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Founding Location: Watford
Years Active: 1988 - Present
Territory: Rural Great Britain
Membership: 8-10 Made Members, 6 Million Regular Associates
Criminal Activities: Racketeering, Extortion, Fraud, Illegal Gambling, Money Laundering, Robbery, Drug Trafficking, Fencing, Prostitution & Hijacking
Associated Crime Families: Craven, Baker, Bradbury, Fogle, Henson, Harrision,Skelton, Humble

Countryfile (Campagna Incartamento in Italian) is an international organised crime syndicate founded in the late 1980s by the BBC. The current head of the family is Matt Baker, the notorious Geordie hoodlum.

edit Formation


Head of the family, Craven

On June 21st 1988, the BBC bosses decided to form Countryfile in direct response to Channel 4’s now infamous ‘Hitman & Her’. The Hitman & Her was well known in the industry for its heavy handed methods, drug trafficking and prostitution rings in and around the clubs of Great Britain. Don, Pete 'The Nose' Waterman & enforcer Michaela 'The Butt' Strachan were in complete control and making massive profits. The BBC decided they wanted a slice of the action and Countryfile was formed.

“I'll fuckin kill you, get the money, you fuckin' cocksucker, you hear me? ”
~ John Craven

edit Turf Wars

The Spring of 1989 heralded the start of the bloody turf wars. Countryfile, now well established, had built a powerful, but small, empire fencing stolen goods and laundering money. Jim Bergerac, John Nokes, Harry Enfield we all known ‘customers’ of Countryfile but the family were hungry for more.

In direct competition to Hitman & Her, Countryfile started a late-night repeat broadcast, immediately reducing the effectiveness of H&H. Before long they had their fingers in Racketeering & Extortion, May To December & one Foot In The Grave being two of their early victims.

edit Expansion

Adam henson

Ruthless: Henson

Late in 1989, John 'The Jackel' Craven joined Countryfile, leaving the well known and established crime family, Newsround. Starting in the lower ranks as a foot soldier, Craven was a good earner for the family and quickly rose up through the family, before long making ‘’’Capo’’’ and was running his own crew in downtown Cheltenham. Craven was the ‘go-to’ guy for eliminations in the area. A ruthless and talented hitman, Craven and his crew were responsible for many of the disappearances in Gloucestershire. Although only rumoured, it’s believed that once the execution had taken place, the bodies were disposed of using chainsaws and acid-baths, something Craven reputedly relished.

edit A new Don

In 2006, Craven took over as head of the Countryfile Family replacing Juliet 'Slasher' Morris. Craven was well known for being hard but fair and under him the family continued to flourish. With the borders in Europe open, Craven set about building an human trafficking empire set to rival the African slave trade of the 19th century, pimping prostitues was Craven's kind of business.

Over the years Craven bought new blood into the family. Matt 'Knuckles' Baker was acquired from the Blue Peter family and Ganga farmer and weapons dealer, Adam 'The Sheep' Henson was bought on board.

“Come on fuckos, let's go for a ride. ”
~ Ellie Harrison

edit Coup d'Etat

Evil Trio

Pure Evil, members of the Contryfile family flaunting their criminality

In 2009 there was unrest within the Countryfile family. Baker was getting greedy and started plotting the overthrow of the Countryfile leadership; the clock was ticking for Craven.

Baker recruited Ellie 'Hair Trigger ' Harrison, we well known assassin & sex trafficker, the plan was to take Carven out, however Craven got wind of the plot against him and decided to take decisive action and jump before he was pushed.

Baker immediately filled the void left by Craven’s departure and became head of the family. He was quick to push through a raft of changes to the way Countryfile did business, concentrating on expanding gambling and bookmaking. He recruited Clare 'Giddy Up' Balding a well-known horse nobbler and promoted Ellie Harrison to his Consigliere. Baker saw that people trafficking was not making the money it once used to and decided to focus more on drugs, aiming to make Countryfile the world’s leading producer and distributor of Crystal Meth and to this day it’s believed that the Countryfile Crime Family as responsible for around 90% of world production of the drug.

Countryfile is a crime syndicate that continues to go from strength to strength. They have seen off such threats as ITV’s ‘Countryside Live’, ‘Potatoes with Trevor McDonald’ and it's believed that 'Friends' ended their run because of pressure from Countryfile heavies.

Craven was arrested in 2012 and turned supergrass. He is currently in the witness-protection program and is believed to be living somewhere in Wales.

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