Conservapedia: The game

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Conservapedia is an online text-based game created on November 21st, 2006 by Andrew Schlafly, a liberal activist and teacher. There are several different ways to play the game. The object of the game is to try to play as long as possible without getting banned. When a user is banned, it is game-over and the player must start over again.

edit Styles of Play

edit The Parodist

One way is to insert as much humour and parody into articles without the evil conservative users finding out. Most of the Conservative Sysops are ignorant of anything that occurs outside of their tiny world of creationist and right-wing Christian beliefs, so it is possible to get away with this for a long time. This is one of the most fun ways to play the game.

edit The Common Vandal

This is probably the most fun way to play after the parodist. There are different ways to play the common vandal. The easiest way is to copy and paste offensive material to as many Conservapedia pages as possible and when blocked, disconnect and get another IP address. Before July 2007, this was easy to do but proxy servers are now required as the Sysops have discovered IP range blocks. Once a range is blocked it is rarely ever lifted. Two of the most famous Conservapedians, Icewedge and the Halifax Troll were common vandals although the Halifax Troll started out as a Parodist.

edit The Scientist

This role involves putting actual scientific fact into articles about evolution, geologic time periods, and astronomy. Unlike humour, which Conservatives have no awareness of, science is something they are aware of. Unfortunately, aware of does not mean support. Sysops are extremely hostile to science and fact which means any scientific fact not in line with conservative beliefs is quickly reverted and the user banned. This makes the scientist role rather futile.

edit The Liberal

Similar to the scientist, the Liberal places true information into political and historical articles. Reactions against this type of player are just as swift and brutal to those against the scientist and these are among the least successful types of players. Of the least successful tactics is to quote Pope Francis's opposition to climate changing pollution and nuclear weapons; this will not work as the pope has already been permabanned.

edit The Fake Conservative

This involves making the articles on Conservapedia seem even more extreme then they already are. This role is pretty difficult to play because it is nearly impossible to make Conservapedia any more extreme without issuing a fatwa against someone. For this reason, the Fake Conservative is one of the most difficult roles to play. If you play it well enough, you may one day get to become a Sysop and wreak havoc on Conservapedia. One proven method is to take the ultra conservative stance of condemning to death anyone who reads or quotes the bible in English, like with William Tyndale.

edit The Genuine Conservative

This is probably the most difficult role to play for a couple of reasons. First, it involves having ideas that go against the laws of physics, chemistry, biology, and dozens of other types of science. It also involves hundreds of hours spent reverting "liberal" and "moronic vandalism". Unlike the other roles which are occasional and casual, this role is very time-consuming. It is best suited to male virgins with no life and no friends.

edit What You Will Need To Play

  1. A computer with internet connection
  2. A few hours of spare time
  3. A dynamic IP address so you can create multiple accounts from multiple IP addresses
  4. Access to a proxy server, now required since Andy discovered range blocks
  5. A good sense of humour

edit See also

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