Cucumber

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== Origins of "Cucumber" ==
 
== Origins of "Cucumber" ==
The word cucumber comes from the dutch word 'Komkommer'. The Dutch [[female]] word for a cucumber is 'komkommerin', which means come-on-in. so whenever you see a Dutch lady with a cucumber, it means that you will be welcome in her neighborhood. But if any Dutch lady you see is not holding a cucumber then it is best to stay at a safe distance. Cucumbers have wicked souls.
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The word cucumber comes from the dutch word 'Komkommer'. The Dutch [[female]] word for a cucumber is 'komkommerin', which means come-on-in. so whenever you see a Dutch lady with a cucumber, it means that you will be welcome in her neighborhood. But if any Dutch lady you see is not holding a cucumber then it is best to stay at a safe distance. Cucumbers have wicked souls. They make rituals in your stomach when digested giving you a strange sense of goodness but after ward when they are ejected the natural way they give excruciating pain causing several ruptures and welts.
   
 
== Where? ==
 
== Where? ==
 
{{wikipedia}}
 
{{wikipedia}}
Cucumbers can be found in the center of the [[Earth]], because they are very dry and thick, [[Napoleon]] discovered the first cucumber. It was red-skinned and looked like a [[human]], and he called cucumbers [[Indians]]. Later there were more discoveries: Hitler found one in his [[boot]], and he currently has a cooked cucumber in a place where it would not easily be found. Most "[[Women]]" have one in their "[[Vagina|Other Butthole]]."
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Cucumbers can be found in the center of the [[Earth]], because they are very dry and thick. [[Napoleon]] discovered the first cucumber. It was red-skinned. He called them [[Indians]]. Later there were more discoveries: Hitler found one in his [[boot]], and he currently has a cooked cucumber in a place where it would not easily be found.
 
[[Image:Sea Cucumber.jpg|thumb|left|An [[albino]] cucumber eating [[Hershey's Kisses]].]]Cucumbers are found any where it is warm not just in the center of the earth
 
 
== How? ==
 
 
What do you mean 'How?'
 
How stupid can you be?
 
'''How to Grow a Cucumber:'''
 
 
#Organize a big, big [[party]], with lots of [[beer]], (like more than 10.000 bottles)
 
#Let everyone who drinks his beer put the empty bottle on the ground next to each other.
 
#Now you only have to play the waiting game!
 
   
  +
[[Image:Sea Cucumber.jpg|thumb|left|An [[albino]] cucumber eating [[Hershey's Kisses]].]]
  +
Cucumbers are found anywhere it is warm, not just in the center of the earth.
   
 
==Enjoyment of Cucumbers==
 
==Enjoyment of Cucumbers==
 
[[Image:Sexy Cucumber.jpg|thumb|A cu-cumm-ber. Best served cold.]]
 
[[Image:Sexy Cucumber.jpg|thumb|A cu-cumm-ber. Best served cold.]]
Well, they taste good, but i think you have another use of it. o_0
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Despite a delicious taste, cucumbers have a myriad of other uses.
   
 
== Cow? ==
 
== Cow? ==
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Cows actually invented the cucumber, at a historic moment in bovine history. The cucumber was found by a tiny purple cow, who climbed into a [[tree]] and after he looked around a bit, he saw [[spirals]] everywhere! This may seem strange but makes perfect sense while people say this makes no sense no one really cares
Cows actually invented the famous cucumber; for them it was a revolution in [[cowation]] history. The cucumber was found by a tiny purple cow, who climbed into a [[tree]] and after he looked around a bit, he saw [[spirals]] everywhere! He then went crazy and screamed CUCUMBER!!!
 
After the small purple cow's exclamation the very first cucumber sprouted from the ground. Beginning the long proud history of the cucumber race.
 
   
 
== Cutting a cucumber lengthways ==
 
== Cutting a cucumber lengthways ==
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==Religon==
 
==Religon==
   
Not many people know this, but secretly, everyone worships the almighty cuCUMber. Yes, even the christians, buddhists, you know it, they worship cuCUMbers. Every afternoon, they gather around the sacred table called a 'counter' and take out the sacred device called a 'knife'. To show appreciation to the almighty cuCUMber god, they take one of his greatest creations, a cucumber (a smaller, edible version of himself) and slice the cucumber into thin slices. Then they consume this gift to show appreciation for all the almighty cuCUMber's creations, especially his cucumbers..
+
Not many people know this, but secretly, everyone worships the almighty cucumber. Yes, even the christians, buddhists, you know it, they worship cucumbers. Every afternoon, they gather around the sacred table called a 'counter' and take out the sacred device called a 'knife'. To show appreciation to the almighty cucumber god, they take one of his greatest creations, a cucumber (a smaller, edible version of himself) and slice the cucumber into thin slices. Then they consume this gift to show appreciation for all the almighty cucumber's creations, especially his cucumbers..
 
 
==Other Uses==
 
 
*[[Dildo|Cooking]]
 
See above under [[enjoyment]].
 
   
 
==Zucchinis==
 
==Zucchinis==
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*[[Sea cucumber]]
 
*[[Sea cucumber]]
 
*[[Pickle]]
 
*[[Pickle]]
 
==External links==
 
*[http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/cucumbers/ Cucumbers in Bognor Regis]
 
*[http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v608/hermani/naamloos.jpg This guy does very well.]
 
 
   
 
{{TheDildos}}
 
{{TheDildos}}
[[Category:Vegetables]][[Category:I Didn't Know I Had It In Me]]
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[[Category:Vegetables]]
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[[Category:I Didn't Know I Had It In Me]]
   
 
[[ar:الخيار]]
 
[[ar:الخيار]]

Latest revision as of 14:45, October 17, 2013

Cucumber

A cucumber in its natural habitat.

A cucumber is a small green animal that lives in people's bodies.

edit Origins of "Cucumber"

The word cucumber comes from the dutch word 'Komkommer'. The Dutch female word for a cucumber is 'komkommerin', which means come-on-in. so whenever you see a Dutch lady with a cucumber, it means that you will be welcome in her neighborhood. But if any Dutch lady you see is not holding a cucumber then it is best to stay at a safe distance. Cucumbers have wicked souls. They make rituals in your stomach when digested giving you a strange sense of goodness but after ward when they are ejected the natural way they give excruciating pain causing several ruptures and welts.

edit Where?

Bouncywikilogo7
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Cucumber.

Cucumbers can be found in the center of the Earth, because they are very dry and thick. Napoleon discovered the first cucumber. It was red-skinned. He called them Indians. Later there were more discoveries: Hitler found one in his boot, and he currently has a cooked cucumber in a place where it would not easily be found.

Sea Cucumber

An albino cucumber eating Hershey's Kisses.

Cucumbers are found anywhere it is warm, not just in the center of the earth.

edit Enjoyment of Cucumbers

Sexy Cucumber

A cu-cumm-ber. Best served cold.

Despite a delicious taste, cucumbers have a myriad of other uses.

edit Cow?

Cows actually invented the cucumber, at a historic moment in bovine history. The cucumber was found by a tiny purple cow, who climbed into a tree and after he looked around a bit, he saw spirals everywhere! This may seem strange but makes perfect sense while people say this makes no sense no one really cares

edit Cutting a cucumber lengthways

Cutting a cucumber lengthways is considered as something "city folk" would do. Molemen of excentric culture would not usually do this, although they sometimes cut a cucumber lengthways when in the city, as not to offend city folk.

edit Religon

Not many people know this, but secretly, everyone worships the almighty cucumber. Yes, even the christians, buddhists, you know it, they worship cucumbers. Every afternoon, they gather around the sacred table called a 'counter' and take out the sacred device called a 'knife'. To show appreciation to the almighty cucumber god, they take one of his greatest creations, a cucumber (a smaller, edible version of himself) and slice the cucumber into thin slices. Then they consume this gift to show appreciation for all the almighty cucumber's creations, especially his cucumbers..

edit Zucchinis

294px-Courgettes primeur artlibre jnl

Zucchinis and cucumbers engaging in full on, bloody, armed combat. What a terrible waste.

Aesthetically, cucumbers are almost identical to zucchinis. Having said this, they are a sworn enemy of cucumbers and have been a harrowing burden to the cucumber society and way of life since the beginning of time. They would steal valuable heirlooms from the cucumber royals, rape the cucumber children, sell cocaine on the streets of the cucumber cities and commit many other terrible deeds. Eventually the cucumbers reached breaking point and declared war on the zucchinis. It all ended in tears. Hundreds of billions of innocent human civilians were killed in the crossfire of the war, so they called for a ceasefire. Relationships have been sour ever since the war, but cucumbers and zucchinis have lived in peace ever since.

edit See Also


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