Control-Alt-Delete (BDSM)

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“I dont need the safeword, but then again I prefer bondage and pain”
~ Bill Gates on Control-Alt-Delete safeword
“I like domination, mainly dominating YOU!”
~ Windows on Control-Alt-Delete and BDSM
“This Damn thing Doesn't help, it only brings up a TASK MANAGER!”
~ Oscar Wilde on Frantically trying to regain millions of hours of porn on his computer
“Do I press them all at the same time, or...?”
~ Your Grandpa on Pressing CTRL-Alt-Delete

The sequence Control-Alt-Delete also known as the Compter BDSM Safety Code/Word and often used inerchangable with Microsoft and Bill Gates is a sequence of keys to be pressed in the event that the computers bondage has become too much for the submissive user to take. With the onset of Windows, Control-Alt-Delete has become one of the most common key comibinations entered by computer users everywhere, topped only by accidental hits of the Windows Key. This is similar to the alT-CtRl-De1337 command, however the order that the keys are pressed offer different options to the bondage experienced user.

Ironmaiden

An example of bondage that Windows will not let you remove through the Ctrl+Alt+Delete. Attempts to remove this may result in permanent bondage through a neverending series of the BSOD

edit History

New bsd

Bill gates explaining how the BSOD is related to BDSM

The Ctrl+Alt+Delete sequence started as an all encompasing safe word. Upon invoing Ctrl+Alt+Delete, the operating system was forced to release the user from its bondage. With the onset of Windows, the meaning of Control+Alt+Delete has changed. Instead of being an immediate release from all computer bondage, it made relief from the torture into a complex guessing game. The guessing game is based on the premise that you are bound by 100's of things and that you do not know the name of any of these things. In some versions of the game, there are torture implements that are hidden and therefore almost impossible to guess. At the point when the user feels that the bondage has gone too far, they no longer had the option to remove it all with the originally simple code, however found that they were forced to guess what implement of torture pushed them over their bondage threshold with the catch being that a wrong guess could result in permanent system bondage. While some push the boundries by trying to end all forms of bondage from the Windows system through the CTRL+ALT+DELETE process, many just leave it alone suffering with mediocre performance in hopes that they will only have to suffer through lesser forms of torture.

edit Usage

Modern day usage of this sequence may have lost part of its original meaning due to the high frequency of uses in associate Microsoft products. This increase in usage has made the sequence synonymous with Microsoft and or Bill Gates. Unexperienced users may believe that this sequence will fix other non bondage related issues however are surprised to find that invoking this sequence may itself cause permanent bondage. CTRL+ALT+DELETE is similar to calling "Mercy" or "Uncle" in the english language and is most often used by desperate users under extreme dures hoping for relief from some sort of system torture.

edit Frequency of Use

The actual usage of the Ctrl+Alt+Delete sequence depends on the level of bondage a users operating system chooses to force its user to endure. Studies have shown that Microsoft Windows users have the highest usage with 100% of them being exposed to bondage that is too much for them to handle, and 110% of user being forced to invoke the Ctrl+Alt+Delete Clause.

New microsoft keyboard

Experienced users press this sequence so frequently that many opt for a slimmed down, ergonomic, Control-Alt-Delete keyboard.

edit Known Problems

The Microsoft system has a known issue where the system may not "hear" the invoked sequence. Many believe that the system understands the sequence however chooses to ignore it, breaking the trust relationship between the system and the user. Even with a broken trust relationship it is not unusual for bondage thirsty users ro regularly return for another round of computer bondage, and the instrument of torture guessing game with some advanced players playing 18+ hours daily.

edit See also

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