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Friday, August 22, 2014, 06:48 (UTC)
Dingo torana
UnNewsEXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW
CANBERRA, Australia -- After 20 years of renewing the advert in the classifieds of the local paper, Dr Chamberlain has finally found a buyer for his Holden Torana.

Negotiations are currently underway with Transformers director Michael Bay to remake the movie Evil Angels with the Torana in the starring role. Full story»


Pasty01
UnNewsNAVEL-GAZING
SAN FRANCISCO, California -- Google has announced that it has replaced Wikipedia with Uncyclopedia as its "trusted news source," following the success of Google's promotion of the British bakers Greggs and their novel advertising campaign, "Providing shit to scum for 70 years."

A spokesbot for Google confirmed that the change was due to the greater reach of Uncyclopedia to create important web traffic compared to "dull and drab" Wikipedia. Full story»

Hmor2
UnNewsNAVEL-GAZING
MENLO PARK, California -- Social-media giant Facebook announced it is experimenting with appending [Satire] to headlines from "the internet's unchecked hoax industry," a move that could falsely impugn UnNews itself.

A typical internet hoax may boast more than a quarter of a million Facebook shares, an amount that often requires a stockbroker. As that information spreads, it takes on the pall of truth faster than a pack-a-day smoker. Full story»


Policework01
FERGUSON, Missouri -- The urban riots here began after a white police officer shot Michael Brown — an unarmed black teenager who had nearly begun turning his life around.

Sometimes, such a racist acts out even before his victim finishes stealing cigars and shoves aside the cashier before clashing with a policeman on his way home to put more photos on Facebook of himself flipping people off. Full story»

Israelarmy01
JEFFERSON CITY, Missouri -- Missouri Governor Jay Nixon formally asked Israel to help contain violence in Ferguson. Nixon bypassed Barack "Pontius Pilate" Obama, to go straight to the experts at crowd control.

The Governor said his request for Israeli security forces was "temporary" and that they will soon return to Gaza for the next war peacekeeping mission. Full story»

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About UnNews
Created by the Uncyclomedia Foundation

UnNews is a service of Uncyclopedia that spreads misinformation and cons the public into swallowing it hook-line-and-sinker (and worm), by guilefully making it resemble authentic news articles. UnNews stories use satire to ensure the most unfair and biased reporting possible. Full story»

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This day in 2012

TV Highlights August 22


Jesus Slaps the Shit Outta _____. Fantasy
EWTN 6:00 PM EDT/5:00 CDT
This week's guests: American Catholic Bishops.

Spanish Inquisition Game
HIST 6:00 PM EDT/5:00 CDT
Betcha weren't expecting this.

Test Patterns Art history
CBS 8:00 PM EDT/7:00 CDT
In an effort to boost ratings, the network replaces one of its several crime dramas with an hour long slide show of test cards used throughout TV history.

Viewers in the United States can receive these broadcasts by notifying their local cable provider that they would like the Highbrow Package, which includes all these channels plus several in Hindi and complete coverage of Smackdown Wrestling.

Viewers in the UK might try contacting their local BT network for an upgrade from only receiving two channels to receiving three and all in colour.

Viewers in Australia or New Zealand might want to turn their TVs upside down (right way up) so that they can receive the signal.

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