Crouton

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{{q|A futon for a crouton, nay, a couch.|William Shakespeare|Croutons}}
<br>Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Maecenas euismod faucibus eros vitae consectetur. Morbi pharetra metus non felis tincidunt nec ullamcorper tortor dictum. Cras tincidunt vulputate justo, sit amet blandit risus pharetra in. Mauris aliquam nulla ac massa sollicitudin hendrerit. Vestibulum id est at quam faucibus commodo. Aliquam cursus dui in quam molestie suscipit. Integer augue orci, dignissim sed convallis non, molestie a lectus. Duis dignissim nulla dui, non dapibus nisl. Maecenas convallis convallis massa, nec facilisis dui varius ac. Pellentesque a feugiat erat. Mauris metus massa, suscipit sagittis viverra quis, luctus quis diam. Mauris elit magna, tincidunt in commodo et, laoreet eget purus. Pellentesque odio arcu, dictum et scelerisque nec, fermentum non nunc. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Maecenas euismod faucibus eros vitae consectetur. Morbi pharetra metus non felis tincidunt nec ullamcorper tortor dictum. Cras tincidunt vulputate justo, sit amet blandit risus pharetra in. Mauris aliquam nulla ac massa sollicitudin hendrerit. Vestibulum id est at quam faucibus commodo. Aliquam cursus dui in quam molestie suscipit. Integer augue orci, dignissim sed convallis non, molestie a lectus. Duis dignissim nulla dui, non dapibus nisl. Maecenas convallis convallis massa, nec facilisis dui varius ac. Pellentesque a feugiat erat. Mauris metus massa, suscipit sagittis viverra quis, luctus quis diam. Mauris elit magna, tincidunt in commodo et, laoreet eget purus. Pellentesque odio arcu, dictum et scelerisque nec, fermentum non nunc. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Maecenas euismod faucibus eros vitae consectetur. Morbi pharetra metus non felis tincidunt nec ullamcorper tortor dictum. Cras tincidunt vulputate justo, sit amet blandit risus pharetra in. Mauris aliquam nulla ac massa sollicitudin hendrerit. Vestibulum id est at quam faucibus commodo. Aliquam cursus dui in quam molestie suscipit. Integer augue orci, dignissim sed convallis non, molestie a lectus. Duis dignissim nulla dui, non dapibus nisl. Maecenas convallis convallis massa, nec facilisis dui varius ac. Pellentesque a feugiat erat. Mauris metus massa, suscipit sagittis viverra quis, luctus quis diam. Mauris elit magna, tincidunt in commodo et, laoreet eget purus. Pellentesque odio arcu, dictum et scelerisque nec, fermentum non nunc.
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{{Q|CROUTON CROUTON! crunchy friends in a liquid broth.|The Mighty Boosh|Croutons in soup}}
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The humble '''crouton''' may be taken for granted in modern times; indeed, we give little thought to the tiny bits of bread that make possible our electric dryers, space heaters, and [[shoe]] salesmen. If the crouton is ever considered it is to remark disparagingly on how it on expensive they have become, that is, a symbol of wealth. Prior to the 17th century, however, the very concept, much less the use, of a small piece of dry or fried [[bread]], often seasoned, was considered radical and its entertaining could be grounds for imprisonment or worse.
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==Croutennii==
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[[History]] has been rife with what are called crouton relatives, or croutenii (CRU-TEN-I), with the true crouton making a relatively late historical appearance. These croutenii may share one or more similarities with the true crouton but are lacking in an important way. An example is a sandstone brick, while it may be both squarish shaped and tan colored (hallmarks of a classic crouton) it is not considered a proper crouton as the planting of it produces a fruitless tree.
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==Modern Croutons==
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The modern crouton can first trace its history to its invention by William Forrester, not to be confused with James Forster - MA & clergyman, in 1511. Forrester, a failed doctor, writer, and generally despicable human being, awoke one night with a vision of what we now know as the crouton. Seized by an idea that was centuries before its time, Forrester passionately but unsuccessfully tried to convince the population of Britain for widespread adoption of the crouton. Unfortunately for Forrester, [[Britain]], like the rest of the world at that time, was reliant on a competing standard of oats. This entrenched oats lobby was successful in preventing and even, briefly, prosecuting the use of crouton under the Improper Bread Derivatives Restriction act of 1551. A critically lampooned but commercially successful musical also resulted mocking Forrester and the perceived flaws of crouton use.
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In 1599, both the ever apparent advantages of the crouton and the growing impossibility of maintaining a crouton-free society motivated the repeal of the hated Improper Bread Derivatives Restriction act. Since 1599, croutons have seen a continual rise in use to the almost universal application we see today.
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==Croton 3000==
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By the year 4000, croutons have evolved into a giant robot overlord known as '''Croton 3000'''. They long ago decided to drop the pesky 'u' in their name, as they felt it was sadly inefficient. Ironically, they had no idea what 'sadness' was. They were unaware that the 3000 made them seem as if they were 1000 years behind the times.
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==External Links==
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* [http://www.koreaherald.co.kr/NEWKHSITE/data/html_dir/2008/12/27/200812270013.asp Croutons by the Korea Herald]
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* http://www.british-history.ac.uk/report.asp?compid=17430
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{{Elementary_particle}}
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[[category:food]]
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<!-- MEDIA WATCH -->
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| valign="center" align="center" | [[Image:UnNews_Logo_Newspaper.png|100px|left|<br style="clear:both" />]]''This article was '''cited''' in The Korea Herald,<br>further diminishing what little credibility the media had left.<br>You can read all about it [http://www.koreaherald.co.kr/NEWKHSITE/data/html_dir/2008/12/27/200812270013.asp here]
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Latest revision as of 08:40, July 5, 2012

“A futon for a crouton, nay, a couch.”
~ William Shakespeare on Croutons
“CROUTON CROUTON! crunchy friends in a liquid broth.”
~ The Mighty Boosh on Croutons in soup

The humble crouton may be taken for granted in modern times; indeed, we give little thought to the tiny bits of bread that make possible our electric dryers, space heaters, and shoe salesmen. If the crouton is ever considered it is to remark disparagingly on how it on expensive they have become, that is, a symbol of wealth. Prior to the 17th century, however, the very concept, much less the use, of a small piece of dry or fried bread, often seasoned, was considered radical and its entertaining could be grounds for imprisonment or worse.

edit Croutennii

History has been rife with what are called crouton relatives, or croutenii (CRU-TEN-I), with the true crouton making a relatively late historical appearance. These croutenii may share one or more similarities with the true crouton but are lacking in an important way. An example is a sandstone brick, while it may be both squarish shaped and tan colored (hallmarks of a classic crouton) it is not considered a proper crouton as the planting of it produces a fruitless tree.

edit Modern Croutons

The modern crouton can first trace its history to its invention by William Forrester, not to be confused with James Forster - MA & clergyman, in 1511. Forrester, a failed doctor, writer, and generally despicable human being, awoke one night with a vision of what we now know as the crouton. Seized by an idea that was centuries before its time, Forrester passionately but unsuccessfully tried to convince the population of Britain for widespread adoption of the crouton. Unfortunately for Forrester, Britain, like the rest of the world at that time, was reliant on a competing standard of oats. This entrenched oats lobby was successful in preventing and even, briefly, prosecuting the use of crouton under the Improper Bread Derivatives Restriction act of 1551. A critically lampooned but commercially successful musical also resulted mocking Forrester and the perceived flaws of crouton use.

In 1599, both the ever apparent advantages of the crouton and the growing impossibility of maintaining a crouton-free society motivated the repeal of the hated Improper Bread Derivatives Restriction act. Since 1599, croutons have seen a continual rise in use to the almost universal application we see today.

edit Croton 3000

By the year 4000, croutons have evolved into a giant robot overlord known as Croton 3000. They long ago decided to drop the pesky 'u' in their name, as they felt it was sadly inefficient. Ironically, they had no idea what 'sadness' was. They were unaware that the 3000 made them seem as if they were 1000 years behind the times.

edit External Links


Elementary Particles
Atomic Electron - Neutron - Photon - Positron - Proton Colorful wave
Sub-atomic Bozon - Graviton - Moron - Ballmiton - Tachyon - Badger - Sauron - Quark - Spork
Ethnic Neutrino - Anti-neutrino - Crouton - Darkon - Onion - Galvatron
Connections Chemical bonding - Gayon - Hardon - Snap-on


This article was cited in The Korea Herald,
further diminishing what little credibility the media had left.
You can read all about it here
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