From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Comedy Central is an American cable TV station that was started
by the infamous intimate Five Jewish Bankers of indeterminate ethnicity that could be any race, creed, color, or bank account one of them could be Bill Cosby fuck that goddamn sometime in the late 20th Century. It started out as a small station, showing funny clips meant for 'common people' and achieved success by running mediocre shows like Reno 911, Mind of Mencia, and comedy roasts, while derailing the runaway success of its greatest show, Chappelle's Show because Dave Chappelle, its creator, didn't want to be as racist as his bosses anymore.
Comedy Central was launched on April Fool's Day of 1991 when HBO (owned by Time Warner) decided to merge its unpopular comedy channel with MTV's program, HA! By working together, they attempted to create an entire channel of unpopular
shit shows. Comedy Central was first known as CTV, short for "Comedy Television." Canadian audiences complained because they had a network named "CTV" as well, short for "Canadian Television." What the Canadians failed to realize was that no one in America cared anything about what went on outside its borders, especially Canadian television programming. As a result, CTV was forced to change its name and become "Comedy Central". The channel was sold to Disney in 1995. It was later sold to Viacom, which is the reason Dave Chappelle exiled himself to Africa after quitting his show in 2005.
Since Comedy Central had (and still has) no original ideas of their own, they picked up cult favorite Mystery Science Theater 3000, which was never meant to be considered a quality show by any networks in existence. Since the program already had a huge following, and the character Crow T. Robot never ran out witty one-liners, it was inevitable that more people would eventually tune in. Joel Hogdson, its host and creator, made a fatal career move and left MST3K at Comedy Central in its heyday, and his show went with another host, fell into overdrive fail, then death.
Over the years of trial and error, Comedy Central has finally become a staple in American television programming. But as with MST3K, Dave Chappelle was to repeat the same career error in 2005 with his Chappelle Show, leaving industry insiders wondering what kind of blueblooded, billionaire-blowing Nazi factory Comedy Central was all about.
Sometimes Comedy Central will air a show that is genuinely funny and creative such as That's My Bush!, The Daily Show, South Park, bad boner jokes from Upright Citizens Brigade, and Viva Variety. Most of the time, patrons are forced to watch people embarrass themselves, like Colin Quinn whose show Tough Crowd was nothing short of a 30-minute stutter-a-thon. It took Comedy Central several years to realize that Colin Quinn was
a racist piece of drunk Irish gay rapist shit who couldn't outwrite a Chinaman at an AK-47 O.K. Corral gunfight, like a poor man's Denis Leary an abomination; his overrated stand-up was awful; he had a major speech impediment as well as massive brain damage; his "Weekend Updates" were only him reading the news some preppie intern from Harvard Lampoon wrote; and yet no one could comprehend how he even got far enough in his career to end up on Saturday Night Live Quinn sucked a truckload of actual dick and not in the figurative sense in the first place.
Since Comedy Central does not pay their talent well, if at all, most shows are short lived; the only exception is South Park, because with Trey Parker and Matt Stone's runaway success,
(producing effective satires that bashed the reputations of Tom Cruise, Scientology, and other groups or people they feel threaten free speech or human rights), the creators vow to destroy Comedy Central with one episode at another media outlet or even at Comedy Central if they notice one hint or suggestion that they would be let go, censored, or fired. this brings critical and commercial acclaim to Viacom/Comedy Central.
These shows are currently aired on Comedy Central, but are soon canceled and re-aired again each year.
- The Colbert Report (see Stephen Colbert)
- Comedy Central Presents
- The Yearly Show
Distraction (U.S. version)
- Erased Together
- Sports Show with Turd Ferguson
- Ignorant and Loud Plagiarism by Fat Mencia Boy
- Reno 911!
The Showbiz Show with David Spade
- North, South, East and West Park
Here are examples of past shows that no one watched,
even though Viacom is brain-damaged beyond repair with all their flying-saucer, Scientology Narconon-advertising, Howard Stern-killing, Dave Chappelle-torturing shit that should have left with Tom Cruise, but some assholes stayed but showed promise as comedy gems:
- 100 Greatest Stand-Ups of All Time
- Almost Live!
- American Family With a Dad as Called as a Guy
- Battlebots (which literally has NOTHING to do with comedy)
- Beat Up the Geeks
- Comic Justice
- Comic Remix
- Crank Yankers
- Dennis Miller on Existentialism in Mesopotamia While Platyhelminthes Play the Glockenspiel with Wally George and the Andrea True Connection (which was also a typical joke on that show)
- Don't Forget Your Toothbrush. No, Seriously, Your Breath Smells Like Comedy Central's Fall Lineup.
- Dr. Krapz, Professional Crappisst
- Exit 57
- The Osama Bin Laden Effect
- American Family Guy Dad
- Bender Strikes Back!
- The Higgins Boys and Gruber
- The Hollow Men
- Insomniac with Dave Attell
- Let's Bowl (season 2)
- The Man Show
- Mystery Science Theater 3000 (seasons 1–7)
- Night after Night with Alan Havey
- Politically Incorrect
- Premium Blend
- Short Attention Span Theater
- Shorties Watching Biggies
- Sports Monster
- Stand-Up Sitdown with Paul Provenza
- Stand-Up Stand-Up
- Straight Plan for the Gay Man
- Strangers With Candy
- Strip Mall
- That's My Bush!
- Too Late with Adam Corolla
- Tough Crowd!
- Trigger Happy TV
- TV Funhouse
- Upright Citizens Brigade
- Viva Variety
- Wanda Does It
- Weekends at the D.L. (Hosted by D.L. Hughley)
- Kick Ben Stein's Ass
Here are examples of shows that everyone hates and deserves to be killed:
- Freak Show
- Lil' Bush
- The Sarah Silverman Program