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July 10, 2009 06:48 UTC

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Featuring, Bikini Jackson, Australian Jackson, Queen jackson and Disco Jackson.

Michael Jackson's death saves global economy

WASHINGTON DC -- Fly murderer/president of America, Barack Obama gave a speech at the White House recently, when he revealed that pop legend Michael Jackson, who passed away recently from eating too many bacon, banana and peanut-butter sandwiches. Oh wait my bad that was Elvis cardiac related stuff has saved the economy by dying.
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Archives: July 2009 | Older Indigestions


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Hell's receptionist did not immediately return comment

Reaper Malden accidentally murders NFL star on first day

NASHVILLE, Tennessee -- Newly-appointed Grim Reaper Karl Malden, who was inaugurated earlier than his planned Monday debut (due to the threat of online piracy), accidentally unleashed his supernatural powers on Tennessee Titans quarterback Steve McNair by shooting him multiple times in the face early Saturday.
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FEATURED STORY

Donald Trump, sitting with his Grim Reaper choice, and favorite actor, Karl Malden.

Oscar-winning actor Karl Malden selected as new Grim Reaper

LOS ANGELES, California -- After an endless string of shocking celebrity deaths and celebrity death internet hoaxes drove Grimace Yancy "Grim" Reaper to suicide in the past week or so, DeathCo, Inc. CEO Donald Trump has finally chosen somebody to take the reigns of the Grim Reaper.
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UnFunnies for July 10


This Week's Horoscopes

NOW UPDATED FOR WEEK OF 7/6/09

  • Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19) - This week if you find yourself alone, riding in the green fields with the sun on your face, do not be troubled. For you are in Elysium, and you're already dead.

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On This Day

July 10, 2008

July 10, 2007

UnWeather Station

provided by UnNews
UnWeather operates automatically by going out and auto-reading the weather news itself, and its contents are free and open to abuse and buttrape (only by appointment, please).

Two Day Outlook

Image:Snow3.PNG

Yesterday

a 99.99% chance of

thunder

Image:Snow3.PNG

Yesterday

a 99.99% chance of

thunder

Image:Snow3.PNG

Yesterday

a 99.99% chance of

thunder


Suggested Recreation

While there is a 99.99% chance of thunder
Yesterday, we suggest a little yard work.

Global Warming Indicator

Global Warming Indicator


International Posts

Special Weather Report:

A pack of wild hurricanes were spotted attempting to sneak up on China.


UnWeather Station Forecast Stats

This weather forecast is correct once in a blue moon, and twice after two shots of tequilla.


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