Colouring Book University
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Colouring Book University, formerly the University of Crayons and Colouring Books is a prestigious Ivy League school located on beautiful Cape Breton Island. It is located on the Glace Bay express near the David Dingwall International Airport. There are approximetly 100,000 students that attend the University. Tuition fees are lower there then anywhere else in the country due to the rich alumni of the University. Colouring Book University offers all types of degrees and programs some of which are a Phd in Nuclear Physics, Phd in Advanced Calculus, Masters Degree in Genetic Engineering, Bachelor of Bomb-making, Degrees in Pharmacy (which is a huge industry in Cape Breton), and a Bachelor of Prostitution.
edit Degrees Offered
- Agricultural Degrees including culitvation of Marijuana, Cocaine, and Magic Mushrooms
- Bachelor of Arts Community Studies: allows graduates to earn minimum wage while also now being heavily in debt
- Bachelor of Business Administration including how to run a prostitution ring and a drug dealing operation
- Pharmacutical Technology: How to make certain types of drugs
- Human Anatomy: Learn about the human body, specifically the female one, includes live, young, and attractive subjects.
- Bachelor of Information Technology: Learn how to committ online fraud.
- Masters Degree in Shoplifting: Learn how to steal from the pros.
- Automotive Mechanics: Learn how to perform odometre rollback schemes and learn how to syphon gasoline.
- PhD in Law: Learn how spin the truth or just make it up all together and make millions defending drug dealers and pimps.
- Masters degree in Political Science: Learn how to become a corrupt politician. It will make you fit in very well in Halifax and Ottawa
- PhD in Tarabish: Learn how to play the greatest undiscovered game in the world
- PhD in Aeronautics: You just take up Space
- PhD in Black Jack: Learn from the blackjack master Dr. Feelgood.
- NEW Marijuana cultivating course 1 year (certificate)
edit Services on Campus
- Caper Convience: Everything from skin mags, skin videos, and condoms. Caper Convenience takes care of all of your sexual needs
- Men's Centre: Sometimes a man just needs a place to go to relax and forget about their problems. Includes a licensed strip club with a bartender who knows a fuck of a lot about hockey.
- Library: Where you go when you have a girl with you and you want some peace and quiet. Just rent a room for the afternoon and go at it.
- The Pit: Largest bar east of Montreal, largest deck east of Slutwaters in Fredericton. Home to blackjack tournaments every day with masters such as the googly-eyed bastard, Napoleon CMooore the tall, full haired headed man, Doctor Feelgood, who's british nobility will stun you, the shady guy, sturgdog, The Captain of his own ship. and the rest of them, who are so unknown that they don't have names. All of them are Honours Students in the Aeronatics programme, So good students, none of them need to go to class. Pop will cost you a hundred dollars a pop, and beer is flowing cheaper than water in the high class establishment, also is a dress code and conduct code, Where people must wear actual nice clothing and behave sensibly. It is also known for its bright light atmosphere and well populated smoking area, where all the blackjack masters gather. On thursday's The pit is renown for the possum lodge word game. Where prizes are new cars and free beer.
- Smoking area: Three feet from the door
- The Gym: Home of CBU's star soccer team of the Sturgdawg, the Googley Eyed Bastard, Dr. Feelgood, the Shady Arab, Napolean Dynomite, the Jefferson Starship, the guy with Red Hair, and Mr. Ass.
edit Faculty Members
- Charles Darwin - Professor of
- Screamin' Stephen Hawking - Professor of American Singing and Entertainment
- Richard Dawkins - Religious Studies
- Albert Einstein - Arithemetic Teacher
- David Dingwall - Professor of Business Ethics
- George W. Bush - Peace Studies
- Bill Clinton - Drug Dealing 101, Advanced Bullshitting, Professor of Reproduction (Human & Animal)
- Nicolas Sarkozy - International Politics
- Albert Gore, Sr. - Race Relations & Cross Burning
- Michael Richards- Professor of Race Relations
- J. Phillipe Rushton - Professor of Women's Studies
- Mel Gibson - Professor of Christian-Jewish relations
- David Mullan - Professor of Homosex studies
- Osama bin Laden - Professor of Islamic Studies
- Mahmoud Ahmadinejad - Professor of Hebrew Studies
- Adolf Hitler - Assistant Professor of Hebrew Studies
- Ted Kennedy - Driver's Ed
- Michael Jackson - Parenting Classes
edit Famous Alumni
- Smooth Herman
- Honorable John Cabot Trail
- John Morgan
- Mr. T
- Rita MacNeil
- Jesus H. Christ
- Ashley MacIsaac
- Stephen Harper
- Tony Sturgess
- Brian Mulroney
- Balls Mahoney
- Guadalupe De La Cruz
- Raoul Hernandez
- Doug Fisher
- Oscar Wilde
- That guy who sleeps in the lobby of the bank on Charlotte St.
- Oscar de la Hoya
- Oscar the Grouch
- Brian Kent
- Vance McPhee
- Shaun McPhee
- Doug the Slug
- Raymond Scardino
- Guido Sardouche
- King Booker
- Joe Hub
- William Shakespeare
- Angus MacAskill
- Tony Danza
- The Cotton Picker
- Psycho Bitch
- Larry the Cable Guy
- Osama bin Laden
- Pauly Shore
- Doctor Feelgood
- The Shady Arab
- Napolean Dynomite
- Bruce Frisko
- Paul Canning
edit See also
- Glace Bay
- Sydney, Nova Scotia
- New Waterford
- Cape Breton
- Cape Breton Correctional Centre
- Cambodian Banana University
- Newfoundland and Labrador