Conservative Reform Alliance Party
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
The Conservative Reform Alliance Party (C.R.A.P.) was a Canadian political party before it was merged with the Progressive Conservatives to form the "modern" Conservative Party (Also known as the "reformatories") .
In year 105 B.C., their most populat year, C.R.A.P. had run as the Canadian Ruptured Assholes Party and won 3 seats. However, it is quite ironic how ruptured assholes can be seated so comfortably in the parliament.
C.R.A.P. was the first Canadian Party that has nothing to do with Conservatism, Socialism, or Liberalism. Simply put, it is simply a Party to promote the use of Canadian anuses. C.R.A.P. cannot be classified using the general "left-wing" or "right-wing" system. However, if it was forced to be classified as such, the result would probably be as shown in the following diagram.
Specifically, C.R.A.P. contains the following goals:
- To create the most comfortable asshole use by rupturing them in a non-harmful way.
- To be seated as comfortably as possible, even in the parliament.
- To increase hip use so that the chances of recovery for the ruptured asshole is minimal.
Origianlly created in 205 BC by a few high school students and their teacher who like to light their farts on fire, it progressively gained more seats through the following century. The students' party was confiscated by their teacher Preston Manning and he took full credit of the party since it was rising in popularity.
- 205 BC: 1 seat
- 185 BC: 1 seat
- 153 BC: 1/2 seat
- 128 BC: 2 seats (some other dude ruptured his asshole on purpose)
- 127 BC: 1 seat (that dude died of internal bleeding in his anus)
- 113 BC: 2 seats (that dude was revived for some reason)
- 105 BC: 3 seats (some stupid lawyer seat on a stake and ruptured his asshole, and joined the party)
After 105 BC, however, the C.R.A.P. suffered a serious decline in there number of seats.
- 104 BC: 0 seats (the seats were made out of wood instead of stone that year. The Party members died of splinters in their assholes.)
No one else joined the party afterwards, and they merged with their twin, the more moderate Progressive Conservatives in 100 BC.