UnNews:Main Page

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

(Redirected from Current events)
Jump to: navigation, search
Welcome to UnNews
Your A.D.D. news outl — Oooh, look at the pictures!
Sunday, November 23, 2014, 10:25 (UTC)
Downtown cold
OTTAWA, Ontario -- A cold wave of unprecedented proportions has hit the Land of the Flying Moose.

The news, which literally hit reporters in the face as soon as they left their houses, reached the front page of various newspapers outlets. "Global warming must be a hoax!" titled the Globe and Mail. As the more simplistic Toronto Sun put it, "Global warming trolololol!" Across the border, six feet of global warming fell on Buffalo, New York. Full story»


New barack obama Bunny copy
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Obama reacted to his party's landslide election loss by using a power that last year he insisted he did not have, favoring illegals who have remained in the U.S. without credentials for the five years that he has remained in the White House without credentials.

Shocked Republicans huddled in a Senate cloakroom to devise a more clever gimmick, though avoiding talk of impeachment, impounding funds, or frowning. Several cautioned that saying "No" to Obama might make the left wing call them the "party of No" again and cost them another election, like the one they just swept. Full story»

1428239 aftermath300
FERGUSON, Missouri -- Organizers have opened bidding on premium seating for riots that could occur as soon as a grand jury classifies a shocking white-on-black murder as self-defense. They insist the victim was unarmed, as his attempt to wrestle the officer's gun away had not yet succeeded.

A coalition asked for 36 hours' notice before the decision, and demanded that police not use "menacing" equipment like bulletproof vests, which would deny rioters a non-threatening work environment. Full story»


Obama in monkey suit
DEEP SPACE XI, Milky Way -- U.S. President Barack Obama, responding to losing to a party with nothing to say beyond, "We're not Obama," took his new Relevance Initiative to a comet.

Mr. Obama negotiated a global warming treaty with pod person Xinping XI. But XI then arrested Obama, paraded him in front of other pod people in a prisoner suit, and patted him on the head. Full story»

Philea
KLANGER TOWN, Centre of the Known Universe -- It was a big big day at Klanger Town, as we welcomed our first alien to land here since Major Tom floated by some years back.

"I hope we can soon make contact with our visitors," said leading Klanger, Major Kilgore Klanger. But not all Klangers have shown to be happy with the arrival. The Ku Kluck Klangers have already put on their white tinfoil. Full story»

Latest news Feed-icon Twitter logo initial F icon Reload page
Write-unnews

Write a new UnNews story:±

UnNews needs you! If you've got an idea for an article...then sod off and type it into Minitrue. But if you can actually write a complete story, then enter the headline in the box below, then click the button to create your own UnNews article!

Read Me FirstFrom the ChiefStyle GuideNewsroom


EyeofOMGITSLOOKINGATME
Minitrue ± What's This?
Radiomicrophone

Recent UnNews Audio ± Podcast | Archive.


About UnNews
Created by the Uncyclomedia Foundation

UnNews is a service of Uncyclopedia that spreads misinformation and cons the public into swallowing it hook-line-and-sinker (and worm), by guilefully making it resemble authentic news articles. UnNews stories use satire to ensure the most unfair and biased reporting possible. Full story»

Current event marker

This day in 2013

TV Highlights November 23


Jesus Slaps the Shit Outta _____. Fantasy
EWTN 6:00 PM EDT/5:00 CDT
This week's guests: American Catholic Bishops.

Spanish Inquisition Game
HIST 6:00 PM EDT/5:00 CDT
Betcha weren't expecting this.

Test Patterns Art history
CBS 8:00 PM EDT/7:00 CDT
In an effort to boost ratings, the network replaces one of its several crime dramas with an hour long slide show of test cards used throughout TV history.

Personal tools
projects