Curious George
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“How curious is he?”
~ The Man In The Yellow Hat on Curious George
“Why so curious?”
~ The Joker on About to cut up curious George's face
“Why is The Man Tn The Yellow Hat always happy?”
~ Public on The Man In The Yellow Hat
“What does this button do?”
~ Curious George on Big Red Buttons
How many times have your parents told you, "Never talk to strangers!"? Well, the young monkey Curious George didn't listen to his parents, and he was abducted by the Man in the Yellow Hat. George was lured away from his parents by this strange-pigmented man by temptation of candy and porn.
It was at this time that George earned his nickname "Curious." You may have heard the phrase "Curiosity killed the cat." This is in fact a modern corruption of "Curiosity eventually crushed everything George had in life."
Remember, kids, always do as your parents tell you or else you might end up like poor George.
Curious George is not to be confused with Furious george, another ape, who wrought havoc on 1930's manhattan before perishing at the top of the Empire State Building.
Contents |
[edit] Early Life
George grew up under the care of the Man in the Yellow Hat and a large penis, but despite his kind treatment, George never got a proper education. When he grew up, his fate was already determined. On the wonderful day when the MitYH released George into the real world (we now know it as Independence Day), George was able to find a job with the circus, where he lived his life as a testament to what can happen when you listen to strangers.
[edit] Curious George's Book Series
During the 1940's, Curious George published a few books for children, drawing heavily on circumstances which happened to him throughout his life. The series was about a gorilla addicted to drugs named Delirious George. While on an acid trip, Delirious George is kidnapped by a perverted, middle-aged gorilla molester who is only referred to as “The Man in the Golden Hat”.
The list of books he published are:
- Curious George Assassinates The President Of The U.S.A
- Curious George Nukes The White House
- Curious George Gets High
- Bi-Curious George
- Curious George is Molested
- Curious George Gets AIDs
- Curious George Gets Rabies
- Curious George is Raped
- Curious George Hires a Hooker
- Curious George Smokes Marijuana
- Curious George is Raped Again
- Curious George and the Ebola Virus
- Curious George Kills President George
- Curious George Starts The Third World War
- Curious George Devours Young Children
- Curious George Kidnaps The Man With The Yellow Hat
- Curious George Steals The Man With The Yellow Hat's Credit Card Numbers
- Curious George Burns Down The Library
- Curious George Disembowels The Man With The Yellow Hat
- Curious George Shoots The Man With The Yellow Hat
- Curious George Tortures The Man With The Yellow Hat
- Curious George kills God
- Curious George and the Cross-Country Crime Spree
- Curious George Murders The Man With The Yellow Hat
- Curious George Rapes The Man With The Yellow Hat
The series was discontinued in the latter part of the 1960’s due to lack of interest.
[edit] Gobert's Death
Although his life was seemingly prosperous, George always maintained a strong addiction to pornography, cocaine, and beating mentally challenged students on recess at local schools. Due to these unfortunate facts, he eventually lost control and was fired from The Safari Strip Club ten years after his career began. For the next eight years, George was homeless on the streets of New York. In New york, he met a half retarded bum named Gobort. Him and Gobert decided to rob a bank in 2006, which lead to Gobort getting shot 129 times in the face with a 10 gauge semiautomatic shotgun, leaving George alone to commit his crimes.
[edit] Behind the Scenes
The Man with the Yellow Hat remained blissfully unaware of Curious George's evil...his obliviousness would lead to his demise.
Unbeknowist to the Man with the Yellow Hat, Curious George and his groupies had built a lair deep underneath his house. Using the Man with the Yellow Hat's credit card numbers and his identity to pay for the torture devices in the lair, Curious George began plotting against the Man with the Yellow Hat, and finally carried out his plans against him one night.
The Man With The Yellow Hat was holding a party with his homies and drunken bitches, with drugs, sex, cigarettes, and of course, beer. Luring the Man With The Yellow Hat's guests into the steam room, he locked them in and poured poison gas in the steam room, killing them in seconds. This unfortunately left the man with the yellow hat alone with George that night...
Curious George tied up the Man With The Yellow Hat, gagged him, shoved a banana up his ass, and took him to his underground lair, where he did something so horrible to the Man With The Yellow Hat it can not be said.
A few days later, the few homies of the Man With The Yellow Hat who hadn't gone to his party went to his house to visit him. To their surprise, the house was empty and it smelled of corpses. They discovered the bodies of the homies and the Man with the Yellow Hat and immediately called the police. However by then Curious George had long gone.
It took the police over a decade, but at last Curious George was caught while he was urinating on a tree. He was sentenced to death by hanging, but he was rescued by his groupies.
After his groupies saved him from prison, he began taking drugs, having sex, and drinking beer. He was a very happy monkey...
[edit] George's Gang
Another important thing about George is that he ran the La Georgio Gang from 1971 until his death. He was actually the co-founder of the gang but later killed Barney after he made fun of his mother (who was the leader). He eventually took over the drug trade in New York City and the La Georgio Gang took control over the city. In 1985 George affiliated with the Crips and invaded Washington D.C. However, the U.S army stopped George and his boys from taking over after the Battle of Georgio. The F.B.I eventually killed him brutally when he robbed a gas station in New York. He was shot 125 times in the face with a 10 gauge shotgun and that lead to his demise. He is currently in the darkest depths of Hell.
