Couch
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The common couch is a magical flotation device, as well as a cost-effective mode of transportation. The Couch was invented in 1895 by a man by the name of Jay Wellingdon Couch who happened to be Polish. As a young boy Jay always wished he had more out of his chair. Yes, he found it comfy, and the pillows were placed correctly, but he couldn't lie down and sleep on it. And since Jay did not have a bed for he was poor he always had to sleep strapped to the wall. Henceforth, Jay invented the couch, which he first called the "Longer than a Chair, but not quite as big as a bed, but you can still sleep on it in a comfortable manner, yet you can sit up because it has a back" 3 weeks later, Jay passed away while flossing. His family and friends didn't love him anyway. They took all the credit for his invention and didn't feel he was important enough to have a funeral so they just stuffed him and used him as door mat.
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[edit] Carrying Capacity
One usually sits on a couch. As, that is what one does, as opposed to 42, which does not sit on the couch, as that would be far too many unless of course, it is a very large couch. The exception is Tom Cruise, who does not sit in the couch, but instead hyperactively jumps around on it, drooling obscenely and force-frying anyone unfortunate to be close.
[edit] Surfing couches
Some people are known to take a couch and jump off a big cliff, usually they run after the visionary couch lemming. This is called "the CouchSurfing mission". For this reason Couchsurfers are not known for their old age. Tom Cruise later started the terrorist splinter group called OpenCouchSurfing.
[edit] The Failed Couch Revolution
The future of couches was to change forever, but breifly, and then appear as if it had never happened on the 3rd October 2003. Sick of being sat on for years just to end up on the side of the road with questionable stains and an ungodly scent the group, "Couch Revolution Histerectomy" was formed. Numbering in the tens of millions the group waged a war of terror, uniting couches of all colours and shapes under one banner. The war lasted 4 months and ended with the sacking of Jerusalem. The Taliban were outraged by this new race capable of waging war. They expelled the couches from the city using wine and period blood (mortal couch enemies) hence undoing the revolution and restoring things to the way they were. They have since been using couch war tactics to great effect.
[edit] Couches Today
Couches today now live in peace among humans and the house pets who regularly sleep on them. They make demands of human telepathically without the homosapiens realizing resulting in long naps and hours of doing absolutely nothing except sitting on the couch and watching tv. This is also a major cause of child obesity and aids. Sex on couches is something the couches refuse to comment on as many of our couchal friends enjoy it but many do not like to clean up after.
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