Confucianism

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Warning: Reasoned Discussion With A Confucian May Cause Communism.

Confusinghands

Walking on clouds is way more impressive than water.

Confucianism (from "confu" an abbreviation of the word "confuse" and the suffix "-ism" which means doctrine (also known as Confusionism). The connection between this and the person named Confucius is a popular misconception. It has no connection whatsoever to him.

Beliefs

A Confucians beliefs are fairly simple really. Women are property. Children are slaves. The ruler needs to get off his ass and care for his simple minded people. His simple minded people must develop a better sense of self rightousnous and nationalism. Destiny is in the stars. Confucious (some old guy with a long forked beard who wrote fortune cookies), the founder, is seen as a deity who advises the Jade Emperor.

Religous Rites

Monks memorize the philosophy of confucious in academies. On the outside, these academies look like nice little traditional houses with pretty little gardens and shrines to ancestors. Never be fooled. Those "pretty" little plants are actually poisonous obstacles, making escape impossible. The shrines are possessed by ghosts. On the inside monks are forced to live in maximum security cells of concrete, eat rotten junk, and meditate in chains. This is probably because of the harshness on religion communism has these days.

Role of Women

Since women are unequal, women cannot ever, ever, ever, EVER, have any bonus rights in society. In fact, her level of beauty is determined by how small her feet are. On top of that, women are treated more strictly during their childhood than men.

Followers

Yoda was not a Confucian, although he certainly sounded like one sometimes.

See also

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