But this is not true because, as everyone knows, Southamerica is a mythical country that does not really exist.
[edit] The Dreaded Curry Monster
“"Oh Sweet Lord No, The Curry Monster of Birmingham has struck me down!"”
~ Oscar Wilde on Curry Monster
“Deci...deci...deci...deci...”
~ Deci on Deci
Also to be greatly feared (or revered, by some fanatical sects) is the legendary CURRY MONSTER. First mentioned in ancient Hindu/Muslim/Brown-People-Related texts, the Curry monster is described as the Almighty Bringer of Curry, The Most Yellow One and in some rare instances, He Who Must Not Be Smelt. The ancient texts attribute the mythical powers of curry to the monster, such as:
- Super Spicy Curry Breath
- The Gaze of the Many Spices
- Giga Curry Blast
The monster can only be slain by forcing a peppermint (Extra Extra Extra Extra Strong) down its throat. Unfortunately, upon this occuring, the Curry Monster will unleash his (patented)Hyper Curry Death Shriek. All who hear this death wail will be instantly incinerated into a small pile of curry (colour varies depending upon ethnic origins).
The monster was first seen in India, and then in India, and then in India again. The monster then decided to emmigrate, as three consecutive lynchings followed by reincarations made it feel unwanted. The monster had a brief visit to China, it is said that its curriful influence turned all Chinese people yellow for all eternity. The beast then travelled to France, giving them the idea for smelly cheese, and then crossed the English Channel to England where it resided in Birmingham until late 2006. The creature was chased out of town, and into London where it has been living ever since, scaring cows and small children.
[edit] Common types of curry
- Chicken
- Lamb
- Elephant
- Owl
- Tim
- Sea-cucumber
- Penis
- Goat
- Tandoori Scotsman
- Gavin Curry
- Monster
- Durry Curry
- Dick Cheese
- Mac 'n' cheese (that is a curry, right? Sorry I'm from America)
- Coffee
- Man
- George W Bush
- Ivan
- Ameenatrapanamgonadakwii Curry , pronounced like: "I'm in a trap and I'm going to die. Quick, hurry!"
[edit] The Origination of the Word
The word originates from the singaporian word currenius, the father of an ancient singaporion hero: Hercules. He just threw random crap into a bowl and called it currenawul after himself. The word then spread all around the world and word leaders decided to change the mighty name into some random gibberish: CURRY. Currenius was angry and HE BECAME THE CURRY MONSTER. (see above) Who knows how it will change next?
