Crazy Larry

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~ Mark on landrover
~ Some fat bitch on Highlanders head
“He stole my handbag, and my anal virginity”
~ Oscar wilde on Crazy Larry
“Loved him in those CRAZY discount ads”
~ Joe Isuzu
~ Martin Spencer


Crazy Larry is in fact a misnomer. He started his acting career as a momentary distraction from insipient syphilitic dementia, staring in 1975's Magnum Torch Song Trilogy, playing himself as a vigilante, chanteuse and pyromaniac. The whirlwind of publicity, instant stardom and elevation of Crazy Larry to a pop culture archetype took everyone - including Larry himself - by surprise. As the first of the sound byte action heroes everyone from mailmen to presidential candidates were spouting his catch phrases "Wanna get lucky, punk?" , "Make me a drink" and "Hey, Sailor!"

edit Out of the Pubic Eye

Despite his sudden popularity, Larry's star-studded lifestyle was not enough to preserve his sanity. His life took a turn for the worse when a sixteen year old fan burned down his highschool in a black sequined evening gown. Blaming himself for the tragedy Larry suffered a nervous breakdown and semi-retired from acting. The only films made during this bleak period of the star's life featured a monkey as a co star, and therefore found little appreciation from the popular audience.

edit Sightings

Crazy larry is reported to have been seen in a newcastle school by the name of Adam Bradley. care should be taken in approaching larry as he is extremely contagous. Also will respond to Highlander or Landrover, it is the custom to throw rocks at him and ward him off and property owned by anyone.

Has been sited in newcastle's capital 'the monument' lying down with his binbag of mystery mumbling to himself about how the real santa will oneday come back kick the shit out of him in a big gay wrestling match.

edit Later history

In 1985, Larry exploded onto the scene, primarily parlaying his status as a meme into a discount medical supply warehouse with himself as spokesman. But he was a changed man. In the executive suite, he puttered around in a ratty bathrobe and bunny slippers, a big-pharma Hugh Heffner, dejectedly muttering, "I'm sorry" and "You're right, you're right."

edit The Future

Crazy 'Bradass' Larrimy is going to wrestle his way through collage while studying l33t and having mad 'bum-love' (as in: the anus and being hoborific). He then plans to catch chlamydia off a 13 year old salamander named Frederick and then get a job at the local death row helping the inmates decide to commit suicide, freeing up more cells to put charvs in and thus saving the world. He will then search the world of warcraft for an 'anti-larry' so they can run into each other anhilate himself the only way possible and make the world perfect.

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