Corpse

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

Jump to: navigation, search
“I remember making out with one”
~ Michael Jackson on Dead body of a ten year old he found
“I'm one, and so is my mom.”
~ You on You and your mom <insert name here>

If you came from the article 2000 AD - 2099 AD, go to this page.

This corpse is happy to be working at McDonalds
When a corpse retires from Walmart they are placed in a coffin for their last 'coffee break'

Corpse is the body of a deceased person. They can be commonly seen working in Starbucks, McDonalds or Walmart. When asking a question, you will usually only illicit a response such as 'huh', 'I'm on my break', or 'arrgghh kill all humans'. It is better to 'respect the dead' and just go ahead and shoplift anyway. {{C| They should not be confused with zombies, zombies can actually be productive in society, view the work of the late Bill Clinton, and recently deceased Nelson Mandela. They still do a great amount of work.

Corpses on the other hand only move when pushed, shoved, or kicked by their boss. When they eventually retire from working in a chain store, it is common to place them into a coffin to rest in peace. Though this coffin is then often just cremated, and turned into a pile of ashes.


Contents

[edit] Recreational uses of corpses

  • Playing Bingo with
  • Sex object
  • The centerpiece of your dinner party, corpses are a delicious treat that are enjoyed at breakfast and lunch a Rotting corpse

[edit] Well Known Corpses

[edit] Films starring corpses

[edit] See also

[edit] Fun things to do with corpses

  • Eat it.
  • Kick it.
  • Poke it with a stick.
  • Have sex with it.
  • Have even more sex with it.
  • Cut it open to see what's inside.
  • Try to re-animate it.
  • Cut off some limbs and then play practical jokes on your friends/kids/grandparents presently on own death bed.
  • Cut off some limbs and just use them to beat the crap out of your friends/kids/grandparents
  • Drive around town with it pretending he or she is your best friend.
  • Donate it to a classroom for science class.
  • Build up a collection of different corpses - see how many you can get and trade them with your mates.
  • Dress them up in different costumes and show them off.
  • Suck the gooey bits out of them.
  • Paint swastikas on it and parade it round town.
  • Use it for your next BBQ.
  • Donate it to McDonalds to help save the cows.
  • Use it as a babysitter while low on cash.
  • Iron their head so it looks funny in the funeral.
  • EVERYONE LOVES MUNTING.
Personal tools
projects