Color Bars

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Color Bars

SMPTE Color Bars
Cast: (clockwise, from upper left) White, Yellow, Cyan, Green, Magenta, Red, Blue, Black, Purple.
Genre: Sitcom
Opening Theme: 1000 Hz
Produced by: Woody Allen
Country of Origin: England
Language: English, Japanese, American
Budget: £9,000,000/Season
Number of Seasons: 35
Number of Episodes: 530
For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Color Bars.

Color Bars is a popular long-running television series. It has been praised for its engaging storyline and multiracial cast. The story follows the misadventures of the protagonist (White) in his quest to find his place in the world while raising his 7 children with his wife, Green.

The series is often aired between the hours of 2 AM and 6 AM on most major networks.

edit Cast and Characters

Main article: Rainbow

Note: all cast members play themselves in the series.

edit White

Often has disagreements with his cousin Yellow, whom he sees as not quite "white" enough. Despite their differences, White grows extremely close to the family, even turning down his mother (Cyan) when she offers to let him move back in with her again in Harlem.

edit Yellow

The successful cousin of White, he is a businessman in South Korea and during most of Season 1 and 2 he is under the influence of marijuana.

edit Cyan

The mother of White, a stereotypical Jewish Mother. She is a firmly conservative Republican, and proves both friend and foe for White.

edit Green

The wife of White, whom he met at a hotel in the winter during a snow storm. Bore White's seven children.

edit Magenta

A hooker that often provides comic relief in the series. First met White in episode 4 when his car broke down and later (in episode 204) is revealed to be White's grandmother.

edit Red

The well-meaning father of White who often gets in trouble with the cops. A Korean war veteran himself, he is often heard reminiscing his time spent in the war and teaching White's kids life-lessons.

edit Blue

White's gay roommate from college who lives with White's parents, Cyan and Red. Runs a laundromat across the street and often feuds with Yellow.

edit Purple

White's sister. Practices Satanism and Wicca and is often seen in a grumpy mood. Does not like children and often scares White and Green's kids.

edit Black

The nigger of the show who just can't seem to catch a brake, he is constantly looking for a job( and getting it) but losses his jobs due to funny circumstances. The group never pays attention to him or is even aware of his existence due to them always walking on him even though he has saved the life of White at least twice in every episode.

edit Little Blue, Little Magenta, Little Cyan, Little White, and Little Black x3

White and Green's seven children.

edit Reception

Praised for its exceedingly realistic graphics and usage of the still images to portray complex issues on global interrelationships and quantum electrodynamics, this show has been watched by everyone. This show is so popular that it will interrupt any show on TV whenever a new episode comes out. Indeed, this show is so powerful that anyone who sat through watching just one episode will feel great amounts of pain and suffering to the ear, the eyes, and eventually the brain. You will have to be made of stone not to feel anything as you listen to the monotonic music and bright colours. Some people claim that this is not a show, and instead will switch channels. However, these people are simply ignorant on daily issues threatening mankind, and are deemed "normal people".

edit Digital Television

In 2009, the arrival of digital television mostly fazed out Color Bars, replacing it instead with what some TV engineers referred to as "more stable shows", such as House, Friends, and Lost.

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