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The Colorguard is the craziest part of the band that consists of a group of girls that are considered more honorable and noble than cheerleaders because they risk their lives by spinning weapons and 6 ft (and sometimes bigger) metal poles. The main role of colorguard is to distract judges and tell a story and to hit band members in their instrument, head, and/or testicles (mostly likely we go for the testicles). The normal colorguard mainly is composed of all girls but sometimes has one or two boys that are normally homosexual. The guard performs at all times in the year and must learn two different shows plus solo and ensemble and captain tryout routines. It is known as the "Sport of the Art".
Standard Guard Procedures
They always have a small room that they cram into and try to spin weapons and flags while the drumline and percussion have a bigger room... They also always have their own bus in which they must attempt to apply make-up without stabbing themselves in the eye.
When the captains or instructor tells you to do it again, it normally means to do it 10 more times. When they say it is better, it is still not perfect and will continue to harass you until you do something perfect. When you get an injury, you are told to rub some dirt on it and do it again. When you are told to drop, you must do it in front of everyone so you can be harassed for being late, etc. I bet you all can guarantee that you are terrified of girls with weapons and big metal poles. Just ask the band, they have had enough of our harassment.
Types of Color Guard Members
- Leader- The leader type is usually thinking they know best and can't stand to be proven wrong. When they are proven wrong, they throw a fit and won't listen until they have proven they are some what right.
- Slacker- The typical slacker is only in color guard because A) they have nothing to do or B) they were made to join by a parent, friend, or teacher.
- Kiss-up- These girls can't stand to see one hair out of place, one person out of step, or fall out of attention when it is clear that practice over unless they are called out of it. The tend to be a follower of the LEADER.
- Gay- Almost every color guard at one point or another has the one guy who will try out and make it. This boy is usually gay and enjoys the company of women without thinking of having sex with or raping them.
- Drama Queen- There are many of these in every group of girls. They love gossip and spreading rumors and if there is a cat fight, guess who started it. The good for nothing drama queens with a stick up there asses.
- Entergeticly Horrible- These girls have the most energy in the world. But they suck at twirling a flag. They only made the group because of their energy and the lack of a better person to take their spot.
- Normal- These girls are few and far between. They are normal girls who dislike drama and don't tend to start the 'beat you to a pulp with words' rumors.
Color guard girls are not to be messed with, especially during their time of month. They have six foot poles and weapons. They will beat the living day lights out of you when mess with. If this causes you an inconvenience, please avoid the members at all cost. (Unless you are a field judge. We don't feel bad if we hit you.)