Command Line

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Gosh darnit Windows is annoying me.
But I got this Uncyclux CD that Bob said would let me
get my porn do all the stuff I normally do online,
but without spyware and adware and viruses
and Windows being flaky garbage and crashing all the time.
The Live CD worked really nicely, so I've just run the install.
I should be much happier.


X startup failed, starting command line ...

Uncyclux 6.66 LTS uncyclo-laptop tty2 Login: uncyclopedia Password: Uncyclux uncyclo-laptop #1 SMP PREEMPT Wed Jun 6 6:06:06 UTC 2006 i666 GNU/Uncyclux

The programs included with the Uncyclux system are free software; BUT MAY NOT BE DISTRIBUTED. It is important that you don't distribute this software, because our IRC Channels get flooded.

Uncyclux comes with ABSOLUTELY NO WARRANTY, to the extent permitted by applicable law. You have mail. Last login: Tue Jun 5 16:06:06 2006 uncyclopedia@uncyclo-laptop:~$ help

Welcome to Uncyclux 6.66, "Faggy Ferret." Based off the UncycloKernel, this is the best release of Uncyclux yet!

  --help   Displays actual help.

  --i question   Interactive version of actual help

  --omgwtfbbq   Secret Feature

uncyclopedia@uncyclo-laptop:~$ where is the GUI?

bash: where: No such command.

uncyclopedia@uncyclo-laptop:~$ help --help


uncyclopedia@uncyclo-laptop:~$ about

Uncyclux was based off of the UncycloKernel. Its slogan is "Linux for Human Beans"

uncyclopedia@uncyclo-laptop:~$ omgwtfbbq

Secret feature disabled for n00bs. It's for your own good.

uncyclopedia@uncyclo-laptop:~$ python

Welcome to UncycloPythonTM! It is Uncyclux(R)'s revolutionary new Python based command line. 'help' does nothing. 'license' also does nothing. Just start programming. >>> I not a programmer!

  File "<stdin>", line 1   I not a programmer!   ^   Of course you are!

>>> quit Python can not quit. >>> :( Python is now quitting.

uncyclopedia@uncyclo-laptop:~$ help --i why is uncyclux broken?

Do you really want to know? [y/n] y REALLY? [y/n] y Honestly, RTFM. FIGURE IT OUT ON YOUR OWN. Do you want to? [y/n] n

Too bad. Sucks to be you.

uncyclopedia@uncyclo-laptop:~$ boot WinXP


uncyclopedia@uncyclo-laptop:~$ :(

OH, no you don't! That's not working this time, biatch.

uncyclopedia@uncyclo-laptop:~$ irc

Join #uncyclux? [y/n] y Nick? ReallyMadUser

Topic: PLEASE BEHAVE LIKE AN ABSOLUTE BITCH | tell everyone to rtfm, even if problem is not in manual. | lol, i'm an op | I can change the topic | <dipshit> rtfm | <moron> rtfm | <uncyclux_user> Can I get some help? | RTFM! <ReallyMadUser> Hi, I recently installed Uncyclux and would like to boot in GUI mode, I mean, it did from the live CD. <moron> like, lol, rtfm <ReallyMadUser> I did. <moron> <ReallyMadUser> I DID read the manual. Can any of you actually help? <op> OMFG YOU ARE SO DISRESPECTFUL THAT IS OUR BEST USER <moron> ya, i'm quoted in the topic <op> YA! HES QUOTED IN TEH TOPIC <ReallyMadUser> Excuse me...I just need X to work. <op> STFU * ReallyMadUser has been kicked by op (Reason: omfg, use winxp already)

uncyclopedia@uncyclo-laptop:~$ X

Access denied.

uncyclopedia@uncyclo-laptop:~$ ls -ld /usr/bin/X

The object is too far away.

uncyclopedia@uncyclo-laptop:~$ go /usr/bin

You are in a large wastebasket, along with many death row prisoners. The puns here are contemptible.

Exits are:   up /usr   east ../share

Your torch goes out.

You may be eaten by a grue.

uncyclopedia@uncyclo-laptop:~$ light torch

The grue cowers in fear from your torch.

uncyclopedia@uncyclo-laptop:~$ su - Password: Password: Password: Access denied.

uncyclopedia@uncyclo-laptop:~$ su - Password: Password: Password: What makes you think there is a root password?

uncyclopedia@uncyclo-laptop:~$ experience

Ha ha ha.

uncyclopedia@uncyclo-laptop:~$ sudo X Password:

Xunc: X Window System Version Release Date: 6 June 2006 X Protocol 11, Version 2, Release 6.3.2, Patch 77a Build Operating System: Uncyclux Current Operating System: Uncyclux uncyclo-laptop #1 SMP PREEMPT Wed Jun 6 6:06:06 UTC 2006 i666 Build Date: 6 June 2006   Before reporting problems, check   to make sure that you have the latest version.   (==) Log file: "/var/log/Xunc.0.log", Time: Tue Jul 11 09:15:24 2006   (==) Using config file: "/etc/X11/xunc.conf"   (==) ServerLayout "Default Layout"   (^^) |-->Screen "Default Screen" (0)   (^^) | |-->Monitor "LCD with five dead pixels"   (^^) | |-->Device "ATI Technologies, Inc. Radeon l33tz0r 1337 (OM6 ORLY)"   (^^) |-->Input Device "Tiny Squishy Keyboard"   (^^) |-->Input Device "Clitmouse, er, Nipplemouse, er, TrackPoint"   (^^) |-->Input Device "Neuralgix Touchpad"   (oo) The directory "/usr/share/X11/fonts/cyrillic" does not exist.   Entry deleted from font path.   (oo) The directory "/usr/share/X11/fonts/CID" does not exist.   Entry deleted from font path.   (oo) `fonts.dir' not found (or not valid) in "/var/lib/defoma/x-ttcidfont-conf.d   (OO) Danger danger Will Robinson   (OO) Bill Gates wants j00r laptop   (!!) REPEL NINJA PIRATE INVADERS!   (!!) "OO-ARRRRR CAPTAIN-SAN! HONORABLE SAKE SODOMY AND LASH!"   (XX) Aborting ...   (XX) Terminated.

uncyclopedia@uncyclo-laptop:~$ help X

Like, lol, rtfm

uncyclopedia@uncyclo-laptop:~$ man X

X(1) Uncyclux Manual X(1)

NAME   X - display pr0n, crash your video card SYNOPSIS   X [-displaynumber] [-a acceleration] [-ac] [-audit level] [-auth file]   [{-}bc] [-br] [-bs] [-c | c volume] [-cc] [-co filename] [-core]   [-deferglyphs font [font [font ...]]] [-youarentreally readingall   [thiscrap]] ...

DESCRIPTION   X is a Windowing system that is good for new users. It can use GNOME, KDE or   XFCE. We do not recommend you use X, because Uncyclux does not have   native support for the X Windowing System. Sorry! This will be added   in 20 years. You might get some help on irc(1).

--more-- q

uncyclopedia@uncyclo-laptop:~$ man irc

IRC(1) Uncyclux Manual IRC(1)

NAME   irc - talk to teenage girls who are really 40yo FBI agents SYNOPSIS   irc

  The IRC channel #uncyclux is the best IRC channel in the world. It will   cater to your EVERY need. It also provides tips for n00bs. You'll never   need the manual with this channel around!

--more-- q

uncyclopedia@uncyclo-laptop:~$ yeah right

ARE YOU DOUBTING ME? [y/n] y OH MY GOD. computer will explode in: 10

uncyclopedia@uncyclo-laptop:~$ NO! STOP!


uncyclopedia@uncyclo-laptop:~$ I'm sorry! I'm sorry!


uncyclopedia@uncyclo-laptop:~$ damn and blast


uncyclopedia@uncyclo-laptop:~$ xyzzyFile:CursorCL.gif

Access key accepted. Welcome to X.Org.

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