Confucius
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“Woman who uses dynamite as dildo has explosive orgasm.”
“Confucius say: Stop fucking quoting me!”
Confucius born King Kong, was a famous philosopher born in the city of Fuk Qyoo (pronounced faa-rck kwoo in Swiss-Cambodian dialect) in Shandeigh Province, in what is now the People's Republic of China and whose teachings affected the entire world. His teachings were spread to China sometime around the Meiji era, and have greatly affected the ethics of Taiwan, otherwise known as the Wal-Mart's Republic of China.
He is the Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Greater-Greatest-Grand Father of all Chinese with the surname Kong. You can tell what generation the person is by their Middle name. eg: Kong Xian Lin is a generation above Kong Qing Lin, so Kong Qing Lin will call Kong Xian Lin Auntie, even if Kong Qing Lin is older then Kong Xian Lin. The use of the middle name to identify generations is why China is called 中国 or the "Middle Kingdom".
The order of the generations is in a set of 5 blocks of 5 names. After 25 generations, repeat. 宏闻贞尚衍, 兴毓传纪广, 昭宪庆繁祥, 令德维垂佑, Waang, Hong, Wen, Zhen, Shang, Yan, Xing, Liu, Chuan, Ji, Guang, Zhao, Xian, Qing, Fan, Xiang, Ling, De, Wei, Chui, You, Yin, Shao, Nian, Xian, Yang
He has a moustache.
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[edit] The Name
Contrary to popular belief, Confucius isn't his correct name. Due to differences in naming practices in the east and west, Confucius is actually called "William Hung" in oriental countries, though sometimes they called him Uncle Jorge. The term, Confucianism is not related to Confucius in any way, but rather due to the confusing nature of Confucianism, a martial arts more commonly known as "Kungfucianism". His philosophy was based around people having sex and eating at the same time. Though this was though to be impossible, Confucius somehow demonstrated this act to his people and people around the world are eating and having sex at the same time. As you can see from this picture “To eat is sex” is one of the examples of how to live the Confucius life. Many believe that he is most responsible for being the first ping-pong player to put women in their god damn place.
[edit] History
Confucious was born in Confucioustan. He was born under the household of Kaswaki Kambaba and Jhon. He was a lone child left to pick cotton in Greenland because his dad got eaten by a Sperm Whale. Unfortunately his mother Kaswaki was raped by a short circuited robot monkey. During the period in which she was dying she said confukcious. Confucious embraced this name as his own and as history went on the name eventually went from Confukcious to Confucious. He is k nown for his amazing ways of hunting moose. Confucious who is we ll known for inventing the religion of Judaism has also owned ve ry long ethernet cables. Confucious has a penis. Yesterday Chris topher Columbus found it and sold it on eBay for a couple of Nati ve Americas. Confucious was a polygamist and he was very promisc uous. He died of AIDS (chinese edition) after being in a 3.14159 265358979323846433832 hour long orgy with your mom and Napoleon .After dying his 3 ducks were releaed into the wild for feedin g. Durig this feeding they evolved into witches. Witches are bad.
[edit] The Truth
Confucius says "I am awesome"
[edit] Who Is Confucius?
Confucius is an epic immortal and will never die because he sadly, can't. I am really him and I was shocked upon seeing this page, such rudeness to my name. None of these facts are true and make me sad that someone would defile my awesomeness in such a way.
~ Edited by Confucius, MMOwned
[edit] Decendants
While Confucius may have been a huge porn addicted bastard, his descendants aren't necessarily so....
Kong Xian Lei - 87th generation.
King Kong - 171th generation. He is a world famous gorilla, made famous by media exploitation.
Kim Jong-il - 777th generation. He is the ruler of North Korea, South Korea, Iraq, Burma, and China. One of the many reasons people worship him is because he is a descendant of Confucius.
