From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Complaining is a pleasant mental state that is characterized by such effects as a feeling of accomplishment and distraction from one's conscious thinking. It can lead to emotions such as euphoria and satisfaction. Complaining is a highly effective method of solving problems. See also whining.
Examples of using complaining to resolve issues:
- Instead of voting, complaining is often used to remove presidents from office.
- Complaining has raised the minimum wage by $.04 three times since 1971.
- The deplorable crime rates and living conditions in New Orleans were complained away in the course of one week.
- As a result of extensive whining and complaining on the Yahoo Message Boards, there have been 2 major wars, the launching of nuclear programs in Pakistan, North Korea, and Iran; and 12 ceasefires, 400 suicide bombs, and 98 peace agreements between Palestine and Isreal.
- Australia's nuclear war plan is completely devoted to using the Complaint Letter war method. Sending Complaint Letter after Complaint Letter to defeat the enemy. This Strategy was also used by the French before they realizes it is slightly more effective to nuke a country.
How it works
A complaint is a stimulus that can produce a highly effective state of annoyance in another person. It can be used to inflict a persistent and mild physical pain upon one's boss, a little sister, husband, or that fatass bitch in the returns department who won't refund the original price because the item went on sale after you bought it. I can't stand it when that happens! Who do these minimum wage workers think they are anyway? Why can't these superstore chains come up with a decent returns department? I'm sick of waiting in a long line with 50 people in it when CLEARLY there are 4 other registers but only one is ever open. Especially when there's 3 other workers wandering around behind the counter chatting and eating potato chips. They get paid for this? %&*#! I remember back in the day when the Customer was treated like royalty. They even had plaques stating "The Customer is Always Right" hanging up behind the front desk....but I digress.
This is almost as effective as the verbal complaint, but it takes so long to type it out and think of a way to complain without cussing and making the evil faces which are so much easier to do in person and then you have to find a stamp and a mailbox and wait for a response so you're probably better off complaining in person. The complaint letter is considered a legal and binding document and once the complainee receives one he is obligated by law to resolve the complaint.
A little known fact is that this is how the little know country Australia wages war.
Are but you see Australia is a smart country sending complaint letters just show Australia is not worth bombing and in secret australia is making there own nukes
The main users
The main users of this technique is needy girlfriends or annoyed mothers.