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When Poland seceded from Michigan in 1929, the Poles wanted to do something different with their new constitution. While Michigan had a long tradition of having only one punishment for criminals—confinement to a tropical resort for varying lengths of time, in accordance with the severity of the crime, Poland thought this to be too ridiculous.

Poland decided to allow some more humane punishments, collectively termed cruel and unusual punishments. Among them included the death penalty, to be given only in two forms; hanging, electrocution, goring by wild ox and starvation.

The tropical resort was remodeled into a proper prison, the solitary confinement area was banned from the Internet, and the cafeteria budget was cut by 82% making the food only slightly better than the average high school cafeteria.

Polish punishments involving something less than death include flogging, flogging, slavery, sodomy with lead pipe, and entry in American Idol.

[edit] Historical cruel and unusual punishments

• Having to sit in the corner. (Facing in)
• Having to sit in the corner. (Facing out)
• Sent to bed with no dinner.
• Being mauled by a badger.
• Listening to a continuous recording of the Crazy Frog
• Exile to Indiana University.
• Laughing at a joke that's not funny to make your boss happy. (Aren't you glad I didn't say Banana?)
• Visiting Grandma
• Religion.
• Being put in a round room and being told there is a penny in the corner.
• Being forced to edit an article called "Cruel and unusual punishment" on a website called "Uncyclopedia" on a machine called a "computer" using a device known as a "keyboard."
• Any time you have a hang nail and can't find the nail clippers.
• Being locked in a room with a Tickle-Me-Elmo doll set on repeat for the next few hours.
• Being forced to strip down to your underwear and paraded at the plaza while your legs are spread.
• Human trawling
• Watching a red/blue screen flickering on/off as you are tied up in a chair.
• Being stabbed my mechanical knives from nowhere.
• Solving a 1x1 Rubix Cube WITHOUT REMOVING THE STICKERS AND/OR REPLACING THEM ON DIFFERENT SIDES.
• Reading the World's Smallest Book within 20 minutes.
• Being forced to watch Yaoi or Yuri depending on your gender.